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Human, Yet Alien
Salvia divinorum (20x extract)
by Adam
Citation:   Adam. "Human, Yet Alien: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (20x extract) (exp54527)". Erowid.org. Jan 1, 2009. erowid.org/exp/54527

 
DOSE:
  repeated smoked Salvia divinorum (extract)
BODY WEIGHT: 125 lb
In short, this is a collection of common experiences I have had on Salvia and have confirmed with others. I think these are interesting because I am not the only one who has seen these same things, and until long after the experience I am convinced I had become that other person.

Often at times after smoking about an eighth of a gram of the potent 20x extract, I would exhale after about thirty seconds and sit down, and the roof of my mouth would feel peculiar. It felt as if something was intersecting it somehow. When I tripped enough to slip visually into the other world, I could always tell that I was a patient, in a bed. I sat up and my head immediately intersected something, although I felt nothing, though I knew I was in pain. I was not alone, there was someone vaguely humanoid at the left of my bed and another down a hallway to my right. Everything I perceived was very vague. I would proceed to get out of the bed and fall, hitting my left shoulder on something counter-like from the back, upward, and also the left side of my head. I began to dread the experience, yet was still too fascinated by it.

Other times when I had not had as strong a dose, I felt bouts of glossolalia - I spoke in tongues. Meaningful ones. Particularly, I told myself - alone, and out loud - to 'stop visiting us.' It scared me, because an extremely negative vibe for the plant came over me. This particular negative reaction to the experience has always occurred indoors.

I have felt, when walking during the peak of the experience, my body cut into an infinite array of two dimensional planes. It didn't hurt, but I felt definite, indiscriminate separation occurring. To walk forward through these is to skip - like a poor framerate - between these slices of existence, with none of my matter or time occurring in the gaps of nothingness between the 2d planes that composed me. This is, in short, disturbing.

I have had another hallucination like the first I described. I was somehow on a park bench, and a man who was older than me - again, my perceptions were unbearably vague, he may not have even been human - sat down next to me. The bench was devoid of a setting, existing not in a park or anywhere but in, I guess, a sort of space I could see in. So this man thinks of me, my presence simply occurs to him, and we exist now only in his thoughts. Then he thinks of that, and of that, and that, and that, and that... you can see where this is going. It was horrifying. The pages of reality were turning with each new tangent, like pages in the book.

When I tried to perceive the book, I tried to look away - and because the book was the universe, to perceive anything being outside of it created a boggling paradox. When perception occurs inside this universe, there must logically be a boundary. When perception occurs outside of it, there cannot. So I felt the slicing sensation consume me again, as my original setting - my basement, during a breakthrough experiment with Goa techno playing and the lights off, somewhat began to exist again, and I was trying to turn away from the book with the pages of reality turning in it(damn that man on the bench, he was using his infinite tangent thoughts to turn these - brightly colored - pages) to my universe again, but as my body was sliced further, I crossed the edge of the universe and became nothing. My atoms separated, I was gone.

So now the universe is ending. Time is going rapidly in reverse, speeding up, and the big bang is going to undo itself. And I have a front seat. I do not remember smoking the salvia. I do not remember being human. But another quantum conundrum presents itself: time, being in reverse, is accelerating in reference to a point that would fall somewhere in out future. Yet in our forward time, it has a beginning from which it proceeds. So this cannot be, yet it is. I now seem to have a metaphysical perception of the universe, and it is - in my best recollection - somehow dividing and collapsing into itself. Again, I try to look away, but my ability to perceive this visually does not compute, and my perception begins to - not collapse, not spin, but some other alien way of behaving - my perception begins to ___________ in a spiral. The universe finally becomes nothing, and has now become pre-big bang. Time no longer occurs, it has completely stopped. It will not start again.

Finally, the last phase of my breakthrough experience is being in a place many may like to call 'heaven'. This is a misleading term. I knew, however, that it was where I was before I was born. This is the part of my experience I remember the least about. I communicated with two, perhaps more, vaguely humanoid beings who seemed to serve some administrative purpose. I asked to be sent back, I begged and pleaded. Although I was definitely myself, what I recall being feels alien to me now. I knew more. I didn't want to know it, and I don't remember it. I got a vibe that I would not be allowed to bring this information home with me. I tried to climb into a tube of sorts, somehow knowing it would portal me back home - and I was sent out of the cramped eternity through this pipe. It was going downward and spiraling rapidly, and was composed of a radial universe. I didn't try to perceive what was outside of this universe for fear of dissolving again. As I spiraled downward, I regained my ego and quickly became myself again, somehow up from the bed and walking in the same spiral I sensed in the tube.

I think my ability to recall the details is unique, so I'm sharing these hoping others can relate very strongly to them. Perhaps people can figure out what is going on.

Exp Year: 2006ExpID: 54527
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jan 1, 2009Views: 5,638
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Salvia divinorum (44) : Entities / Beings (37), Retrospective / Summary (11), Not Applicable (38)

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