DOSE: T+ 0:00	1 tablet	oral	MDMA	(pill / tablet)
T+ 0:40	1 tablet	oral	MDMA	(pill / tablet)

BODY WEIGHT:

135 lb

Although I had been a casual user of weed and alcohol for a few years, I had never experienced anything close to what I did last night when I took ecstasy. I had been curious about the drug for some time, and figured the upcoming electronic music festival (read: rave) at the San Francisco Cow Palace would be the perfect place to experiment with it. The people I was going with didn't want to try it, but were supportive and promised to be there if anything happened to me. Although my closest friend (we'll call her S) was drinking, her brother and sister were going sober, so I felt comfortable that I would have a safe experience. I had bought two pills from a trusted friend earlier that day, planning only to take the first. I popped it during the car ride over at about 7:15 pm. Upon arriving at the Cow Palace a few minutes later, we realized that the will call line extended across the whole length of the parking lot. We had VIP tickets so we got to skip the second line, but I was worried that the E would kick in while I was waiting in line. A tedious 40 minutes passed until we finally got our tickets, and I wasn't feeling much. I was worried my friend had given me weak pills.

As soon as we entered the arena I was instantly overstimulated, taking in the spectacle of 20,000 people bouncing in unison to the swelling bass as neon lights played across the crowd. It had been almost an hour without any unusual sensations, so I took the other pill. Filled with the intense desire to dance, I dragged S into the pulsating crowd. The beat coursed through my body and I felt an incredible sense of release and satisfaction. After about 30 minutes of nonstop dancing, we moved up onto one of the VIP platforms. I was starting to feel as though I couldn't stop dancing no matter how hard I tried. This idea was exciting to me, as I was hoping that was the E. I did not feel the expected euphoria yet, and was slightly disappointed. Instead of worrying I let myself go, completely surrendering my body to the beat. We danced for about four hours straight, stopping for quick water breaks. Everyone was into the music but I felt separate from the group, like I was connecting with the rhythm on a higher level and couldn't fight it. Ironically, I also felt as though I was in control of my brain the whole time. I had lost control of my body, but my mind remained lucid. The atmosphere itself produced a sort of high anyway, with the dazzling lights, throngs of sweaty ravers and pounding music. Maybe some of this was me feeling the E. I particularly enjoyed when the beat built and the whole arena held their breath in anticipation, then suddenly the bass dropped and everyone went insane simultaneously.

At about 12 everyone in my group wanted to leave, but I felt a new wave of sensation pounding through me. The world zoomed around me and everything was blurred and intensified at the same time. This was the real high: euphoric, stimulating, undeniable. I realized I was peaking and panicked slightly, as we were returning to S's parents house. These worries were hurriedly suppressed, however, as I was filled with an overwhelming sense of peace. I was in love with the world; everything that existed was perfect and wonderful. My companions laughed at me as I ranted about how much I loved everything and everyone on our way back to the car, as I was unable to adequately describe what I was experiencing.

I found a fleece sweatshirt in the backseat of the car and was immediately overcome with happiness, running the soft fabric over my face and body. I marveled at the luxurious leather interior, S's silky hair, my own shoes. Everything was beautiful and marvelous, how had I not appreciated it before? More techno was pounding on the stereo and I felt incredible. This was the first time I noticed my teeth grinding, so I took a stick of gum. I would use up a whole pack within the next three hours.

When we arrived home S's parents were in bed, so I continued to touch things. The sensations intensified. Every time I touched something new it was like having sex. I was moaning in delight, rolling on the floor and rubbing my hands over the carpet and the wood floors. S was laughing, taking pictures and videos, but I was not embarrassed in the slightest. The world was too perfect for that. I decided to take a shower, which was pretty much the equivalent of a twenty minute orgasm. Afterwords, I stared at my reflection in the mirror, alarmed at the fact that my pupils were the size of golf balls.

By now it was about 2:30 am, and despite my active night I was not tired at all. I took S's ipod, blasted Benny Benassi, and proceeded to vigorously dance for another 30 minutes all by myself while S slept in the next room. This got me overheated again, so I had a glass of water and stripped down to my delicates. By 3 I felt my high beginning to descend, although I was still overwhelmingly content. My burst of energy had somewhat subsided, and I hoped that I would be able to get some sleep. As I made my way back to S's bedroom, headphones still on, I was startled by the sight of S's mother (who I had just met earlier that day) in pajamas. 'Who's thumping around up here?' I almost panicked, considering the fact that if my pupils were huge and I was thumping around at 3am in my underwear I was obviously on something. But the sense of calm endured. I made some excuse about not being able to sleep and hoped it was too dark for her to see my eyes. This seemed to satisfy her, and she made her way downstairs.

I quickly washed the sweat from my face before climbing into bed next to S. I made a weak attempt to spoon with her, but realized I was too hot. I closed my eyes and attempted to drift off.

I was in the most awkward place between asleep and awake. I was almost dreaming, but the visions were so real it was impossible to determine what was really happening. They weren't hallucinations, exactly, simply mundane, seemingly insignificant situations involving various people I loved and cared for. After a few sequences of these illusions I would jolt upright, usually waking poor S. I would rub her arm and mumble about my visions, then go right back into this dream world. The only way I ultimately knew that they weren't actually happening was when a few were about S, and then I would wake and find her sleeping next to me. Eventually I lapsed into a real state of sleep, waking just before 8AM. S got out of bed to get some coffee, but I was afraid that I would have an unpleasant crash if I didn't get enough sleep, so I slept in until almost 10. When I awoke I found myself still extraordinarily content, if not a little tired. Pleased that I was not depressed or anxious, I rushed down to the kitchen to recount the events of the night with S.

Perhaps the most profound part of my experience was the realization that everything is wonderful and beautiful in some way, but I had read about this in my research before trying ecstasy and this epiphany came as no surprise. Two aspects of my experience continue to perplex me. One was the timescale, as most sources indicate that the peak occurs about 20-60 minutes after taking the pill. I only mildly felt the effects after an hour and fifteen minutes, and by the time I reached the climax of my high about four and a half hours had elapsed. The second source of confusion was the strange dreams I had; what were they and why did they feel so real? They were not trippy or special, like one would expect a true hallucination to be. They were as ordinary as they could be. Upon considering this, in combination by the general wonder that ecstasy influences, I realized the true thing I learned from my experience was to appreciate the seemingly mundane objects and events that we observe in our day to day lives. From this conclusion I can definitively say that MDMA has changed the way I see the world.

Exp Year: 2010	ExpID: 85640
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 17
Published: Sep 13, 2013	Views: 6,449
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