DOSE: T+ 0:00	2 glasses	oral	Alcohol - Beer/Wine	(liquid)
T+ 0:00		smoked	DMT
T+ 24:00	6 glasses	oral	Alcohol - Beer/Wine	(liquid)
T+ 0:00	repeated	smoked	Cannabis	(plant material)
T+ 0:00	4 hits	smoked	DMT

BODY WEIGHT:

165 lb

DMT use: both sides

Sure the smoke is just as harsh as they told me it would be, and sometimes its even worse. But the harshness of the smoke is insignificant next to the best and worst of experiences of this stuff.

This is a two day account of DMT:

I was a bit bored on sunday night so I thought I might dip into the stuff. I had about two beers in me and put a big load in the foil. There are several levels with this kind of thing and I wanted as good as-if not better than what I'd seen. For some reason the taste of the smoke was sweeter than ever.

The initial comeup was extremely quick and the pattern that I'm used to seeing on entry was shimmering in a sort of berserk kinda way. The pattern wasn't so much 'clicking' as much as it was going to have a seizure. I knew I was in for a ride. Before I knew it I was in candyland. The pattern swirls and electric colors and jewels were everywhere. I do remember roads and structures, but explaining their architecture would do them no justice. Only adjectives like 'fantastic' and 'oh my god!' really comes to mind. But it didn't end with just one landscape as I was seeing all sorts of places, sometimes simultaneously. It does seem true of all the other stories where they say 'it was just as real as this reality'. They arent making it up, it is really there. It just doesnt have the same dimensions as this 'real' world. The efficiency of there seemed immaculate. Everything was in perfect time/tune and there was, dare I say it?, a celebration. The elves they speak of didn't seem to actually have a form as much as they were entities swimming around my head spewing volumes of information that seemed the key to everything. I still don't know if the entities are just a subdivision of my own personalities in my head or actually aliens from a different dimension/dementian. Yaa its sounds pretty crazy to think that aliens are for real, but then you are shown and forced to decide, it isnt that easy to make a conclusion.

The 'entities' are there, but the sheer pleasure is the beauty of the understanding that seems to be accomplished with getting into the candyland. Its hard to explain. Yes, the movements and the colors are so spectacular that I might say they exceed all expectations of beauty. But the deeper understanding of ultra-life is a feeling of utmost contentness. I was given the information that there is no life and there is no death in the 'orthodox real' way of thinking. This is what for sure I could retain, but the rest of the formula was of course lost in translation....sorry I'm still trying.
I had a feeling of no fear. It all made perfect sense and there was harmony among the interdimensional races. It was real that all worries of this earth seem inconsequential and moot. I did find this a little disturbing afterwards as the notion of kharma was seen as futile in this foriegn land. To think that all I've done in good heart was irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. But what a relief of the wrong things I've done. I felt absolved and given anew. Born again of drugs??? I don't know, but I definately felt that psychedelic profoundness in an exponential way. It goes into if it was really a 'drug' at all, but more of an awakening pass into the world so many claim as the hyperspace.

Either way I returned with a sense of hope for all the world. I take comfort in the fact that if this new reality is real there is no need to fret...about anything. Religions have been built on this stuff and I can see the relevance. And oh yeah, did I mention the colors?!

One day has passed.............

The next night I came home from work and was heavily drugged up. I had been drinking at least 6 beers and smoked quite a bit of that one hit pot.
'Hey! Why not try some of that good ol 'bliss shit?!'
I wasnt looking for that unity I'd experienced last night, but I wanted to just have some headlifting moments. The first two hits were excellent over fifteen minutes and I was given some profound revelations with satisfaction. The third hit was a bit of a dud and I figured better double up the next.

The fourth hit was wrong! Something wasnt right from the onset. I'd smoked this shit for months but what was starting to happen didnt feel familiar at all. It wasnt right and I exhaled early in an attempt to impede the wrongness. Early exhalation didn't stop the wrong and I came to find that everything had sorta just stopped. A sound of repetitive clanging was in my head assuring me that this was the wrong time to cheat insanity and even death. Like an insane check-valve alarm letting me know I'd gone too far. It was time to pay the piper. Instead of flowing paterns or super enhanced colors there was stillness in everything. I seemed to be locked in that place and was sure that time would never resume. My awareness seemed to be fading within split seconds between absolute confusion and functional confusion. It felt like an all systems shutdown without any fun perks of the drug itself. I felt a pressure building in my head and I started to relieve the pressure as one does when flying in a pressurised airliner cabin. It wasnt working and the pressure was getting too great for my attempt at equilibrium.

My wife wasn't home so I desperately pushed my body to the kitchen to the phone to call her cell but I couldn't work the phone. I was trying to get in touch with something real or at least tell her I loved her one last time before I died from this apparent aneurism or stroke of the brain that I was having. I laid on my bed waiting for death in the confusion. The only thought that seemed tangible was that I was surely going to die, and this is how it will always be hereafter. Not even the bonus of pretty colors and patterns, as there were none to be seen. It of course went away within 10 minutes or so, but that 10 seemed forever as I awaited the eternity of fearful confusion.

The next day was spent inspecting my body movement and general motor function, while trying to notice tingling or numbness of extremities. I really thought I fucked myself up (as well I may have), but there seemed to be nothing wrong. It all seemed to be a condensed ultra-fear that will be unforgetable. A reclamation of the once-lost feelings of deeper appreciation of life was a joy to re-discover as a result of this bad trip. When faced with death and hell I remembered that life is special and not worth taking for granted or floundering aimlessly with. This thought went totally against the laws of the hyperdimensional entities, but that's what has really got me thinking. I had a total and absolute feeling of peace on a huge dose but a fear-driven monster on a casual mind-masturbation dose. This stuff is not to be taken lightly, nor without respect of its potential. I used to think that going crazy wouldnt be so bad but I found that a brain that functions abnormally is not a fun way to live. My brain malfunctioned, and I was scared.

The thought that my soul can exist even without my being able to think on a reasonably understandable plane gave me a deeper insight into the insane. It wasn't fun and I hope to never return to that disturbed place.

Be careful.

Exp Year: 2005	ExpID: 43091
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Dec 1, 2005	Views: 11,783
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DMT (18) : Alone (16), Multi-Day Experience (13), Difficult Experiences (5), Combinations (3)