DOSE:	15 - 30 mg	oral	Pharms - Mirtazapine	(daily)
	10 seeds	oral	H.B. Woodrose	(ground / crushed)
	1 hit	inhaled	Inhalants - Nitrites

BODY WEIGHT:

150 lb

I have used HB woodrose twice. I have decided to abandon this drug, at least for now, due to the heavy physical effects (nausea!!) and lack of psychedelic reward (although there was some). Despite the general success of my first experience, the second exposure left me nauseous for 24 hours , and screwed up my GI function for a few days afterwards, and so I will move on to other, hopefully better, psychedelics (RCs).

Important: Crushing the seeds thoroughly seems to induce more nausea at first, but kept me from being nauseous for like a day afterwards.

FIRST EXPERIENCE
Before I start, I would like to emphasize that I was taking mirtazapine daily (30mg/night, at this time) for depression (mostly). This affected my experience. One hour after taking the mirtazapine (I had ingested the HB woodrose a couple hours earlier), I started tripping (no visuals, just the mental/emotional effects). It completely turned my experience around.

Time of experience: 2010 March 12-13 (Friday-Saturday), 20:00-03:00
Place: College, my dorm, mostly in my room
Acute exposure: 10 HB Woodrose seeds (approx. 1 gram), mostly sanded, chewed thoroughly
Chronic exposure: Mirtazapine 30mg/day, taken at night, at 22:00 on night of experience

I became sick about 30 minutes after ingestion. I felt very ill. I tried to vomit, but couldn't. I seriously thought I might die. I even inhaled some alkyl nitrite to treat possible cyanide (cyanogenic glycosides) poisoning. I also produced FEROCIOUS gas. Not very much of it, but the smell was appalling. The nausea was the worst though. In addition, I experienced heavy vasoconstriction, which made my limbs very sore; painful to bend. Walking was difficult. I took my daily mirtazapine (30mg) at 22:00 (t+2h). Mirtazapine is a powerful antiemetic. I think it may have helped with the nausea somewhat, but more importantly, it catalyzed a wonderful and productive experience.

The euphoria hit at 23;00 (t+3h). At this point, I suddenly knew I was going to be ok. I was moving around a bit, preparing to attempt sleep. Maybe this helped. Over the next few hours, I wrote several pages of prose about the world, and then I focused on myself. I enjoyed psychedelic understanding, empathy, and emotional perfection (although an anxiety chain reaction almost occurred when I paid a little too much attention to the continuing nausea, but I kept my cool). This psychedelic is difficult to deal with, and very unpleasant in a lot of ways (nausea, vasoconstriction, gas, etc.) I learned a lot, and I think I have benefited significantly from the experience via a change in perspective and association of intense feelings of understanding with things I knew but somehow could not understand (like, 'work hard now, you'll be happy later'). I am depressed now (hence the mirtazapine), and no matter what I do, whether I work hard or not, I will be miserable. But perhaps 10 years from now I will be neurochemically capable of happiness. I should spend my time preparing for that, rather than trying to experience happiness right now. I understood things like this. The potential benefits of this state are unfathomable. I had a great afterglow the next day, too (peace, serenity, empathy).

The second experience falls clearly into the realm of absolute shit. I was on 15mg of mirtazapine daily at this point. This time, I simply bit down on the seeds (after sanding them), and then swallowed them with water (00:00 [midnight]). The human stomach can't deal with this sort of material, but if it's crushed up nice and fine, it'll just go through you. It took my GI system days to clean out the seed chunks (I actually saw pieces of seed amongst my feces). Anyways, at first I got mild psychedelia, but three hours later, the nausea had begun. I went to bed nauseous (at 03:00, t+3h). I woke up at 05:00 and puked what was in my stomach. It came out my nose, and was very acidic. Awful. I was sick for all the next day. I won't be repeating this, at least, not for many years.

Exp Year: 2010	ExpID: 84793
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 19
Published: Apr 18, 2020	Views: 3,645
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Pharms - Mirtazapine (311), H.B. Woodrose (26) : Difficult Experiences (5), Depression (15), Combinations (3), Alone (16)