DOSE:

sublingual

Salvia divinorum

(extract)

BODY WEIGHT:

170 lb

This is a bit of a retrospective on Salvia, as I sense I'm drawing near the end of my explorations with it. But first a note on my proposed report title 'Grounded in the Cosmos.' It's a play on the title of Walker Percy's book 'Lost in the Cosmos: The Last Self-Help Book.' To wit:

I strongly suggest, based on many reports I've read, and on my own recent experiences, that the potential Salvia explorer be thoroughly grounded (settled, firmly established, unshakeable) in his concept of himself and his place in the universe.

To give a point of reference, I'm a Baby Boomer (to help you place my age and generation) and a lifelong conservative (mostly) Christian with a rather intellectual/philosophical, introspective way of looking at life. Books like Percy's--also others C.S. Lewis and Peter Kreeft (a great admirer of the other two authors)--over the years have helped to re-mold my understanding of Christian truth and faith and the bearing they have on life in the modern (read, 'post-modern') world. So despite (or maybe through) times of crisis, I've managed to find a pretty firm understanding, if not always answers I can articulate, to questions like: Who am I? Why am I here? Why is ANYTHING here? What should I be doing about all this?

That's the kind of grounding I mean in my proposed title, and suggest as a prerequisite for explorations of altered states of consciousness.

Why, you might ask, would a conservative Christian try drugs at all? A tentative answer: I have a deeply inquiring nature; a strong conviction of the insufficiency of materialism (in the philosophical sense, not the economical one) as a mode of understanding; and a broad sense of Christian freedom; thus, for me, the desire and freedom to explore come easily. However, being also persuaded that earthly law does have valid claims on my behavior, it was important that whatever I chose as an exploratory aid should not be illegal. Having a family I also wanted something with a very low physical risk. Salvia seemed to fit the bill. It also has, of course, a long association with spiritual exploration in some Native American cultures.



This, my 5th Salvia encounter, was my largest dose so far. I have enough left for one more time, perhaps my last--since this one was so fulfilling.

Before starting out I put on a soft recording of traditional English hymns and pipe organ. I also darkened the room.

As I held the dose [3.5 droppers sublingual] under my tongue, listening to the music, I sought a relaxed, worshipful, openhearted state of mind and spirit, and prayed for protection and general forgiveness. This for me is key, since it lifts from my heart any anxiety about either the outcome or myself.

When I started to feel a little woozy (about six minutes) Then I swallowed. Within another 5 minutes the experience was well under way, and I laid back to interact with it, eyes shut. (By the way, my dog was sitting with me and I found his friendly presence very comfortable all through.)

I gradually had lost any sense of physical orientation, though I could still feel things around me. Though a pretty self-conscious person, my awareness turned strongly outward into Salvia-land and my own self seemed to become much less the center of my thoughts. I was definitely still in control, though--the slightest extra willpower to pull things back almost to 'normal.'

I had no sense of the rate of time passing. Now and then the dog would nuzzle or lick me, but whether seconds or minutes or hours were transpiring in between, I could not then tell; I did retain an awareness of sequentiality, though dimly. I also got a very strong erection which was perhaps the longest-lasting effect. Yet I was unaware of any erotic component through the experience.

From the state of maximum effect I can recall only one experience with any clarity. Even though what follows may sound vivid, the visual experience was actually pretty subdued. I also had a calm assuredness that a moment's effort would bring me back to the usual world, that what was happening was pure imagination.

I (or my head, I wasn't sure which) was a softly glowing white disk (about hockey puck size), a node in a vast matrix of similar nodes stretching away as far as could be perceived. Interconnecting the disks was a grid of pale, thin green lines. The grid lines seemed continuously, slowly flowing and shifting as though some well ordered yet highly complex mathematical transformation(s) were being applied to them. The space that everything occupied seemed to permit more interconnectedness than a merely three or four dimensional space.

There was a peaceful sense of joy pervading everywhere. I briefly saw shadowy human-shaped things at the nearer nodes, and I realized then that these disks were representations of angels and the souls of men living and dead, moving about in a vast celebration. I was grateful to be among them, yet aware that if I desired I could withdraw from the Salvia-vision.

As I began to leave Salvia-land a bit later, I saw the obvious parallel between that experience and the 'Great Dance' of C.S. Lewis's 'Perelandra.' I opened my eyes and drank in the cool, quiet darkness of the room for a while. I also noticed that the dog had left. It was probably time to get to bed, I decided. I couldn't quite understand the reading on the numberless face of my analog watch, but knew that not more than 15 minutes had passed (turned out it was more like 10).

I went to the stereo to turn it off, but fumbled with the controls, unable to tell which was which for a moment or two (due partly to darkness, but moreso to still being halfway in Salviadom. Trial and error led me to the right ones, and then I went up the stairs to the bedroom.

I dozed off for a few minutes before my wife got out of the shower (she'd started AFTER I took the dose, and doesn't take long showers). I can recall that in the interim I had some very vivid and perhaps bizarre dreams, but not their details. When she came to bed I rolled over to kiss her, and made a few intentionally goofy remarks (I do that a lot anyway, but the Salvia after-effects helped with spontaneity)--some of them erotic. She was quite 'tickled' and very pleasant caresses and kisses followed; but it was 'the wrong time of the month' so that was (sigh...) all.

This wraps it up. I did have more vivid dreams after returning to sleep, and seemed to feel a residual aura of some kind even when I awoke for work after a short sleep. Yet I was also clear-headed and tranquil.

What does it all mean? For me, it's like a reminder that though on the cosmic scale I am infinitesimally small, I have a real place in the grand design of things. If the matrix of Creation lacked a single one of its points it would be incomplete; and the joy God takes in it (and it in Him), though still unbounded, would yet be diminished.

Exp Year: 2001	ExpID: 8341
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jul 27, 2004	Views: 1,277
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Salvia divinorum (44) : Alone (16), Entities / Beings (37), Mystical Experiences (9), General (1)