DOSE: T+ 0:00	5 - 6	oral	Mushrooms - P. subaeruginosa	(fresh)
T+ 0:00	5 mg	oral	Pharms - Diazepam
T+ 1:30	5 mg	oral	Pharms - Diazepam
T+ 1:30	8 - 12 mg	oral	Pharms - Risperidone
T+ 0:00	repeated	oral	Mushrooms - P. subaeruginosa	(fresh)
T+ 2:30	5 mg	oral	Pharms - Diazepam
T+ 0:00	repeated	smoked	Tobacco - Cigarettes

BODY WEIGHT:

85 kg

Drug intake: Approx 300g (141 mushrooms) Psilocybe Subaeruginosa (hallucinogenic mushrooms)

4 May
8:00pm Ate 5-6 small mushrooms and had a Valium

9:29pm My mum was late coming home from work, I tried to call her but there was no response, I started to worry but reassured myself that everything was alright. I started to panic and had another valium (5mg) and took my respiradone (by this stage I didn’t know which day it was). I thought that my mum might have been in a car accident and turned on to a news channel to see if there had been any accidents. I couldn’t watch television for too long as I was pacing back and forth.

I had spent most of my time outside having cigarettes and was becoming more anxious but I could control my behavior varying from one extreme to another (violent, sadness, hopelessness, euphoria, manic laughing, soft talking).

9:45pm Mum finally came home, I was happy that she was back. I started talking to her and told her I was panicked about her not being home on time, as well as talking to her about the day out I had with my friend (whom I collected mushrooms with- obviously I didn’t tell my mum about that part).

8:13-10:33pm These are some messages that I sent to my friend when I was on mushrooms (note, some parts are incomprehendable so I have had to tried to decipher what I was saying):

---------------------------------------
8:13pm I just had 5-6 small ones then- I'm already starting to wind down. Oh, and I had a valium.

9:29pm Fuck the pages are warped, the keyboards breathing. Everything seems to be a good idea. I AM FEELING FUCKING FANTASTIC. I DON’T KNOW HOW MANY SHROOMS I've HAD. ALL THE MESSAGES ARE SCRAWLING BETWEEN EACH OTHER. BOY IS MY MUM IN FOR A TREAT WHEN SHE GETS HOME TONIGHT.

10:27PM SHES HOME FINE. I'm GLAD. I feel no in tune with nature, something I cannot do with computers. I've had a valium and I cant remember what I was supposed to write. It’s making sense now, like order. I’ve been eating sooo many mushrooms; I'm going insane and loving it. The keyboard looks at me as if it was confused.

It hits you like you would not believe. I'm beginning to become poetic, it’s brilliant. I will harvest these thoughts and you shall see them unpruned. I'm philosophical and incomprehendable. Trying to find some reality. I love to be out of touch, my mind ponders into depths where it shouldn’t normally go. I can pull away from it and accept it- man it’s getting real weird to type.

10:43pm Fuck I'm so excited, I need to slow down this deep dark untapped potential that only I can read. I think this is when we become tranquil with the word we… I cant explain it, its beyond words.

6 May
11:00 am I ate the whole fucking bag. All 141 shrooms. Including the bag. Fuck I had a psychotic episode, I'm just trying to put together what had happened. I spent all of yesterday in hospital, I could barely walk, my arms and legs became heavy, limp and weak. I was so weak that my mum had to dress me. The whole experience was fucked, but it was good. I’ll write up an essay of what happened soon.
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Wed
Time 10:35pm My mum came out to tell me that it was cold outside and that I should come in. She found me mumbling softly to myself and laughing manically. I stayed out for a little longer, continuing the conversation with myself.

11:30ish I had a shower and was cleaning myself vigorously, as if I were to cleanse myself.

There were a lot of moments of peace and tranquility, as well as dark thoughts and extreme behaviour throughout the night/morning.

I remember trying to call my mum on the phone as well as one of my friends, but by that time my eyes were darting everywhere, I had double vision and my eyesight was very blurry. During a few stages of the night it looked as though my vision was shattered.

There were a series of variations of hallucinations during the evening, including a long demonic face had razor sharp teeth, pointed jaw and spiked forehead- to me it was a representation of the face of fear and depression. Mushrooms were consumed throughout the night.

1:00 am I became detached from human convention and began to take off all my clothes (fuck convention was running through my mind).

1:30am Apparently I was eating cardboard, flowers and burning things in the bathroom.

Approx
2:00am There were clothes strewn all about the place in my bathroom, bedroom and front room. There was paper and pencils everywhere.

I had a vivid hallucination of bodies, giant hands and breasts all intertwined with each other. They were all red and slimy and were warping.

I started cutting up pieces of paper in the bathroom. It resembled a deep hatred towards my father.

I looked in the mirror, embracing my insanity. At one stage I thought I was the reincarnation of the Zodiac killer (an American serial killer who mainly targeted couples and left encoded messages for the police- I don’t think he was ever caught).

3:00am A deep hallucination. I thought I could see the process of evolution. I was exclaiming: ”IT ALL MAKES SENSE, IT ALL MAKES SENSE, ALL THE PIECES FIT I JUST DON’T HAVE THE KNOWLEDGE TO COMPREHEND IT.”

I wet myself on the floor of my bedroom as I could not make it to the toilet. My body was heavy and I felt incredibly weak.

4:00am I tried to roll a cigarette, but I couldn’t make out anything.

I became very primal and infantile, lying on the ground, kicking around like a baby lion in its sleep. I felt as if I were a cub who had lost its mother. I left limp and hopeless.

I was starting to get cold and tried to put some clothes on. All I could manage was putting a t-shirt which covered a portion of my leg and my privates, as well as one sock. I ended up wrapping a blanket around me.

5:00am My mum found me curled up in the fetal position on the floor wrapped in the blanket like a cocoon. She told me to go to bed.

8:30am All of my body felt weak and heavy. My mum had to dress me. I could barely walk. I had to crawl most of the time. I felt as if I were a baby learning to walk.

9:30am - 3:30pm In hospital, feeling tired

Exp Year: 2011	ExpID: 91278
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 29
Published: Jun 2, 2021	Views: 982
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Mushrooms - P. subaeruginosa (123) : Combinations (3), Multi-Day Experience (13), Train Wrecks & Trip Disasters (7), Alone (16)