DOSE:		oral	Ayahuasca
		smoked	Tobacco

BODY WEIGHT:

140 lb

The first effects of the ayahuasca were from the caapi vine. I took the ayahuasca at 11:00pm and the first effects began around 11:30. I felt a strange sense of peace and calm inside which radiated and extended out from my core out to my limbs and eventually to my third eye. When these effects started I felt like I needed to be outside. There was something I needed to see.

I walked outside to smoke a cigar and I was immediately drawn to the moon. Looking up at the sky I noticed the moon appeared very close and I could see it very clearly, more clearly than usual. I noticed all the details of the moon in great detail. There weren’t many stars in the sky, but the few that were out seemed to form a circle around the moon. It looked like one big, beautiful cosmic portrait painted just for me. Looking up into the sky, I realized how long it had been since I had last taken the moment to look up at the sky and admire the moon and the heavens and be grateful for them. I was filled with awe at this thought. I realized that I was focusing too much of my time on working and my typical routine that I was disconnected from the beauty of nature and the universe. I realized that I was doing the right things in my life, but that I didn’t have to be in a hurry for things to happen because they’re still going to happen regardless of if I try to rush them or not and it didn't really matter anyways in the end. I’m on the right track and that’s all that matters! I felt I needed more balance and to appreciate the simple things in life again. At that moment I was in awe of the natural world around me and I remembered feeling this way when I was a child. As grownups we forget what it’s like to feel this curiosity and connectedness to everything like it was when we were children. I felt reconnected to my inner child again, who I had suppressed over the years.

I went back inside my house and started playing my guitar. It was something I hadn’t done in years due to lack of time and motivation, but now that I was rediscovering myself and the things that used to make me happy before I starting living to work, it seemed only fitting. It made me very happy. The guitar seemed to speak to me and the notes resonated against my soul, welcoming me back. I remembered all the good times I had playing guitar; playing in a band, writing music, all the songs that I had learned to play throughout my youth. Floods of memories and emotions flooded my consciousness. I decided to go outside to the back yard so I could be around nature again. My backyard is surrounded by bushes and trees and I seemed to be aware of their consciousness. Being aware of their consciousness I came to the conclusion that every living thing has a spirit. The thing is, as human beings we tend to associate a spirit as something with humanly characteristics (thoughts, emotions, languages, human body, etc.). But I realized that a spirit is just a consciousness and a certain energy. Energy is neither created nor destroyed, which means that the spirit and our souls are eternal. Everything that has life is alive because a spirit inhabits it. Everything is alive. The earth, the plant around me, the moon….everything has a spirit and a consciousness. Everything is aware of me just as I was aware of it. We are all one consciousness and we are eternal.

It’s easy to say things like this, but it’s another thing when you actually see it and feel it in front of your face and you're just awe struck and in amazement at these revelations. Just like God is eternal so are we. I knew god at that moment. Not the God that Christianity or western religion has us trying to believe in (some kind of sky person sitting on a throne, with humanly characteristics and emotions such as vengeance and anger). I knew God at that moment had to be a spirit, with the same characteristics as all spirits. God is a divine, eternal energy that allows all things to have balance/harmony and to exist (a frequency that holds all things together, the frequency of love). To assign God humanly characteristics is to be very egotistical, like if we were the greatest thing in the universe! I started thinking about reincarnation for minute. If our spirit is eternal, then we shouldnt be afraid of death because our time here is very short in compared to eternity. Time is just an illusion, a trap so we can hurry through our physical lives here and waste it.

I started thinking that we should be grateful for the human form that we’re in now. We are spirits living a 'humanly existence'. If there is reincarnation, then our consciousness/spirit could be reborn in anything including a tree. Some trees live hundreds of years. They don’t move around. They stay in one spot. They can’t travel, move around, see new places, make changes in their existence or defend themselves. They just ARE. Imagine being powerless but conscious for hundreds of years! The plants must envy us to some degree yet their energy is pure and they can teach us alot. While being in human form during this experience we have total freedom of what we do with our life and existence in this plane as a human being. We should be appreciative for the simple fact we can even move a finger if you think about what it would be like to be a thousand year old tree! We should be appreciative of being incarnated as a human being, and if there is nothing special after we die then that means we only have one shot to live how we want and be happy which makes it even more special.

I noticed that all the plants in my yard had a more three dimensional look to them. I could see past the plants in front of me and beyond into the stars. I sat in the backyard and started singing a shaman song “ayahuasca mamacruna, cura cura espiritu, cura cura cuerpecito” and then the DMT kicked in precisely at that moment. I was in zen for a moment, total bliss. I closed my eyes and was welcomed into the trip by the most amazing, complex kaleidoscope of celestial machines. That’s the best way to describe it. A constantly changing, evolving vortex of geometric patterns in bright colors of red and blue. I wasn’t scared. I felt welcomed. Eventually an all seeing eye came and welcomed me and reassured me that everything would be fine. I felt love for my life and everything and everyone around me. The universe is connected through energy and frequencies. We are one. Everything is one! I was approached by 1 or 2 spiritual entities that were observing me. I was aware of them and they were aware of me. I couldn’t see their outlines too well but I knew they were there and there was nothing but acceptance and love between us for a moment. The clouds were racing across the sky and with my imagination I could see different shapes and spirits in them. Kind of like when I was a kid. They left and I went back inside the house and put on shaman music. I lost myself in the song and could hear everything in the song. The shaman was singing and it seemed like his maraca was also and it had a soul as well. Everything was perfect and was going to be ok. The song was for me and the energy coming from the music was for me and healing. Every cell in my body felt like it was in harmony with the shaman song and I was being healed and cleaned on every molecular level. In the background of the song I could hear people walking around and somewhere in the distance a jaguar growled in approval. I could almost see it.

After listening to music for a while, the visuals went away and I still felt zenful and peaceful. I picked up my guitar again and started playing again. I recorded myself. Listening to it sober now, some parts sound sloppy but that’s OK. I had fun and my inner child who I had suppressed for so long had come out to play. I felt cleansed and new. I shared my experience with my mother and I felt grateful to be able to do that as well. The experience of ayahuasca is comparable to if your soul was a USB flashdrive with limited memory and the universe is a supercomputer with unlimited knowledge/storage. The DMT allowed me to plug into this unlimited knowledge temporarily. Since I'm only able to retain so much information, I can bring back bits and pieces of this sacred knowledge every time I plug in. Truly amazing experience. Thank you ayahuasca.

[Reported Dose: "100 grams of caapi 20 grams of chaliponga 5 grams of mimosa hostilis"]

Exp Year: 2012	ExpID: 95133
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 27
Published: Oct 29, 2020	Views: 1,299
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