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Being a Zombie
Quetiapine (Seroquel)
Citation:   Ashzenputtle. "Being a Zombie: An Experience with Quetiapine (Seroquel) (exp46076)". Erowid.org. Mar 27, 2006. erowid.org/exp/46076

 
DOSE:
50 mg oral Pharms - Quetiapine (daily)
BODY WEIGHT: 150 lb
This report is more for people who are being prescribed or thinking about accepting their all-knowing shrink's offer to perscribe them Seroquel, not recreational users... If I ever caught someone using seroquel recreationally I would have to smack them upside the head and laugh in their face as a matter of principle.

Well, to start off with what I think of this drug: it fucks me up in a baaaad way. A couple years ago I was seeing a shrink who perscribed wellbutrin for my depression and more importantly my anxiety, but when I told him I was having irregulaties in my sleeping, he immediately thought of a brilliant solution... Seroquel. He thought it would help restore healthy sleeping patterns and help relax me to the point that I could get rid of the constant hopeless thoughts barraging my head. I was hesitant for about a month (I'm a heavy skeptic) to try satans drug of choice, but after looking up every bit of info there was on long-term, low dose experiences, I decided what the hell, he probably knows what he's doing. At this point in my life I had taken a semester off school due to a rather severe depression, and was soon to be returning for the next.

Anyways, on to the experience. I was told to take them half an hour before I would be sleeping, so I took half a pill (12.5) and waited. 20 minutes later, BOOM I'm a dysfunctional retard. I head to bed feeling heavy, with no thoughts in my head, and I fall asleep instantly. Success! I guess....

Waking up I found myself completely clouded over and my personality had seemingly dissapeared. I stuck to my regimen for a coupla weeks, and noticed that if I let it kick in around dinner, I would not be able to understand anything of what was going on around me. Voices were just sounds, I would stare into space non-stop, and couldn't funcion in the least when it came to washing dishes, for example. If this sounds somehow fun, it was not. It was actually terrifying to think that I was putting a chemical in me that was turning me into this.

School started up again and weird things started happening. I upped my dosage to 50 mgs every night. At shool I would just wander around the hallways, not talk to anyone, and just generally act weird. People kept on telling me that I had changed during my sabbatical. I became uninterested in talking and people began calling me monosyllabic Jake. to which I had no argument other than 'uhuh.' One told me I could have my soul back; he had eaten the piece of paper on which I declared my soul in exchange for lunch money. One even sat me down and explained; 'You seem different. what the fuck happened to you? You're just like a zombie now.' - that about sums it up.

Something fucking weird happened awhile later, though. Me n some friends went camping up in some cabins in the local mountains, bringing enough pot for a bob marley concert. All was good, we had fun, smoked pot, frolicked in the snow n all that, and went to sleep.... without me taking my pill. The next morning we smoked some hash for breakfast and began heading down the mountain. I smoked too much and knew it. After my last hit I heard this sizzling-frying noise in my brain and then a *POP* sound. That was when shit went all pear-shaped for me. I began to think that my friends were planning on cutting me to pieces and burying me under the ice of a nearby lake. I was truly psychotic, in another world. It was as though there was another mind in me forcing its evil, horrible, paranoid thoughs on mine and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I tried real hard to get my shit together again, but nothing worked; the other 'mind' was just raping my reality. At one point my friends were standing right in front of me trying to snap me out of it, but I couldn't understand what they were saying so I just stared at them with a pained expression on my face. It was, by all means, the single WORST experience of my life. If I ever had to live in that stare again, even for a week maybe, I would much rather die. And I mean that. It took me three days to recover from it.

I'm glad I took it as a sign that these drugs weren't doing me much good so I tapered off my dosage and stopped taking them.... and so far, I'm doing much better that I was on them. My personality is back, and I can have good conversations again.

As a result of all this, I have lost all faith in psychiatry and their drugs, and I've come to the conclusion that doctors don't REALLY know what their doing with those potent chemicals.

It may be helpful in high doses to sedate those severe paranoid schizophrenics, but its effects are basically like a chemical lobotomy. Frightening.

Exp Year: 2004ExpID: 46076
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Mar 27, 2006Views: 30,573
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Pharms - Quetiapine (273) : Various (28), Medical Use (47)

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