DOSE:			LSD
			Cannabis

It's been about a year and 3 months since I first dropped acid for the 1st time, shortly before my 20th birthday. One very very strange year during which I've been homeless (since before I ever got into entheogens), sketch-venturing with beautiful freaks in the laterals of society and consciousness and traveling across Canada 3 times, two of these 3 times by hitchhiking. A year of exploration, education and travel, physical and non, during which I've stepped through doors that lead to very strange places from which I didn't return the same. Among quite frequently smoking pot and experimenting some with other entheogens (a.k.a. Psychedelics) such as salvia, mushrooms and ketamine I've dropped acid 15-20 or so times. A report on one of these trips is 'alien morphonogenic babies in prayer'.

I must say first and foremost that LSD, among other entheogens including pot, turned out to be for me one of the most fascinating and effective tools for self-actualization, healing and insight. From a purely psychological perspective it can allow one to confront and undo years of neuroses and self-and-other-destructive beliefs and habits. It can also help trigger what some would call a mystical or magickal awareness that transcends dogma, for LSD has the power to cleanse the mind from the parasitic mind-fungus we call dogmas. As I put it in an email to a close friend a few months ago:

'Entheogens (especially LSD) show me the multitude of infinitely varying possibilities of perceiving/processing reality/self, which can be anything at all especially when u regard the experience with a relativistic set, altho I think they serve more to foster this very relativistic set especially in a western cosmopolitan context with it's abundance of information. There's no more easy way out of accepting some goofy doctrine of what reality is because I become open to the hyperweirdness of all, and I know any perception of reality is merely a perception. In other words, entheogens unbind my imagination. Make me so much more open minded and open ended. That is I make myself that, but these things are great boosters and facilitators of that. They can set a way point. They can give substance to the practice, give one a quick and adventurous and very experientialy real peak past the veil. They can big bang the spirit/mind, if only for relatively short lasting periods of time that can however be so profoundly impacting and determinant of the worldviews and values upheld. My personal experiences of such spirit/mind big bangs are what I call 'the unobstructed flights of the boundless spirit across infinity', the permanent evolution/transcendence towards which I consider to be 'that what matters most'. Needless to say, no description can capture even the vaguest feeling of what these experiences themselves are truly like.

Entheogens are an endless topic, there's so much to them, and the best thing is that I cannot pin anything down with them, can't say that they are precisely 'this' and do precisely 'that', which they show me to be true with just about anything. It's as if they are making the mind more fluid, syncing it up this way with reality which also seems to be more fluid than static. It's also the whole sensational nature of the experience that is attractive. The hardass intensity. The adventures into bizzaritude. This very much leaks over into their social context as well. The individuals who use entheogens as exploration ships more often than not seem to be of the eccentric and anarchic and adventurous kind. The beautiful freaks, and these are the ones I gravitate towards.'

I've explored this topic further in 2 short articles which were part of a little self-published magazine, copies of which I was selling on the streets of Vancouver a few months ago:

Don't Believe Anything part 1

My experience with entheogens (especially LSD) enabled me to have a degree of control over my mind, taught me that all my thought/perception/behavior patterns are mere conditioned imprints that can be altered, they showed me the deconditioned, untaught mind, the infinite mind. A mind as it truly is, my own and only my own, thus making it possible for me to choose for myself how I want to perceive and process reality. By doing something like that, you are only taking back what's rightfully yours, in fact the only thing that's rightfully yours, yourself, your freedom to shape your own thoughts and emotions and beliefs and behavior. This involves understanding societal conditioning in all it's bullshititude, ripping apart rigid thought patterns instilled by experience and other people, not being a slave to a mind that isn't even of your own making but rather being a master of a mind that is. A practice whereby ingesting an entheogen one activates a patternless synaptic firestorm, a firestorm out of which you can willingly form new lasting thought patterns. Healthy, empowering thought patterns, if such you choose, those that uphold freedom and compassion.

Such anarchy of one’s mind is the first step to self-empowerment, that which those who control you fear most, the next step being able to do the same with your flesh. That awkward unwieldy flesh, so frail. Willing it into transformation. Hacking the code of matter. Not being its slave either. Breaking and bending the laws of the matrix. And that of course is far more difficult. Yet it is the trick to live and die for. A soul takes on a physical form to, among other things, learn how to manipulate this form. It learns this through will. That will shall persevere. That will shall overcome.

Don't Believe Anything part 2

After much thought and research and some tripping too, it seems to me that every belief system that I've come across so far is a pale and primitive interpretation of reality, an ontological cartoon. The universe is way way whaaay weirder and more insanely complex and bizarre than we can conceive. I think that one is free to interpret reality however they choose. It matters not. What matters is what you do in this reality. How you interact with it. What tricks you can pull in it. Whether you create a happier, freer life for yourself and others. Therefore, I believe in transcending belief (paradoxical, isn’t it).

Any belief, any ideology, any set perspective on things is just that, and not the reality itself. By subjecting yourself to belief and ideology and set perspective you cut yourself off from the hyperweirdness of the universe. You put yourself into a very narrow viewpoint, a very thick filter of interpreting things, a very limited configuration of perception. You drastically reduce your mind's potential, removing other alternatives of the infinite variety of possible mental states. All systems of interpreting reality are at best incomplete if not totally ludicrous and must never be taken as truth but only be consciously used as tools when and if necessary.

I think no one knows what the fuck is truly going on. Those who claim they do, be very wary of. Thus to myself I say: imagine whatever you want, be completely free with your imagination and belief and all mental processes in general. What matters is the practical application, the consequences of these mental processes. Personally, I choose to be awed and inspired by how inconceivably weird everything is and not attach myself to any silly human cartoon of what reality is. Letting go of all these cartoons along with the ego causes one to be flooded by a stream that cannot be grasped. Immersed within that stream, centered yet dissolved, one is able to weave that which truly matters: transformation and empowerment of oneself and others. Immersed within that stream, focused yet receptive, one is able to make the most effective-efficient choices within the selection of choices available in each moment. Calm and fearless, such a person surfs the tidal wave of infinite complexity towards absolute freedom.

I'm going to wrap up this rant on a different topic and mood by talking about where I am at today as I'm going thru these profound changes of mind, personality and lifestyle catalyzed by the use of entheogens. I will do this by sharing an email I sent to my friends just yesterday:

Hey fellers! Quick word from melter. The hitchhiking journey from vancouver to montreal was a blast. Ten days on the road with all sorta beautiful freaks. Fukin madness fractal ultra-super-mega-sketch-speed-shlarfle through time/space, distorted. Went strait to allison's place and the next day we went to a rave 4 hours away from montreal. Maaaahsive supertrippy stage, a breathing spazzing bopping neonic creature of humans inside a supertech alien freak-temple that is bludgeoning with 144bpm megabase psy-trance the physica to reach the ufos out in hyperweirdness, a beacon calling out the aliens. There was also a small chill stage nearby at the bottom of a slope next to a beach, and a tent city around it all with superhi french and ontario freaks running around, and us (allison-melter) lsdilated kittens in the middle. I've been staying with allison since, watching southpark talking eating getting stoned doing uninnocent things going out places etc. We're planning to go to the gaspe, a place in quebec on the atlantic shore sometime soon. A few nights ago we went for a jam with allison's friends who have access to a full-on (yet sketchy ofcourse) recording studio and sang with 3 mikes with effects on while one guy was fuking around with loops on the computer/mixer. Yesterday went to a secretive unlicensed afterhours place above a garage nearby tonight. There were few people there however, at one point a drunk french guy stumbled onto the dance floor with a dog. Just finished some wall-painting in the house, listening to trippy music while eating the legendary montreal bagels, gonna smoke a joint soon.

Have been having many mystical experiences smoking pot especially since I got here, seen the first layer of my bio-electric filed (or aura) in full color several times now. Things are really intense on the (freak)head-space of things. Feel that restless will to trigger something alien to the monkey-mind, something that needs to explode out from within, sum sort of subtle super-frequency energy, the shockwave of which would affect places far weirder then this one. As if the inner-radiance is trying to burst out and with the power of this burst tear apart the locks of physical constants, releasing the inner-radiance of others as well. The unveiling. All this 2012 shit. Flaky-paranoid? Perhaps, but I'm trying to be as skeptical as I can at the same time, I think only the balance/fusion of the two can make one reasonable.

In a resent thc-inebriated moment of glory, I had this very intense thought that perhaps all this acceleration in technology and information that some believe will soon reach a crescendo could give us an ability to create a very special doorway of sorts. There are a lot of new age flakes who believe that in 2012 there's gonna be this planetary shift and aliens are gonna land and take our light bodies to a beautiful place and there will be peace and love forever blahblahblah. I being a reasonable person look at this sceptically of course, but I'm sure they're tapping into something big and weird and real around the corner nevertheless. I'm wondering if part of this big thing is that at our disposal there will be technology and information to create shortcuts to 'there'. Shortcuts in the sense of individual and universal quantum leaps from the sticky unmalleable fabric of dense form bound by consequences, devour-and-posses survival and pain-fear based experience into a state of disembodied consciousness capable of manifesting and unmenifesting an infinity of possibilities at it's will. Humanity already has technology to do miracles, literally, at this point. The problem is that the sick fuckers in power are hoarding it for war and dominance. I think this technology will be released and used in WW3, which at this point doesn't seem too unlikely and too far away. I'm wondering if this technology can be taken now and/or after the war and adopted and used to create shortcuts into full on physical transcendence. I don't think it's fair to even call them shortcuts, lets use the word passageways. Humanity and organic life in general has suffered harrowingly in physica for a very very long time now and now that we've come up with ways to bend and break laws of physics we have every right to rip apart these shackles, cut free from this anchor. The thing here is choice tho.

I doubt that it's just gonna happen like the new agies and other religious fanatics believe. We must make it happen. I'm wondering if it's possible to do that using all this technology in combination with the amassed databank of mystical/occult knowledge to create true, individual and universal, empirical, physical, concrete ruptures into hyperweirdness, or whatever other metaphor u prefer to use. No more prophets poets philosophers and all sorts of other wankers whose legacy instead of inspiring people to be free more often inspires twisted fucked up cults such as christianity and islam that end up devouring humanity. No more dogmas and chatter and high and mighty priests and gurus or any of that bullshit. Only the real thing now. Tangible doorways to heaven. The real fukin thing that is real on the most fundamental physical level. As a species, we've come this far, suffered this much, and it seems that we could very soon loose it all again. Again the ugly life of man's dark ages, again the cruel world of nature. Nononononononononononono!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Better a complete annihilation of all life on this planet than that. Yet I reserve my deepest hopes for something much better and more fantastic than any of us can ever imagine.

Love,
Melt

P.s. Don't worry, I'm about to spark up a joint and get my sense of humor back!

[Reported Substance: "focus on lsd and pot salvia, mushrooms and ketamine briefly mentioned as well"]

Exp Year: 2006	ExpID: 55433
Gender: Not Specified
Age at time of experience: 19
Published: Dec 26, 2018	Views: 927
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Cannabis (1), LSD (2) : Not Applicable (38), Retrospective / Summary (11)