DOSE: T+ 0:00	3.5 g	oral	Mushrooms - P. cubensis	(dried)
T+ 1:30	3.5 g	oral	Mushrooms - P. cubensis	(dried)

BODY WEIGHT:

175 lb

First off, the title is incomplete because it cannot be summed up with words to the slightest, nor does this story do a good job at telling what exactly happened to me. Not even my memory gives me a complete view of what happened, although its fresh enough for some words.

Some background on myself. I am a part-time survivalist and tracker. I was trained by Tom Brown in many skill areas and tactics. It has been an amazing experience working with him. I must note since I mentioned him, he has never advocated drug use besides tobacco, this was my own discovery many years before meeting him.

At least once a year, I take a week’s vacation from work and venture into a large Northeastern USA forest. I do this as an escape and return to Nature. I feel like that is where I belong, it’s where we came from.

I bring about a three day supply of food and water in case I have trouble finding it on my own. I always enter the forest from a place I never been to before. I packed seven grams of cubensis mushrooms, which I have experience ingesting about forty times. And finally my trusted non-folding knife, and metal bowl.

I arrive at 5 am. I conceal my vehicle with brush. I then set out to explore. It was a breezy refreshing morning, of about 8°C or 45°F. I walk around all day for miles. I didn't stop walking. I maintained my sense of direction and maneuvered through clearings, dense forest, steep hills, level terrain, swamps. Finally I found a small stream. I walked in about a half mile circle around the stream making sure this would be a resourceful place to build a hut. It was near perfect. I found a patch of dogbane which makes excellent cordage which I would need for the bowdrill. I was in the coniferous regions of the forest so I could eat pine bark and make tea out of the needles.

The first two days I spent building my debris hut and bowdrill. I found great tinder and kindling so finally, after getting a bunch of wood together and burning lots of calories with my arms, built a fire. It wasn't easy, which made the gift of fire that much more enjoyable. On the morning of day three, I had two days of food left since I chewed White Pine needles and bark in place of some meals. I now had a steady fire and a temporary bowl holder so I could heat and sterilize water as well as make needle tea.

I spent day three having fun. I stalked and tracked many animals after camo'ing myself with mud from the stream. I got very close to a fawn and almost could touch it. I saw raccoons, many birds, squirrel, and deer as well as identifying some fox tracks. As evening was approaching, I got the feeling it will be a good night for the mushrooms. I heard the crying howls of coyotes in the distance. I was hoping they would stay away.

I decided to eat half- about 3.5g, at ~1 hour pre-dusk. I hum a relaxing tune and give myself feelings of confidence and strength. I begin on a long walk after placing enough wood on the fire so it stays hot. A half hour later I felt them building well. I felt the energy through my body but not in my head much yet. At dusk I was about a mile from the fire wandering around looking for animals to watch. I saw what might have been an opossum but nothing else. I began to feel the mushrooms take a hold of my mind. I was getting insight and a strong sense of viewing myself mentally in the third person.

I walked back and could see the soft glow of the fire a half mile away through the pines. I finally made it back to my fire and laid down beside it. I meditated, concentrating on my breathing and clearing my head of fleeting thoughts. I felt like I was contacting a reality much greater than this. I began to feel amazing energy as the mushroom vibe was focused in precise ways that I felt my subconscious mind was controlling. I decided to eat the other 3.5g with not much thought. I consumed them and drank some cooled sterile water from my bowl. That had been my first drink of water in almost 8 hours, and it felt wonderful.

Strangely, less than a minute after consuming the rest (which I estimate was 90 minutes or so after eating the first), I heard thunder. I wondered if this was to be a strong test instead of a peaceful night with nature. I began to meditate again, not thinking of anything and humming a low tone. Images of blood and destruction started creeping in my head. I calmly resisted and told my mind to ease up, ignore these random flashes. I then saw clearly, with my eyes closed, a blob of string-like fibres that appeared to be some kind of evil doll, with black eyes which were way too close together. With this startling image sounded a screeching sound which made me jump up. I looked around and saw blurs of these dolls in the distance, up on a hill, along with the trees waving at me. I stared at the fire, calmly trying to take my mind off this evil presence I felt in my own mind as well as outside of it.

I was losing myself extremely rapidly as the second batch kicked in. I thought for sure that I had taken too much and was going to die, if not from overdose and this insane mind stimulation, it would be from something I did. I could no longer stay calm or sane. I heard deep dark voices and with them fantastically rich patterns and swirls. I can hardly describe them, but they bent and twisted with all colors as well as some I've never seen sober. Imagine pentagons and hexagons, and 50-gons in 3-D swirling around, leaving long bending trails of infinitely detailed repeating patterns. I was amazed but horrified as well. I kind of thought something along the lines of ‘no one can see this…since I must have died tonight because this is too fantastic.’ It wasn’t with words though, I lost all sense of language. Only concepts could register in my mind. Amazing electronic unworldly music burst through the woods. I have a hard time believing this could come from my own mind. I no longer recognized my surroundings. Even the fire had turned into a seething isolated part of reality with its own magic going on. Objects I can’t describe danced and chanted. The fire took on all colors, especially green. My hands were strange flippers of patterned flesh.

I crawled into my hut and took out my knife. I didn't know myself, I was just conscious of this unfamiliar world. I must have known it hadn’t been this way forever but I couldn’t remember anything else. I started to lose a sense of fear to be overtaken with a very strange feeling of emptiness. I was still overcome by the most insane sounds and visuals, mixing together into many other senses (which wouldn’t make sense if I tried to describe). This emptiness overtook my mind probably as a defense in response to all the stimulation. I came out of the hut and looked at the sky, there were so many colors, patterns, so many lizard like creatures which I felt connected with. I also saw evil things sort of like the doll from earlier. I grabbed my knife and yelled. I was trying to keep things away and make them fear me. I think I knew deep down what I was seeing wasn’t there, although I never really thought about it. But I knew things could be there which might be a threat. I heard distorted howls in the distance again.

There were a few loud thunder rumbles, which got morphed into something else entirely. It was a deeper sound with grey cubic patterns mixed with it, along with warped signals from my new senses. I knew something was coming. Concepts related to the sound popped into my head with strange musical jingles and cartoon images of lightning bolts and dark clouds.

I ran into the stream for a reason I’m not sure of. The sensations were mind-blowing, almost literally. Pain and tingling pressure can’t even begin to describe it. Extreme senses oozed into my consciousness. I don’t even have the capacity to remember exactly what it was like, but I know it sent me on an insane run through the woods. I took off my clothes and boots. Completely naked, I ran around screaming and yelling in joy, pain, pleasure, anger, and emotions only the shroomed mind could ever know.

I remember it raining and thundering, it was nothing severe but it was exaggerated by my twisted mind to be a catastrophic storm. The lightning flashes were really…mind-jolting. Too bad language is so weak describing these things, it is truly sad.

The rest is a blank. I woke up, or came to, in a fetal position covered in leaves a few minutes before dawn, feeling the coldest I've ever been. I was tingling numb everywhere and couldn't feel my naked body. I tried to yell but my mouth was dry. I slowly moved and looked for the fire. I didn't know where I was. Panic shot through me, and I knew I would die shortly. I closed my eyes and tried to hold back a tidal wave of horribly saddening panicked emotion. Then as the sun rose I could see my tracks. They were very erratic but I could see a direction they led to in the distance. I crawled towards them. I could not stand.

Finally after 15 minutes and a half mile desperate crawl, I made it to the fire and hut. I quickly put dried sticks on the warm coals. Soon I had a fire, and finally felt like a human after it warmed me with blissful heat. A fire never felt so heavenly before.

***

I spent day four in awe of what happened and how far I’d gone. This is by far the furthest I’ve ever gone on any substance. I tried to organize what happened, but it was too chaotic to be complete in a three page story. I am still recalling pieces, nine days later. Every time I got another memory I’d write it down.

The rest of my vacation in the woods went well. I tracked myself slowly over a few hours and gave up because I was running in strange spiral patterns that ran together. I wish I knew what was going on then. The fact that I don’t remember any of the last chapter (or encyclopedia, of mental events) indicates I was very far gone indeed.

I returned home and back to indulgences of living in society. Bed, fresh food and water, house, money, etc. But this is what I wanted to get away from for a week, and I did. Out there, it’s home to me. I feel strongly connected to nature and loathe what mankind has done to it.

I would not do this again, at least at the magnitude I took it to. I don’t regret anything though…this night was the most powerful in all of my life and I feel I learned a lot about the mind and myself, as well as seeing and sensing things I never knew possible.

Exp Year: 2006	ExpID: 56947
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jan 16, 2007	Views: 32,039
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Mushrooms - P. cubensis (66) : Nature / Outdoors (23), Entities / Beings (37), Difficult Experiences (5), Alone (16)