DOSE:	repeated		Opiates
	repeated		Heroin
	repeated		Opioids
	repeated		Various

BODY WEIGHT:

140 lb

Opiates, and opioids too for that matter, and I have this thing going on. We have had it for years. It started when I was young, maybe thirteen or so. I would come across these little white pills at the career center where they sent me because I was better off to them out of the way. Tylenol 3 was stamped across the little Frisbees. I later came to find out that they were comprised of codeine and a non-opiate analgesic. When I first took these pills, I knew it was the beginning of a very beautiful friendship, or so I thought.

The exact dates of the beginning of my journey into other substances besides the opiates is not really relevant to this situation; however, now being twenty-one years old I have used and abused LSD, LSA, and mushrooms quite a bit. I smoke marijuana to the tune of about seven grams a week and have for some time. I am prescribed to Xanax for anxiety, but I took them before I legally could. Imagine that. I have a neurochemistry thing going on and I take SSRIs, Lexapro at the moment and Celexa in the past, also, I have taken Wellbutrin for years. I have dated both drugs off and on for some time. Essentially, I have done every drug save for DMT and methamphetamine. I do not think that I am the average drug user. I work, go to college, and I dabble in more than just the non-alkaloid duo of alcohol and marijuana. By that, I mean I am the variety to extract some LSA from flower seeds if the mood strikes me.

As far as narcotics, and I mean actual narcotics and not what the Drug Enforcement Agency, DEA, classifies as narcotics, are concerned, I have had a rough road. It started with codeine. Quickly, I discovered my soon to be nemisis and love, hydrocodone. I abused Vicodin from about fourteen years of age to this very second. My habit got out of control. I was taking forty or fifty milligrams of hydrocodone daily my first year in college. The drug was supplemented with other drugs I was abusing at the time, marijuana, alcohol, oxycodone, codeine, methadone, one gets the picture here. My love got rough. I lost my job, destroyed my grade point average, GPA, and lost my apartment. I moved back in with my mother, who was all but too aware of the situation at hand. I lay on my mother’s couch for about two weeks eating soup and vomiting. I never wanted to see another pill again.

Fast forward to six months ago. I love heroin. Heroin is as good as it gets. Nothing else comes close to my precious. Once I found out how to get hold of the beautiful brown powder, I did and oh, how I ever did. I became hooked. I was doing one-tenth to one-half of a gram two to seven days a week. Once again, my GPA plummeted, I began performing poorly at work, and I could not believe that I had allowed this situation to occur again. I stopped. I deleted my connection’s number, and I have not insufflated any heroin, or cocaine, but that is a completely different story, since 20 November 2005.

I feel simply delicious. Earlier today, I purchased five hydrocodone tablets. I bought 7.5-milligram tablets, so I had 37.5 milligrams. I got the pills from my mother on my break in between my double-shift waiting tables. All night long, all I could think about was that little baggy in my sock holding those precious, precious little pills. Work was awful. Horrible tippers sat in my section, and I was stiffed on a check, we have to pay for that you know, but I did not even care. I finished work, got in my Toyota, and drove to the city to begin my Spring break at my house, located in a very seedy, and inexpensive, area of town.

I entered the door with a bottle of Bocce 2003 California Zinfandel and five generic Extra Strength Vicodin in my black work sock. As I climbed the stairs, all I could think about was scratching my opiate itch. I had not had any narcotics for about a month when I took three ten milligram hydrocodone tablets I purchased from my cousin—hey, a family that gets high together stays together. I went to the kitchen, retrieved a glass, plate, and spoon from the cupboard, and divided my five pills into ten halves. I crushed the pills into fine flour, and covered the powder with milk. Taking narcotics with milk is the absolute best way to ingest the drugs. This method decreases the chance of nausea significantly. I then drank the solution. The bottle of wine was opened, a cigarette was lit, and I anxiously awaited the opportunity to become one with my floor.

I took the pills some 4.5 hours ago. The high was great, but only reminded me of the monster, my precious, heroin. The feeling is incredible. Warm waves of pleasure course through the body and mind. I prefer the experience to sex. My social prowess augments, and no nausea is present. The hydrocodone high has a funny way of becoming very intense and then fading into the background making one wish that it was still home again. I feel fantastic. I know they high will evaporate slowly, but I plan to start in heavy on the wine when I come to cross that bridge. Smoking marijuana helps to hold on to the euphoria. It seems that alcohol, marijuana, and narcotics all intensify each other. I do not like taking opiates when I am lacking some smoke or alcohol. I feel that I can write better and analyze my life when I am under the poppy spell, and my Lord I enjoy this experience.

I hope that I can chip away at the craving for a while. I have too much to lose to turn my life over to powders and pills. Twice now I have done away with distracting addictions, one to hydrocodone, and one to heroin; however, I am high on Vicodin right now, but I will never touch heroin again. I realize that I am an addict and will always be an addict. That is just the nature of The Beast. This feeling of want will never go away; I must simply learn to control the addiction. Kratom helps, and I try to stay busy. Occasionally though, I give in and retreat into sweet opiate bliss.

Exp Year: 2006	ExpID: 51684
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Oct 17, 2007	Views: 20,861
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Opiates (207), Heroin (27) : Not Applicable (38), Retrospective / Summary (11)