DOSE:

400 mg

oral

DXM

(liquid)

BODY WEIGHT:

82 kg

I am a 19 year old University Student, studying law, and my friends had first introduced me to DXM about a month prior to this experience. I had never tried drugs before and, being quite skeptical of something contained within legal cough syrup, had no way of knowing how amazing, inspiring and mind-opening an experience it could be. Before this particular night, my friends and I had consumed DXM about 5 or 6 times previously together. We usually had a standard dosage of 600mg (1 bottle of cough syrup), but this time we only had about 400mg each (at around 11pm on a weeknight), because we only had 2 bottles to split between 3 people. I can’t remember much of the night, as it was all a haze compared to the lucid dream I experienced at about 2am. But the dream forced me to confront my inner desires, my id, ego and superego, and re-evaluate my priorities in life. I will never forget this night for the rest of my life.

It was on that fateful night that I re-assessed my life, and I feel I conclusively put it in perspective. This led to a sudden, shock-epiphany that I didn’t want to be a lawyer at all! It was all thanks to my conceptualizations of Ancient Rome, really. And that lonely, love-stricken Roman soldier who I was for apparently only minutes, yet it seems now like I was for years.

It all started in the trip room. We had at the time a system for DXM tripping whereby two persons would sit out in the living room, in darkness, discussing whatever came to their minds, while the third person tripped to their music in the trip room, taking however long they needed to experience what they needed or wished to, alone. It was a totally black spare room we had set up, devoid of light, where imagination is the only limits to one’s self-reality. Bearing this in mind and on a mission to sink into the subconscious of my mind in an effort to gain a better understanding of myself, I lay my body down upon the welcoming mattress, placed my earphones in my ears and clicked my mp3 player on. It was the soundtrack to the movie ‘Braveheart’ that led me deep into the vivid horizon of a lucid dream I won’t soon forget.

I sank into the music, emotionally, and let my instincts and psychological digressions lead the way. Perhaps, for some reason, University on the day had etched certain concerns into my mind. Perhaps it a regression of fond memories and teachings from my high school Ancient History classes. For whatever the reason, I awoke in a scene slightly unusual but nonetheless, and puzzlingly, a scene which felt almost comfortingly familiar. I recall it with a breathtaking clarity: dimly lit candles lined the stone and marble walls, the soft, breezy rustling of the garden outside 4 large windows was augmented by the distant pacing of Roman sentries protecting my villa, and a stunning woman whose features were not immediately visible but nonetheless whose aura felt warm and comforting lay beside me in a large, accommodating bed strewn with silk sheets. Instantly, I smiled, and knew she was my wife (which was strange, as I don’t actually have a wife or girlfriend at this time). I suddenly, quite unbelievably, felt at home here; what’s more, I felt at peace with myself and the world around me – not a sensation that I’m particularly accustomed to, but something that I’ve always desired with every inch of my being. I was home.

My wife turned and whispered to me, something along the lines of, ‘you’re here,’ and kissed me softly. Here was a fantasy that somehow I had found myself inhabiting, but it was alive, and it was no less real than the air I breathe in everyday life. And her presence and affection comforted me in a way that nothing else could. Here was everything that I loved, and believed in, coexisting. The dream took an even more intense turn where communication was beyond verbal and I could communicate with my Roman world, and my wife, through my mind. It emanated peace. The sentries were irrelevant, simply ornaments placed within the setting by my mind to give the illusion of reality in the timeframe I inhabited. Peaceful relations, the possibility of future children and the love of this simple wife were all I desired in life.

Interestingly, at this point my intellectual reasoning kicked in and the dream encountered a convincing twist. This reality had been there from the start. If only it wasn’t for the Punic Wars, I could’ve continued a life on the land, toiling the crops, looking after my beautiful wife and raising fine young Roman children. But it was not to be. I would be called to military service in the morning, raised from the loving hands of my wife and thrust into the battlefield in shining red armour, an unwilling participant in the bloody business of war and death. Perhaps this was inspired by the soundtrack I was listening to, but I'm not entirely sure.

And as my wife turned to me in the bed in concern, massaging my head and reassuring me, I started to cry. I didn’t want to leave her here alone, unable to fend for herself. I wanted a simple and good life for my family, not to be marched off to the business of death the next day, to become simply another Roman casualty, forgotten by history and with the help of the carrion birds, removed from this world within the week. I desired nothing but to be left alone with my family; alas, the troops were marching in to conscript me into the Legion on the following day. My wife was well aware of this; she tried to comfort me and tell me it was okay, that I would be okay. And she would survive. Still in tears, I kissed her very passionately and hugged her, for what felt like forever. I never wanted to let go.

All throughout this dream, the soundtrack had been playing, and all of a sudden, as if at the perfect time, it ended and I realised where I was – in the little trip room at my friend’s house. Puzzled, but in recalling what I had just experienced, positively enchanted, I proceeded to casually make my way out into the living area to inform my two fellow trippers of what had just taken place. In some ways I was kind of disappointed because I wanted to foray deeper into my mind, but at the same time I realised it was time for the dream to end.

I remember only small parts of the subsequent conversation that I engaged in with my friends to try and reason with and apply logic to my experience. Realisation led me to the ultimate re-assessment of my career options. I’d always thought I’d wanted to be a lawyer. While this ambition was not always motivated by economic means, the realities of the real world that are demonstrated through the tertiary degree had disillusioned me that much from the idealistic motivations that governed my motivation to study law had to give way to economic considerations because they were no longer consistent with the reality of studying it. That is, I was completely disillusioned with it and it no longer was compatible with my desires for my future life.

This experience allowed me to find the key to my inner desires, and taught me how to shelter them from the now-revealed incursions and restrictions that the real, capitalist world had placed upon my mind. If I learned any higher lesson at all, it is, put simply, that DXM has put my life squarely in perspective, and instead of worrying over mundane issues in everyday life, I can now sleep in contentment knowing what I want from a future career and where I should be, and how I fit into the huge place that we call planet earth. Long live DXM, and I hope on the day I die I can revisit that beautiful serene place in Ancient Rome.

Exp Year: 2008	ExpID: 70375
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 19
Published: Oct 16, 2023	Views: 38
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DXM (22), Dreams (85) : Glowing Experiences (4), Music Discussion (22), Entities / Beings (37), Relationships (44), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Small Group (2-9) (17)