DOSE:

75 mg

IV

Heroin

(liquid)

BODY WEIGHT:

110 lb

[Erowid Note: The doses described in this report are potentially life threatening. The amount taken is beyond a heavy dose and could pose serious health risks or result in unwanted, extreme effects. Doses such as this have been known to cause hospitalizations and/or deaths. Sometimes extremely high doses reported are errors rather than actual doses used.]
My fascination with drugs began when I was very young. It was a dark taboo, something I wanted to try so badly even though I simultaneously held the belief that they were bad and shouldn't be trifled with. When I was ten or eleven I found my mother's copy of BUZZED and sat down to read it. What I discovered amazed me - a menu of literally hundreds of different ways to feel something new. I was intrigued.

I eventually began smoking pot when I was thirteen and tried several other drugs including acid, coke, shrooms, vicodin, etc.. About six months ago I was blazing at the house of someone I'd never met before when he said 'so who wants to bang?' I thought he was gay or something and felt really awkward, but then I saw him pull out a five needles and a pretty big bag of dope. I watched as he and the other three people in the room put the dope in the spoon, drew up warm water from the cup beside him, melted the dope down, dropped in a tiny bit of cotton and suck up the solution. They shot up and I heard sighs of pleasure and relief and all of a sudden I was curious. The guy whose house we were at looked at me and asked me if I wanted some. I said I'd never done it before, and he told me it was really nice and that he'd even hit me down. I said I was scared to overdose and he talked me down from that, saying he'd been doing it for years and that he knew what the good dose for someone of my bodyweight was. I agreed, and watched as he repeated the process with a quantity about two-thirds of what he'd done himself. I was anxious, my heart pumping fast, as he wrapped his belt around my arm and asked me to make a fist, then stuck the needle in my arm, drew some blood, and shot me up.

At first I felt nothing. I got off the bed and sat in a chair he was pointing towards. I thought I'd been cut, ripped off. Then it hit me. Oh god, I thought as I felt the tension gathering in my shoulders and for a second I had no idea what was going on. Suddenly my face felt hot and the warmth spread throughout my entire body, like someone had just poured bathwater under my skin. I felt like I was in the grip of a monstrous and continuous orgasm, but not sexually. Far away I heard someone say 'You like it?' 'Yeah, man...' I said vaguely. I was still coming up, and for an instant I panicked and thought I was overdosing, but the thought was instantly clouted by another wave of pleasure. It was infinite, transcendental bliss and comfort. I asked how much it was - he said $20 for a shot. Not bad, I remember thinking to myself. We had a fantastic conversation spanning everything from nihilistic existentialism to dystopian literature - the man was really intelligent and I enjoyed his company.

Around an hour in I started feeling nauseous. I thought it was nothing, that it would end, but the urge to vomit was spreading rapidly from my chest to my nose and I knew it was inevitable. I ran to the bathroom and emptied my stomach. The host came up behind me with a wet towel and began patting down my neck and back. I thanked him - it really helped. After I was done, I flopped down on the bed. I felt exhausted but somehow puking didn't ruin my high. It was just a part of it - a little snag in an otherwise majestically orchestrated symphony of peaceful relaxation.

Coming down was a lot like the moments following a climax stretched out over the course of an hour and a half or two. I was shaky and felt a little cold all the time, but it was really, really pleasant. I fell asleep a bunch of times, nodding off into a world of vivid waking dreams and fantasy. Everyone except the host and his girlfriend had gone home and it was just us, sitting doped out in front of the TV, zoning out every few seconds and waking back up with a jerk of the neck. It would have looked really funny to someone sober - three kids sitting on a couch and nodding all the time. When we were down they drove me home and said good night.

I woke up the next day feeling refreshed and rested. I was still in high school at the the time and I thought it was amazing how after four hours of sleep (I passed out at two, got up at six) I felt so awake. It was a little like the day after an acid trip; food tasted good, colors were vivid and textures like the denim of my jeans felt great on my skin.

Since then I have been an occasional user, shooting up around once every three or four days. Recently I moved to another country and can't find any rigs, but the heroin here is spectacularly cheap.

I happen to be a very well-motivated and secure individual but I can definitely see how using this drug can become something somone do all the time, and that's not good. Too much of something this spectacularly pleasant can stop being something one does for fun and more a way to feel normal and view reality as one pleases.

Exp Year: 2011	ExpID: 92447
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 18
Published: Sep 5, 2019	Views: 2,449
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Heroin (27) : First Times (2), Retrospective / Summary (11), Addiction & Habituation (10), Various (28)