DOSE:

repeated

smoked

Methamphetamine

(powder / crystals)

BODY WEIGHT:

120 lb

All through my short life (Im now 17) I've been using drugs since I was 12 because I thought they were fun and something different. Never because of depression, family problems ect..they just amused me. I've just tried to sample whatever I could to find the best high, I never resorted to using needles or anything of the sort.

I eventually began to settle down from drug usage as I never had enough money and just began to use E every 1-2 months and glass. These were my two favorite of all other substances, E was for a great night of boundless euphoria and self-exploration. And I was limited where I could do it and wanted to space it out to 'cherish' the rolls. And I never really had a craving to do it.

Now methamphetamine was a different story, a glass high isnt the most pleasureable or fun, but it is a very productive high, it is such a valuable tool for someone with too much stuff to do. I first began using it the morning after a roll to motivate me and help with the depression. But I found this tool to be o' so useful, It is something that you can be on at school, work, around family and if you have any self control you can pull it off. I was naturally a lazy person and my parents always complained and nagged me to get shit done and I just wanted to either sleep or go out of the house. Glass changed my whole lifestyle, I became an A student, would come home do my homework, stay up night studying for a test and doing extra credit, and the thought of *homework* didn't bother me.

I worked throughout the week and was one of the best there, always going above and beyond what was expected. I could accomplish so much when I was on glass. Since there is always something to be done, I was using these things as an excuse to get high. I tried tell myself that I will only do it when nessicary, but I purposely tried to make it always nessicary.

Im suprised how many kids will say no to this drug, a lot of my friends and people at parties will cringe or get mad at me if I mention the word and tell me how dirty it is and people would instantly dislike me when they found out I was a 'tweaker'.

I soon began to find it harder and harder to go a day without smoking, It was my cup of coffee in the morning, I could not get out of bed without that first hit. People were noticing how skinny I was getting, I had these reddish marks on my arms and chest, my mood was constantly swinging, I was getting mad at everybody and just being a general asshole. All of my work money was going to glass and I could only hide it for so long before I couldn't make the car payments. I knew that I had to stop and tried various methods. Even If I had a good nights sleep I was exhausted the next day and didn't want to do anything but sleep. I was now up to smoking 1/4 bags 3-4 times daily just go get the same feeling I used to, which led to me spending massive amounts of money.

Things just started to fall apart and I knew I needed to stop. Though the help of my friends and lots of caffeine pills I was able to go 3 days sober, which made me feel good. I still was unmotivated as ever but I felt good that I went at least a *day* without. I soon realised that I wasn't as agitated, I had more spending cash, and was overall a happier person than I was when I was smoking, then I decided that I wasnt going to smoke anymore. I went two weeks and thought that I was done with the devils drug. But I was getting horrible cravings now, I wanted to remember what it was like to be really spun, and had homework stacking up that needed to be done. I quickly started smoking again and was born-again, I noticed a 200% cut in my tolerance, it was great again. Then began the evil cycle again, I felt on top of the world and started-over my daily routine, just one time and I couldnt stop again. To me this is a horrid drug, with the effects I got off of just smoking, I can only imagine what it is like for an IV user. And I would still have cravings weeks later, my body and mind was never in a worse condition. I wasn't happy when I smoked, I got more and more depressed.

I've tried 8-9 times stopping, with 3 weeks as my longest, but I just find myself always going back to it, I just wish I could go back and never try it. Im currently 2 months sober, and I still feel depressed and tired all the time and just want to get high one more time, but I *KNOW* where that will lead....

Exp Year: 2001	ExpID: 5257
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jan 12, 2002	Views: 35,239
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Methamphetamine (37) : Addiction & Habituation (10), Various (28)