DOSE:

3 hits

oral

Salvia divinorum

(extract)

BODY WEIGHT:

190 lb

I'm continually blown away by the great disparity in the types of experiences people have with psychedelics and Salvia D. in particular. I find it a terrifying indication of where my own subconscious or spirit or whatever you want to call it is at based on what was revealed to me when I tried this powerful entheogen which not only tore a hole in my universe, it transported me to a boxed in prison from which I couldn't escape and some entity that I could 'hear' telepathically and not see telling me, 'Everything you think you know is a lie-- THIS (I was looking at some undefinable geometric pattern that was completely solid and fixed) is the real universe.'

I railed against what I heard, tried to turn and found myself unable to get out or to help myself in any way. I was panicked. I was utterly helpless. I was sorry I'd had the audacity to look beyond the veil and glimpse the other side- the 'noosphere' as it were. All I wanted to do was get out and get back to the real world, but I somehow suspected that it really all had been dissolved as if at the snap of some powerful being's fingers. Finally, I was able to create some movement in myself, but I had to pass through the 'transition stage' back into the flesh. It's difficult to explain what this is like, but in a way it's like being buffeted by these intense waves of curving energy with a sound like a laser rifle out of a science ficiton flick powering up.

When I finally came back to my body, I took a shuddering breath the way a man would who'd been trapped under ice and finally found a hole. In no way was the panic and the fear over; in a way it was actually worse. I was halfway out of the birthing canal; my shoulders felt raw. I was utterly EXPOSED and in a way, ashamed. I tried to hide the evidence of the salvia and the pipe I'd used-- but from whom? I was alone. Yet I was convinced someone was going to find out. I was terrified that someone was going to see me. I dove under my sheets and tried to sleep, to get away from myself. I felt that if someone did find me and expose my deed (of seeing the other side?) that the godhead or the source of real negentropic power in this universe was going to change His/Her/Its mind and cancel physical reality.

Absolutely terrifying! And somehow such a valuable experience. The state of my soul is sick and I'm afraid to die. I'm afraid because we are in many aspects creations of ourselves, and I've created a prison for myself on the other side. I need to reach out to a broader reality. I need to reach out in love and create a bigger universe. There's so much work to do.

Exp Year: 2011	ExpID: 91965
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 30
Published: Jun 29, 2020	Views: 666
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Salvia divinorum (44) : Entities / Beings (37), Difficult Experiences (5), Alone (16)