DOSE: T+ 0:00	1 tablet	oral	MDMA
T+ 12:00	15 mg	oral	Pharms - Buspirone	(pill / tablet)

BODY WEIGHT:

180 lb

I took MDMA with great intent and purpose around 10pm Saturday. When compared to my prior MDMA experiences - from a pharmacological perspective, this time I was blessed with a dose that was not intensely colored by either the grinding clampdown that comes to me with speed or the visual hallucination that comes with LSD.

I've been doing a lot of guided imagery and affirmation work around PTSD, specifically accepting the possibility of returning to full health. I have been taking 15mg buspirone twice a day for the past four months. I take the buspirone to combat anxiety. Initially, it caused me dizziness and a warm body sensation within 30-60 minutes of taking a dose, but those side effects faded after the first month. Based on that experience, I can reasonably state that it takes between 30-60 minutes for the drug to manifest itself in my system.

I'm a 47-year-old male. This was probably my tenth MDMA experience, my first in over a year. Other than PTSD and general anxiety disorder, I'm in average physical condition. I take .15 mg of levothyroxine each day for hypothyroidism. I went into the experience at 180 lbs; I weighed 174 thirty-six hours later, but I ate nothing in the meantime.

I had a wonderful co-creator of this experience who brought a significant gift of full belief in the effectiveness of setting intentions when using MDMA. At 10 pm, I set my trip intentions to embrace joy, shift my perspective to a more optimistic one and open myself to dance again.

We entered a large trance/house/drum and bass dance party immediately after setting our intentions. The entrance into the venue was disorganized and difficult. But after twenty minutes of anxious attempts to get in alignment with the venue, we had the proper wristbands and passes before the first effects of the MDMA arose.

Coincidentally, I had spent an hour under the tattooist's needle earlier in the day. The first indication of mood alteration was the absence of pain from the tattoo and a profound understanding of the significance of the tattoo work I had done. I had a seven-year-old tattoo of a broken, darkened sacred heart 'healed' to remove the break and make the heart more robust and alive - thus reflecting my desired inner state.

My body felt a little clammy, then a wave of coolness washed over me as I had my first insight of the night. I thought to myself, 'Aha! Here is physical evidence of the manifestation of my desire to heal my broken heart.' I suddenly knew that I was healed. 'No judgment, no doubt. And so it is.' The affirmations I had been doing for a few months were suddenly streaming from my subconscious mind into my conscious mind as truths.

The ball of positive experience was rolling as we started to dance. Please understand, I'm twice the age of most of the participants at this event. Before the party, I was a bit anxious about dancing like it was 1983. Once I got on the dance floor, my dancing was stiff but as I moved, my body remembered it's old language. Yes, I was dancing my 1983 moves, but I was dancing in the now, to the beat. 'Aha! Here is more evidence that these intentions we set are becoming reality.'

At this point, my companion pulled me off the dance floor. We got bottles of water, cooled down and acknowledged gratitude for the wonderful time we were sharing.

We danced again. This time, I was freer with my body. We were in the main room where vivid positive images of verdant trees blooming into flowers were present on large projection screens and waves of blue, green, and purple lights were spinning on the ceiling. I was lost dancing in a warm state of being when my companion asked me to dance with him and to align our chakras together as we danced. I turned my attention more fully to my companion as we danced together. After some time, he pulled me off the dance floor again and said, 'I have one word for you. Immense. Your heart is so immense.'

I could spend the rest of the week describing this process of bonding, but that's not the point of this message. The interaction between buspirone and MDMA is.

On Sunday morning after the MDMA experience, I took my usual dose of buspirone and went back to bed. I'd guess this was between 10-11 am, twelve to thirteen hours after the MDMA dose.

Within the hour, I was feeling that familiar MDMA rush; music was thumping through my veins, my limbs were free to interpret the beats in spite of my prior state of physical exhaustion. I used the word 'cascade' to describe the mental sensations to my friend. My brain was spewing sparks of ecstatic joy that rained on my spirit like the fire from a holiday fireworks display. I experienced this return to ecstasy for a good two hours...if not more. I was especially in tune with lyrics, as a song's words became vibrant images in my mind. I did not experience any negative effects from this reactivation of the MDMA experience, the pervasive sense of well being I had experienced the night before was back.

Over the next three days, each time I took the buspirone I had a diminishing cascade experience. During this transitional phase, the reactivation effect has faded more and more into the night sky of my psyche with each subsequent dose of buspirone. This morning, I can't say that I noticed anything at all after I took my buspirone. Frankly, I miss the stimulation, but I still hold the experience close to me.

Before I committed to taking the MDMA, I researched the net for possible interactions between the drugs I take. I learned that buspirone works on very closely named neural receptors. My readings indicated no adverse affects and suggested that there may be a possibility of a synergy between the drugs based on their similar effects on the brain's serotonin systems. The seed of expectation was planted. I acknowledge it is possible that I created the reality of this cascade after party.

Regardless of whether my experience was enhanced by buspirone, it was a wonderful experience and I have gratitude for one particular white rabbit. I'll also hold gratitude for anyone who might be able to help determine if this was a neuro-chemical event caused by drug interactions or the power of creative thought.

I'd like to hear from people who have experience with this combination or have thoughts about why I would still be experiencing this synergy weeks later: exp-56497@erowid.org

Exp Year: 2006	ExpID: 56497
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 47
Published: Oct 8, 2006	Views: 42,698
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MDMA (3), Pharms - Buspirone (155) : Various (28), Combinations (3)