DOSE:

2 hits

smoked

DMT

(powder / crystals)

BODY WEIGHT:

65 kg

An Introduction to DMT, a Glimpse

Before:
I had been looking forward to doing the DMT for a few weeks by now, and was happy that today was the day that I had planned. I had done quite a bit of research (I still feel as though it was enough, as nothing can reaaallly prepare you), had a very good setting, a good set which I was planning to make a bit better just beforehand. I woke up, had breakfast, did all the household chores I had been left to do that day, went for a walk with the dogs. Went to my room, and did the final preparations of set and setting. I had my blinds drawn, I lit an aromatherapeutic contraption (a candle beneath a sort of plate full of aromatic wax), put in on a stool (covered neatly with a multicoloured scarf - a nicesort of pedestal I thought), got into comfortable loose but warm clothes, and decanted about half a point of DMT into my glass bowl which I put on another stool/mini-table in front of my bed. I had a brightly patterned multicoloured shirt hanging on the back of my computer chair (better than the chair normally I thought).

After everything was ready, I was excited, my heart was going faster than usual, I was listening to music and got the feeling that I wasn't going to be able to completely peace out as much as I was thinking of doing, so I put on a two song playlist including the end of the song I was listening to and 'Shine on you crazy Diamond' by Pink Floyd. I sit down on my bed with a pillow behind me (back against the wall), and pick up the lighter. I hold it underneath the bowl, and my apprehension is shown by the fact that I don't light it yet, I try several different ways of holding it, and as soon as I hear the first sound of the song, I ignite the lighter.

Smoking:
I have a 10 cent coin over the mouth of the glass bowl which is getting more misty/smokey. I take it off and breath in in a slowish controlled rate, the smoke billows and there seems to be more of it when I pull on the pipe. The smoke is harsh, not like weed, a bit more hurty, like an ache in my lungs harsh. I hold my breath wondering, I think maybe for a second, when it's going to hit or if it's hit yet or something, and a millisecond later I know it has hit me. The way that everything is warps (feels, looks, sounds and tastes (I did get to taste my saliva, or the smoke, whatever it was it was different) and I would presume smell, but that wasn't as in my face, or didn't seem to be). Straight things become bent and tilted, the room and the air, reality, starts to warble, and vibrate, patterns twist and shift, it also seems as though the world is kind of tilting left and then right.

My body I would say now felt maybe as though it had been filled with some sort of energy, but at the same time I felt powerless, as though every part of me was hyper sensitive to feeling, and I think I was shaking a bit by that point. I breathe out and try to smile, and after maybe a second? (time is a little fuzzy) I close my eyes because the world is confusing the look at, it makes me feel weird, not quite sick, but weird. As I close my eyes, the feeling of the breath being exhaled from my mouth adds to the feeling of reality flowing away, dissolving, into a swirl of meaning and feelings. Smiling gives a positive push to the trip, but I am not completely immersed in the other world, so while it gives me a sort of whoosh of goodvibes, it's as though our world is still distracting me from the other world, and is pulling me back. The things I saw with my eyes closed didn't seem to have a huge impact on the trip as a whole, there was no logical connection between them and the things I was thinking/feeling, though I think I may have had one good push of happiness while seeing something with my eyes closed, the most impact it could have had was really me knowing that I was hallucinating with my eyes closed, and then the rest was more kind of mental sensations.

Keep in mind this is the first time I've done this substance (so far) and it is a new experience, and an intense one, so my mind was not unbelievably clear about really, anything much at all. It's a blur remembering it, and I don't think it can have been more than 20 minutes ago. When I close my eyes, it's as though there is a surface, like a chessboard but not in squares, and not in black and white, but in colours and in a really complex pattern(s) that I can't get my head around, I can't say what they were, both from lack of memory and also from the complexity of the pattern, this chessboard also tilts to the side and reveals a black space. I cover my eyes with my hands to block out our world, but the chessboard disappears. I see a few lights, like stars I remember thinking, and there may have been something else, very faded, not clear at all, as though it was ethereal, and for some reason I think it may have been (don't hold me to this, but I have this feeling) the shape of a baby, the same sort of thing you'd see if you were looking into the womb (sorry if this sounds cliche, I'm just trying to remember, DMT makes this entire world seem cliche, and all our languages, shallow and insufficient).

Anyway, for now forget the baby, or not baby, or thing, because it didn't captivate my attention or have a large impact on the trip. I opened my eyes a few times throughout the trip, probably because it was my first time so I might have been a bit impatient with closing my eyes, I wanted to see how things were going in our world and the visuals with eyes closed were not very bright, I wasn't totally immersed in the other world, it's more as though I got to see a little tiny glimpse of the sort of place it could be. I took another hit at some point, a reasonable sized one, probably not quite as big as the first, but a bit of billowing of the smoke nonetheless. All previous things mentioned intensified and I closed my eyes, I don't quite know what I was seeing but I would say it most resembled the chessboard from before, except possibly closer and more bright (a pattern in which a sort of a bright-ish red stood out), while closing my eyes (I think it was this time) I felt good while smiling, I felt a little bit as though the place I was in held all that mattered and was important and I felt happy, I sort of chuckled/dry sobbed in happiness for a second or maybe two. I didn't stay with my eyes closed for very long, for all reasons mentioned above. I felt as though my ego was slipping a little bit, I was getting further away from 'me' as far as my body went at least, and I'd say a little bit in the mind as well because of some now hazy thoughts that crossed my mind while trying to analyse the situation, though there still was an 'I', it felt more distant, it's hard to explain to say the very least. When I opened my eyes that time, I felt quite put off by our world, as though it was a distraction or fake, a bit shallow like I said before, meaningless compared to this new world.

Doing DMT cast a contrast for me between our world and the world I got a little glimpse of. A thought that came out of the experience was that 'it's as though this world is full of 'stuff', and the other world has no 'stuff'. But our world compared to that world has so little meaning in it. Whereas that world is purely made out of meaning (emotions and feelings) made manifest into maybe things that you see or maybe hear...' I heard no voices, I think I needed to go deeper to experience that because my ego was still mostly intact.

I was amazed, while looking at our world and marvelling upon this other world, by this contrast and thought about the weirdness and possibly sadness (I'm not sure which feeling, and it feels disrespectful when trying to explain it because pretty much everything about our language is so shallow in meaning and the people we're talking to probably just won't get the idea) of the process of attaining this world and this meaning, within our world. I guess I felt a little bit as though the other world always existed, but I felt a little bit of a 'look at the lengths we have to go to to experience something so meaningful' sentiment. I felt as though the glass pipe in front of me and the lighter and the rest of the point that I had, just didn't do the experience justice in one bit, in the same way that I guess I kinda felt that this world didn't do living justice (lol, weird but hey) or didn't represent the emotions and meaning contained within this world justice.

I was shaky while I was coming down, pretty much my whole body was trembling, I got up after a little while (but still a little bit under the influence) to look in a mirror, my pupils were fairly dilated, even though I was muuch closer to sobriety than before. What I would take from this is that, first and foremost, DMT is a very strong substance, really do some research, figure out as much as you can about what you're getting yourself into. Personally I wouldn't say at the moment that psychedelics put me in an actual different universe that exists in the same way that our world exists. I would say that they put me in a different universe that exists in the mind, and allow me to experience life in a different way, they can allow me to draw conclusions from things that I normally wouldn't, or think about things in a different way (I'm talking about while I'm coming down or afterwards with with my experience). But I have found so far that all the conclusions that I actually have come to have been things that I already was aware of, but didn't think about in the same way, or wouldn't have explained the same way, or wouldn't have felt about the same way before having had the trip. For example this trip brings home to me the superficiality of materialism, the commercialisation of everything, and the personal opinion that what really matters to me more than anything else, are the things in this world linked to emotion (family/relationships/love, having fun, feeling at peace, being happy). Note: this does not mean I'm going to start doing heroin because it will make me feel good, that's really not what I'm saying, though I do believe that using certain substances in a reasonable way can be a worthwhile use of one's time. Moderation in all things.

I have the familiar psychedelic feeling of looking on the world with (VERY) fresh eyes, I was looking forward to that, I feel peaceful. Personally I do want to do DMT again, but I don't know quite when. When the time is right I think :) I agree also with what another report said which was that smiling helps, preparing oneself mentally beforehand (putting yourself in a good mood), trying to think of happiness and perhaps what it's meant to you, be happy, rejoice in your chance to try DMT, SMILE, relax? And enjoy :)

Exp Year: 2010	ExpID: 86229
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 16
Published: Aug 10, 2018	Views: 2,061
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DMT (18) : Alone (16), Personal Preparation (45), First Times (2), General (1)