DOSE:

1 capsl

oral

Mescaline

(powder / crystals)

BODY WEIGHT:

145 lb

Before I can really understand why a trip has gone in a certain direction, I have to think about my past history, which has a great deal of sway over my mindset. I'll be 21 this September of 2008, and since I was about 16 or 17 I have steadily become more and more interested in psychedelics. It all started out with a few aborts my friend Zeke gave me one night at a small party of about 15 or so in a small cabin in a quiet college town. I had read about psychedelics a great deal online, and was not actively seeking mushrooms but hoping a great deal to come in contact with them. I had even gone to the extent of picking poisonous mushrooms, and became intensely ill from eating them.

Why did I seek the mushroom? Well of course the visual aspect is very interesting, but as I have learned more recently it is better to just free my mind completely and not even focus upon those. Once the mind is clear, I am able to feel the love of something far, far greater than myself. The culture of the hippie area had always interested me a great deal, because of their willingness to love and embrace everything and everyone around them, no questions asked.

Continuing with my drug history, after my first trip, which involved me seeing a beautiful floating orb of white light, I became even more interested in the mushroom, and more interested in other psychedelics. Eventually I met Colus, who became my greatest friend to date. We used psychedelics together a great deal, and even experienced telepathy and telekinesis in an LSD trip together, both witnessing the exact same thing at the same time. Earlier this year, Colus passed away in a fatal car accident. I have always had a history of having premonitions of sorts, a few examples being that of a building burning down, an explosion at a factory, and a couple months prior to Colus' death, a premonition that Colus would die. It was so startling that I immediately blew it off and refused to take it into further consideration, because if he did die then it would happen either way.

Last November, during our last trip together, we both started to break through to the other side. That feeling when I'm slipping between dimensions is absolutely breathtaking. My ability to feel bliss is what determines how far into these dimensions I can go. It seems as though between each dimension I go through these masks that I wear that disguise who I really am. The more of these masks I wear, the harder it is for my soul to breathe. When my soul can breathe, I feel truly in touch with everything and everyone around me. Our breath is just a basic example of the flow of the universe, and how everything is constantly changing. It is when I learned how to control my breath, and travel into states as I choose, that I experienced bliss. This is what I have learned in my LSD trip, mushroom trip, and last night, my mescaline trip since Colus died. He did experience bliss before he died though, and I am to this day convinced, as are many of my friends, that Colus was here to plant a seed in each of our minds so that we ourselves could spread this seed to others, and help others come into contact with the bliss that they have just forgotten how to access. Meditation is a great way to find this bliss also.

The trip: Last night I consumed 1 capsule of mescaline. It was a white powder, looked like it was decent quality. I suspect it was a Trichocereus extract of some sort, but I could definitely be wrong as the only other mescaline containing substances I have taken are Peruvian Torch and San Pedro. Regardless mescaline is a very smooth drug. It feels so natural, and I feel one with all of nature. In my experiences with DMT, I feel as though I am taken to an alien existence, in a dimension far from our own, where the function of reality is truly complex. With LSD, I feel as though I am strung across the astral plane which is a very intense experience. With mescaline, I am riding a wave. If I so choose, I can manipulate this wave, and flow seamlessly through spacetime.

It is a magnificent experience. However, I must say it has been painful having my ego softened enough to where I am able to experience this other existence as much as I am, and I am very thankful and very blessed to have reached thus far in my trips. Admittedly I am no expert however, I am no Terrence McKenna nor am I Timothy Leary. The things these men must have seen and experienced and lived through fascinate me a great deal, I cannot even imagine how mentally solid they must have been.

3:30a
Ingested tablet with a bit of soda pop on an empty stomach.

4:15a
That same smooth mescaline wave is starting to creep up on me.

4:45-5:00a
Things have become rather wavy. There are beautiful neon colors flowing on the walls of green, pink, blue, purple and perhaps more. I have closed my eyes now, and am laying on the couch putting my mind in a meditative state.

5:00-11:00a
For the remainder of my trip, I focused on living without my body, and experienced the greatest bliss I have felt in this body. I was at the place I was at before I was born, which has become a bit more familiar to me the last few times I have tripped. It is a really beautiful place. This is the astral plane, but it seems so much different than when I am on LSD. Maybe this it not the same place after all. I am living in a dimension that I call home. How I ever forgot where I came from I do not know, but I promised the people there I would not forget, and I most certainly have not. I cannot see nor directly speak to Colus, but I know he is in this existence somewhere in some form doing what he was meant to do. I can no longer hold onto his death, as the tibetan monks say mourning the death will only distract the soul from reaching nirvana. I must feel happy for him, feel pleased that his soul is free. Feel happy that I am free, let go, experience the bliss that lies within if I simply live without the attachments of ego and body.

But it is hard to let go. But why stay? What is there to fear? The unknown? This is the only thing I have ever had faith in, my love for everything around me. Focus on that love, free my soul. I am visualizing my soul trying to more or less walk out of my body. I do not know how to walk in this form. When I try to open my eyes, they will not open. I feel as though I am in a dream that I am trying to gain control over. I remember. I remember how this is done. Babies don't know how to walk, but they find a way. I focused, and I began to struggle, wriggling out of my body and freeing the third eye. I continue to focus my mind on love, and rather than trying to walk, I learn another way to move my arms and legs. I'm not focusing my body, I'm focusing something else. I'm focusing my third eye.

Now I can see reality for what it is. We are on a plane and all of our paths are interconnecting, trying to form a greater net so that we can feel a greater presence once we are all united. I am removing my masks now. I am shedding my ego, remembering what is important to me. To lose the ego, I must realize that I am not the most important aspect of reality. I must learn to become the father, not the son. To become the father, I must become selfless, and learn to truly give myself to the rest of the world. Just give my love to everything around me at all times, that is all it takes. I am being reborn. I have shed my ego, and am now in an existence I seem to know from sometime long ago. It's so good to be back. For the remainder of the trip I spent as much time in this state as possible, realizing how perfect everything was, and simply trying to get to where I could steadily focus on that state and not lose it.

I feel as though I accomplished a lot in this trip, and look forward to accomplishing even more the next time around. This was an absolutely amazing experience, and it helped me let go of my friends death, love you Colus, I'll see you again soon.

Exp Year: 2008	ExpID: 73076
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jul 20, 2009	Views: 39,643
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Mescaline (36) : Relationships (44), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Mystical Experiences (9), Alone (16)