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Tribute to My Shaman
LSD & Valium
Citation:   daytripper. "Tribute to My Shaman: An Experience with LSD & Valium (exp95492)". Erowid.org. Nov 21, 2024. erowid.org/exp/95492

 
DOSE:
T+ 0:00
1 hit   LSD
  T+ 1:38 10 mg oral Pharms - Diazepam
BODY WEIGHT: 175 lb
About a year ago a very good friend of a friend introduced me to DMT. He is rather wealthy and a very free thinking liberal who had gotten into shamanic tribal rituals as a way to express his spirituality. He explained to my friend how this has helped and guided him through difficult times in his life and asked if he would like to participate one night with him. My friend liked what he heard, agreed and invited me to come along. We were encouraged to come with a purpose and to treat it as a spiritual event rather than a recreational party to “see some cool shit.” My friend is married with a few kids and says he received revelation that night which has helped him to this day. I also feel like I received some guidance through those rituals which has helped me be a better person.

However, this trip report is not about DMT. I just want to set up my ideology in regards to mind expanding substances. I am writing this in hopes to help the psychedelic community regain respect and the spiritual nature of these substances. It is the loss of this spirituality which has caused them to become banned in our modern society. Much benefit can come through mind expansion if done properly, but I feel that too many people are taking these things to get “fucked up” instead of finding ways to make the world a better place. I’ve smoked DMT 5 times total on 2 different occasions and only had 1 “bad” trip because I took the hits just to get crazy. I was taken to a place I never want to go back to. I have wanted to try acid for quite some time now and to increase my odds of having a “good” trip I took a spiritual approach to it.
to increase my odds of having a “good” trip I took a spiritual approach to it.
Here is my story:

After a long quest for some good acid I finally found some (that’s an entirely other story in itself) and then after another long quest to find some time to take it I finally did. I prepared for the trip by going to the gym and having a relaxing sauna session to get my endorphins flowing in the morning. The night before I listened to a bunch of Terence Mckennas speeches on how to take psychedelics to get myself in the right frame of mind. I packed up everything I would need (food, water, pen and pad of paper, along with some valium just in case things got too gnarly) and dropped at noon.

Purpose for my trip – how can I better help myself and other people in this life.
Mind Set – pretty nervous about the unknown but excited for the trip
Setting – trip alone in a giant garden park about a 10 minute walk away from my house.

+0 - I kept the small blotter tab in my mouth for 20 minutes as I made my final preparations to head to a nearby park, which has an immensely beautiful flower garden that takes up about a half mile squared and looks out over the city. It reminded me of Alice in Wonderland even when I wasn’t on drugs. As I was walking to the park I started to feel the initial effects. I have never taken acid before so all I knew about it was from what I’ve read on the internet, and in retrospect that is like one saying I know what making love is like from watching porn. You can't even come close to understanding the intensity and fullness of the experience unless you are the one going through it. Like the Grateful Dead say in their song Ripple,

“There is a road, no simple highway,
Between the dawn and the dark of night,
And if you go no one may follow,
That path is for your steps alone.”

+1 hour - I could feel the energy flowing through my body. It truly felt electric or chemical. I never knew what people meant until I felt it myself. I didn’t think I was tripping yet, I just felt high, so I sat on a bench and began to write down some notes. When I was done I looked at the ground and it started to swirl ever so slightly, which made me nervous for a second then happy because I knew the tab had worked and was the dose I wanted to take (which in my best guess was about 50 micrograms because it was just over the threshold dose of 30 mics).

+1:15 – when my eyes were closed I began to see flashes of light but no real hallucinations. The energy became more intense and my mind began to work faster and faster.

+1:30 – I was walking to another part of the park and began to feel like the acid was taking over my body and breaking me apart. This feeling is best described as my body being gently defragmented. My anxiety was climbing because I noticed I was starting to act funny. I couldn’t do anything for more than 5 seconds at a time. I would start to walk one way and decide that wasn’t where I wanted to go, so I would head a different way, then repeat that process several more times within a minute. I would grab my water bottle for a drink, get it half way to my mouth and decide I didn’t want it anymore, put it back in my pocket then want a drink again. I would start to take my jacket off cuz I felt hot and then zip it up again because I wanted it on. Needless to say I was trippin balls in the park. I felt like the only thing that would make me feel better was to sing and dance around like Indians when they are doing a peyote ritual. However, I could not do this at that point (1hr 38mins into the trip) so to lower my anxiety a bit I popped 10mg of the Valium I had, which I am SOOOO thankful for. I chose this dose because I received a prescription for them after a sports injury where I would take 5mg and I didn’t feel like it did anything to me at all. So I figured 10mg would be enough to kill the anxiety without altering the trip too significantly. The feeling I had right before I took the valium was one of impending doom like I couldn’t even make it to the next park bench 100 yards away. This later became the most spiritual part of my trip (discovered later) because of the immensely overwhelming feelings of impossibleness to complete my journey. Within 5 minutes the valium began to kick in and my situation felt manageable again.
Within 5 minutes the valium began to kick in and my situation felt manageable again.


+2:30 – 5:30 I walked back to my house, still on edge a little but trying to enjoy the trip and ate a little bit of food (I had all my food prepared so it was easy to access when the time came). After that I grabbed my laptop, plugged in some headphones and started listening to classical music and nature sounds. The next 3 hours was some of the most beautiful and enlightening time of my life to date.

I realized that acid isn’t about visuals for me this time. It was about being comfortable and accepting the world for what it is. When I try and control everything (which is impossible for me on LSD) I have a very difficult and anxious time and cannot enjoy the beauty of the world. I was not having wild colorful hallucinations like some people describe. I would consider them very mild and just over baseline, which is why I would estimate my dose at 50 micrograms. I would have to look at something for a second for it to bend or melt, but when I did it was beautiful. The stone wall above the fireplace was flowing like lava. The patterns on the rock looked like stone colored flames. Tables and desks would morph into impossible space bending shapes. There is a picture of Time Square on one of the walls and the buildings would dance to the music. At one point they were dancing the waltz. The lamp shade seemed like it was playing the harp for me during one part of a song. I was able to look at myself in the mirror and see my eyes pop out of my head and my body and face morph into an alien like creature and actually enjoy what I saw instead of fear it. My point is, this trip for me wasn’t about the visuals, but being comfortable in that world so that I could enjoy the beauty it had to show me. Thinking back on when I was in the park, desperate and overwhelmed by the thought of not being able to make it to my next stop it reminded me of someone who was on the edge of suicide or fed up with their life (at no point did I feel like harming myself or others during my trip, these thoughts are in retrospect). Those people are not able to enjoy the true beauty of life because they are not comfortable in their situation. My quest for this trip was to find ways to better help myself and others in this life and my conclusion was it is my mission to make people feel as comfortable, loved, accepted and appreciated as possible so that they can enjoy the true beauty of life like I was able to.

+530 – 800 – the mind affects of the drug have calmed down, I am able to regain my natural thought process, for the most part, and the visuals have subsided. I get some more to eat and just lay down to reflect on my trip.

+12:00 I get in bed but cannot fall asleep until 1:30. Psychedelics are very hard on me mentally and have a long lasting effect. When I tripped mushrooms I felt like I went the full 8 hours on just 1 gram. One thing that helped keep me calm on the comedown (and I didn’t take any more valium since the initial 10 mgs) was to realize that I would trip until I woke up the next morning. Thankfully the intense part of my journey only lasted about 5 hours, which is still a long ass time, but I’ve read some reports where people go fully back into the trip at 8 hours. I was grateful that didn’t happen to me.

Just as you would not take a vacation without a plan of where you want to go and what you want to accomplish beforehand, one needs to prepare their mind and body for such an intense experience to get the most out of it. Some people can take acid and go about their day normally on it but I cannot. After tripping this way I don’t think that I will ever do it any other way.

When I felt I was done tripping I called my friend who acted as my shaman for my first DMT trips and thanked him for showing me the ways of spirituality through psychedelics, he was grateful to hear from me. I called my other friend who was with me the night of that first DMT trip and told him what happened and that I was grateful he invited me to my initial experience. It is now the next morning and my mind feels great and the visuals are gone. Sometimes I think I notice a little residual visuals but probably not. I am not the hippy type and if you looked at me you would never guess that I like mind expanding drugs, but I am grateful for every experience I’ve had and hope that my future experiences can be increasingly more beautiful and helpful than they have been up to this point. I wish the same upon all who read this and any noble traveler who dares embark on a journey through the mind.

Exp Year: 2012ExpID: 95492
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 24
Published: Nov 21, 2024Views: 35
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Pharms - Diazepam (115), LSD (2) : Combinations (3), Nature / Outdoors (23), Glowing Experiences (4), General (1), Alone (16)

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