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From Euphoria to Depression in a Second
Cocaine
Citation:   J. Nixson. "From Euphoria to Depression in a Second: An Experience with Cocaine (exp76033)". Erowid.org. Feb 22, 2010. erowid.org/exp/76033

 
DOSE:
1 g insufflated Cocaine (powder / crystals)
BODY WEIGHT: 250 lb
I was just a snot nosed kid, age 16, at the time. I had already been smoking pot regularly for almost a year, along with some prescription uppers and downers from time to time. I did all of this with my best friend, I'll call him Jim for privacy's sake. Now Jim has always been one for experimentation, and he has a tendency to go way over board at times. He is friends with just about every dealer in town and we joke about how he 'ruined my life' because if it wasn't for him I wouldn't be writing this story or even know anything about the drug culture. He wanted something new, something more exciting then our regular burners. That's when he started talking about the Coke.

Now before I begin the real story, I have to say that this technically wasn't my first time. A few weeks earlier I had taken one small bump with Jim and his dealer, then went to a girls basketball game. But I really didn't feel much. Jim however had definitely gotten high and wanted to do it again bad. So eventually he coaxed me into giving it a full on go.

Now in the town where I live every fall there is a music festival down at this park not too far from my house. Jim decided to get 2 grams of some of the purest blow this town has ever seen, at 90 bucks a gram. The bluegrass and folk was in full swing when Jim and I wandered off into the woods to do the deed. We bumped all the coke off cards, cursing every time we would spill a little, until it was all gone. I didn't feel anything at first, but as we started walking down the path back towards the music I could feel it take hold of me. The sun had never shone brighter and the warm wind tickled my skin. A wild grin stretched across my face as I walked across the festivities to a park bench. I felt the euphoria course through my veins. I began to have profound thoughts of universal truths, I remember shouting to Jim 'I have found the keys to the Universe!' What these truths were though, I can't remember (I got to cut down on the pot). I took off my shoes and the feeling off the grass under my feet was nearly orgasmic. This whole time I had been snapping my fingers, constantly, a nervous tick that I couldn't stop no matter how hard I tried. People would give me odd looks as I would scuttle by snapping my fingers wildly and spouting out crazed mumbles from my mouth. But in all it felt so amazing that my words can't do it justice.

About over an hour into it I came down... hard.
It all happened so fast, one second I was on top of the world, invincible, alive. Then in literally a second, JUST LIKE A SINGLE SNAP OF THE FUCKING FINGERS, instantly, I wanted to die. The depression was overwhelming, as if all the joy in life had been sucked clean out of me. I could barely handle myself going from drug induced bliss to an instantaneous feeling that I can only describe as my soul shredding itself apart. I had to run to a empty baseball bench so no one would see me cry. I laid there crying, contemplating suicide and what comfort I could find in a quick death. Jim came over and tried to console me, but it was no good, I just wanted to be alone. Everything wrong with my life seemed to bubble up and amplify in mind. I sat crying off and on for about two hours, until I was myself enough again to talk to others. But the ordeal certainly left me shaken for a couple of days afterward.

As I look back on it now, I'm actually happy with the way things turned out. I was so taken back by the whole experience that I swore off coke for good. Something Jim had a lot more trouble doing. I've witnessed him battle with the white lady's grip first hand and it isn't pretty. Cocaine is a horrible drug, it's not worth it, ever! I say just stick to the green and you can't go wrong.

Exp Year: 2006ExpID: 76033
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Feb 22, 2010Views: 9,118
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Cocaine (13) : Small Group (2-9) (17), First Times (2)

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