DOSE: T+ 0:00	1 cig.	smoked	Cannabis
T+ 0:30	1 hit	smoked	Salvia divinorum	(extract)

BODY WEIGHT:

130 lb

I have had experiences with s. divinorum before, but they were enigmatic and confusing at best. I will try to sort them out at a later date; for now, however, I will relate to you the visions I was given last night.

10-20-2012

I spent the day relaxing and reading trip reports. I had the house to myself that evening, so I decided once more to try and break through to salvia space... I broke through to somewhere, alright, but I may have overshot salvia space.

The night before I had had a strong experience with 20x of being stuck halfway inside a wall where I work, but still somehow partially in my room. My coworkers wanted me to clock in and help, but I couldn't move seeing as I was stuck between dimensions. Determined not to repeat that uncomfortable experience, I increased the dose this time about two and a half times. I figured this would be enough to propel me into a trip like the ones I had been reading about. I had no idea what I was really getting myself into.

So I loaded up what I'd say was about .05 grams of 20x into my bong, and smoked a joint to settle my nerves. I turned off the TV and all the lights except my bedside lamp, and sat down on my bed. I sat in the lamplight and meditated briefly, preparing my mind for the experience. When I felt ready, I picked up the bong and prepared to take a hit. I flicked my lighter and held it to the bowl, but immediately the flame went out. I shook my head in frustration - this always seems to happen when I smoke salvia - and tried again, this time with greater success. I pulled hard for a good ten seconds, holding the flame over the bowl the whole time. Before I knew it my lungs were full. I lifted the bowl and tried to gulp down more smoke, filling my lungs to maximum capacity, but try as I might there were still a few ghostly wisps floating in the chamber. By now I was starting to feel short on time, so I put the bong down a safe distance away and quickly went to turn off my lamp. I was sitting in complete darkness, waiting for the trip to take hold. Waiting, wai ...

Suddenly, I was forcibly ripped from my body and stripped of my memories, my emotions, my identity. I was stripped down to a naked singularity of consciousness, with no ties to any previous form of existence. For simplicity's sake, we will refer to this point of awareness as 'I'. At first, I was alone for an unknown amount of time, when suddenly an entity, who I will call the Curator, came along. It had a physical form, but I can't remember anything about what it looked like. It brought me up and out of my empty space, and as we ascended, it became apparent that this infinite space was covered by an endless dome ceiling.

At first glance, the dome seemed to be blanketed by an endlessly complex psychedelic fresco; however, as the Curator and I grew closer to the dome surface, I could see that each scene in the collage was an entire independent reality! Looking even closer, I noticed that the ceiling was covered in little pits or vortices, and I wondered what they were. The Curator seemed to sense my curiosity, and explained that they were called 'nodes' - portals or 'hallways' into another series of realities. The Curator went on to say that we were only in 'the Core,' and that each of these nodes leads to a winding tunnel, each tunnel is covered in universal scenes and nodes just like the Core, and the nodes lead ever deeper with no end (in retrospect, the way it was described to me is very reminiscent of fractals). 'Would you like to enter one?' the Curator asked. Somehow, 'I' communicated my consent - perhaps telepathically - and off we were.

From then on, it seemed like we spent years going through the tunnels, the Curator bringing me into universe after universe. From the outside, they looked like coherent pictures representing the contents of the universe, but inside they were their own domes - finite, but still rather huge - and the universal scenes were replaced by life scenes, which depicted the lives of the beings in each universe. This grand tour of worlds lasted for some time, and each time we entered a new universe and a new life, I was struck more and more with wonderment and awe.

After a very long time had passed, in a certain universe down certain tunnel we came across a rather intriguing life scene. I watched the being on the wall in front of me, a rather lanky pink fellow, sitting motionless in a room. The Curator, who had already gone somewhat ahead of me, again sensed my interest. He tried to discourage me by explaining that this being was of little significance and utterly uninteresting. 'I've looked in on him a few times before, nothing but a lazy bachelor living with his mom...'

That was the last thing I heard before being sucked into the scene in front of me. In an instant, all of the memories, beliefs, relationships... The entirety of this being's experience flooded my awareness, and I found myself looking with his eyes. All was dark. A thought came to me: turn on the light. This 'being' knew where the light was, so, naturally, I did too. I flipped the switch, and the room lit up.

Everything still felt like a scene, as though somehow this reality was less real than the dimension I had just left. The walls looked thin and propped up, and my surroundings appeared two-dimensional. I then turned this being's head downward, and was greeted by a completely alien sight. All these pink appendages branching off into other appendages... It is a very strange feeling having to become re-acquainted with the human form. It's even stranger when it suddenly dawns on you that the body you are looking at is your own, and always has been.

When I finally started to realize what had happened, I was overwhelmed by the intensity and enormity of what I had experienced. I noticed a strange sensation on top of my head, as if my soul had been ripped from my mind and, now returned, was re-attaching itself. I was mentally and physically exhausted; I began to shake. I closed my eyes and looked back across my mind-space at the Curator. We began to communicate, more in feelings and abstract ideas than actual words. What follows is a paraphrased transcript of our telepathic conversation:

Me: What... How...?

Curator: A lot more than you expected, hmm?

Me: I really don't know how to process any of this.

Curator: It takes time.

Me: What do I do now?

Curator: Just keep living. And keep seeking answers. But remember that psychedelics are powerful tools - so treat them with respect.

Me (filled with religious awe): How do I observe these sacred truths you've shown me?

Curator: I understand your reaction. But you don't have to DO anything. There's nothing sacred about it. It's just another facet of reality.

Me: Wait! One more thing. What do you mean by 'lazy bachelor'? I'm only 19, after all...

(no response)

By this time I was once again completely part of this reality. My mind was still reeling, trying to get a handle on all that had just happened. I decided the best thing to do was to go to sleep, so I had a cigarette and laid back down on my bed.

I went into this trip looking for a 'worthwhile' salvia experience, and ended up having the most intense spiritual journey of my short life. If I didn't know any better, I might think that I've learned all there is to learn from any psychedelic. If anything, it might be a while before I smoke salvia again.

Exp Year: 2012	ExpID: 98024
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 19
Published: Jan 18, 2013	Views: 8,046
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Salvia divinorum (44) : Mystical Experiences (9), Alone (16)