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I Was the Robot for Six Days
DXM
Citation:   Tripobass. "I Was the Robot for Six Days: An Experience with DXM (exp37045)". Erowid.org. Jun 20, 2007. erowid.org/exp/37045

 
DOSE:
  repeated oral DXM  
    repeated oral Chlorpheniramine Maleate (pill / tablet)
    repeated smoked Tobacco - Cigarettes  
BODY WEIGHT: 160 lb
[Erowid Note: Most Coricidin contains CPM (Chlorpheniramine Maleate) which can be dangerous in high doses. See DXM Brand Warnings for more info.]

On Saturday, I and my friend C wanted to go see our friend, M's band. We spent all day trying to find a ride but it just never seemed to pull through. We were sitting there bored as hell and decided to buy a dub with our ticket money. C then suggested to me that we take some Triple C. I said that sounded cool, but in my head I was thinking, 'coricidin sucks man, doesn't even fuck you up that much.' That was according to my knowledge at the time.

The last time I had done skittles, and the first time was a month ago when I took 8 and I didn't feel really anything really. I just got really patient. (I waited at a street corner for this guy to hook me up with acid. I waited for like an hour until I realized he was not going to show up.) So any ways C went to the store on my bike and came back with two 16-tablet packs of Coricidin cough and cold.

He popped 12 and I popped 16(480 Mg-DXM) since I wanted to get real fucked up and last time nothing even happened. I called up my guy and we went and got a gram of some really good chocolate tasting weed. We walked over to the golf course and smoked some bowls in the bushes. For a while I only felt the weed, but by time we had finished smoking I could feel the effects of the Coricidin.

We went back to my house. I felt really dizzy and kind of excited. We sat around and watched TV as slowly our minds started to slip out of our ears. I tried to calculate what dosage we had taken of DXM but right when I picked up the paper to do the math on, (Mental Math wasn't an option at this time.) I totally forgot what I was going to use the paper for. Then when I tried to watch TV it just didn't make any sense at all. It was still amusing though. Cartoons with wacky animations can be pretty entertaining even if I don't get what’s going on. I had felt that before, the confusion, when I took 8 Nyquil’s. (Not a fun experience though. I felt real sick.)

After that it's real hard to name off specific events because a lot of it was just us sitting around for about 30 minutes not doing anything but talking and listening to music, then going somewhere else and doing the same thing. At one time, I took another coricidin. It was pretty fun and we kept ending up just sitting there in the silence of my room, which we kept saying we weren't going to do but we kept ending up doing any ways. The music though was very intriguing. We listened to Manson, Primus, and NIN. The way Trent puts kind of sounds into sounds, was very trippy.

My friend T from Community School came to hang out with his friend who was hanging out with my sister. Now you've got to understand my sister is just plain dumb. I know everyone says their siblings are dumb but mine is exceptionally. She's strait-edge-christian-goth. T comes up and says 'what's up' to me and stuff then goes in my house with my sister and her friend. Later on they come out side and try to hang out with us. I'm sitting there bobbing back and forth because it felt good. T comes up and is all, “I didn’t know this was a crying party. If I did I would have brought you some tissues.” The way he said this had really irritated me. He was just trying to be a fucking prick. I let it slide though. I was feeling good.

T starts talking about drugs and how he will do any drugs and stuff. He was having a very “not interesting or enlightening” conversation with my sister and her friend. They weren’t really talking about anything really. They’re all three just really dumb. You know how when idiots have a conversation one of two things happen. They either get real in-depth on moronic pointless subjects or they just sit there trying to put whatever short, pointless, ignorant statements they can think of. It was very much more apparent then ever before how stupid this small group was.

At one point, my sister had said a word and T tried to rhyme it a few times. He was all, “Rose: Grows, Frows, Crows, Bows…” Then my sister’s friend was all, “Woa! It’s the poetry!” My sister was all, “Yeah! The poetry!” It was just one of those things that you hear someone say when you’re fucked up and just think to yourself, “Man I’m all fucked up and I’m not even saying this stupid of shit.” C and me just kind of glanced at each other giving that kind of look to each other like, 'Ha Ha! This guy doesn't even know how way fucked up we are and he's hanging out with my sister,' which is a sure fire way that not only will you not do any drugs but you wont have any fun at all.

Then T's friend M came over. Now we were in the TV room. We were watching Futurama when M came in and asked what we were doing. I gave him an answer in a real shaky but somewhat laughing voice, 'watching Futurama.' He's all, 'That's a cool show...'

'Fuck this!' He said as he walked out. He's one of those people that don’t like being sober and he probably was having a really lame time staying clean with my sister at the time. Later on he came in right before he left and it was like I could read his mind. (Not literally. Just I know hanging out with my sister would bore me into wanting to do anything to escape reality in some way.) He was all, 'Hey, if you guys are going to...' He couldn't finish his sentence because it's kind of a weird way to say it. But seeing as he probably knew by this point we were real fucked up and just the way he said it I knew he was going to finish the sentence with, 'get any drugs tonight, get in touch with me or something.' I looked at him and he just went totally blank and said “what the fuck” and walked out.

This though wasn’t a crazy event something about the fact that they just aren’t my crowd, (They’re the kind of people who wont even be your friend unless you like smoke them out or give them a drug.) T was being a dumbass, and that in the end of the night I practically read M's mind; it was all very amusing to me.

C and me watched TV until we just weren't tripping out in our minds any more and we were just bored again. We stayed up for a while talking about the afternoon into the night. We couldn’t stop cracking up talking about T’s idiotic phrases, M’s inability to ask me if we had or where getting any drugs, and the over-all fact that these assholes where in my house getting all pissed off because they were sober, and we were sitting there tripping out. We went to sleep and called it a night.

Then on Monday I decided to do it again. I don't go to school on Monday so I usually either go to my friend M’s house, which is a good distance, or I sit at home by myself. I went to the store and jacked two boxes of coricidin, went back home, and took down 20 tablets (600 Mg-DXM). I waited for about 2 hours and nothing was happening. So I lay down for a half hour and still nothing was happening. I then drank two Cider Alcohol drinks that my parents had in the fridge. I walked outside to smoke a cig. Then right when my friends R, T2, and J showed up at my house I felt the effects kick in. They actually kicked in about a minute before they showed up but then I felt more fucked up when I saw their looks when they looked at me.

My posture was a bit off. I was robo-walking to an extent and my back was hunched over. It felt like a mix between the two substances I had taken. Somewhat fifty-fifty of the two. I was trippin. My mind couldn't focus on reality and I kept slipping from the real physical world into a daydream stage. But nothing made sense. If I concentrated hard on focusing on the physical world I could but only for a short period of time before my mind would slip away and I'd swim through a subconscious that was generated by me just being lost in thought.

I couldn't refocus. I'd be able to interpret one very small thing like, a sentence one of them would say then I'd just trip out and go back into this dream-like phase. It was pretty intense nothing near the intensity third Plateau though. My friends were just sitting there bored out of their minds but I was hardly even aware that they were bored because I was just going off in my head. It was around 5:00 so we decided we should leave before my parents get home. I can't have people over when they are gone. So we went to a park were I just sat and tripped out listening to Slayer and Black Sabbath. My friend's system makes it feel like you're getting hit with bass and this was a very interesting feeling when I was under the influence. His system sounds like shit though. It was weird when we were driving because of how it sounds, when listening to Slayer it felt like I was being hit at many angles by shapes of music. It’s hard to explain but that’s the best way I can put it.

It was Tuesday and I had to go to school. It was pretty tough because I just didn't want to be there. I was so tired that I just slept through both my classes. When I got home I was feeling really bored. I had really enjoyed my 2nd plateau experiences and especially on Monday when I dosed just under the third plateau.

I felt I was ready to experience the third plateau:

I actually decided to try to every now and then write things down about my experience and while I was fucked up. This proved to actually be very valuable in my opinion. I’ll admit I was a little over-confident in my ability to control my mental state. I didn’t think I was going to loose my mind as much as I did but I still think I handled myself ok for how gone I was. That day I jacked two 4oz bottles of Robitussin Extra Strength Cold and waited for the appropriate time. My dad was pretty drunk watching TV and my mom was gone until later that night so at 8:45 I got out a glass of water, put a lot of tooth paste on my tooth brush and downed both bottles of Robitussin. I chugged down the glass of water covered the inside of my mouth with toothpaste and rinsed. For I while I just sat and watched TV.

I went for a walk and smoked a cigarette and went down to the golf course to look at things and just relaxed. I was feeling a bit buzzed but I was still fully functional. I kind of had that whooshing like feeling when I walked. I stared at the sky for a while and thought about how distant everything is but in the perspective of anything bigger than me they would seem that much closer to everything. I would walk for a few minutes then sit down depending on if I felt like sitting or moving. This went on all night and I got a lot more rapid at changing from moving to sitting and lying down.

I went back to my house and watched Rush: The Chronicles. The video for Mystic Rhythm was very trippy and I tend to trip on it when I’m completely sober. It was a very trippy video. In the beginning there are what appears to be rocks with a black light over them with kind of a grid-like pattern going over it in neon light. This part always and especially this time makes me think about all my great E experiences at one time in kind of a summary of them all that is just how I feel about the drug. I like it. I like it a lot. Then all the rest of the videos were kind of boring because I just watching them play. That’s still interesting but I felt like watching trippier stuff. The music though, was very interesting. I could feel my moods elevating and connecting very strongly with the feelings and emotion expressed through the music. I really felt this way watching Subdivisions. The images of The skyscrapers, roads, and neighborhoods with their effects that are meant to give it all a very bleak appearance really brought out the message to the song of how the American suburbs are really, in an unnatural way, sectioned and how I either “be cool or be cast out” by peers when going through high-school.

At 11:45 I went into my room and decided to take a stab at writing something down. By now my mind felt really spacey and I felt slow. I also noticed my walk was getting very unusual because I was loosing control of my movement. It was getting harder and harder to make my body do a specific thing with precision. When I’d put my foot down from lifting it up to walk I couldn’t really control where it lands. I sat down at my desk and knew I was about to hit a point of no return for quit a while. I could feel the buzz building up a lot and I was getting very excited. It was like when you’re going up a big slope on a roller coaster you know the craziness is just over the slope. I began to write in spaced out letters “I feel way out there.” As I wrote this it was like feeling those few moments when you’re looking down the roller coaster about to go down that big slope. I actually had a very strong realization of how fucked up I was about to become before it began.

Then I thought of something that seemed to be very meaningful at the time so I wrote, “this is important” Then “I feel” and I forgot how I was going to complete the sentence. Then I remembered what it was and I began to write, “I will” Then I just went totally blank again. I wrote “I don’t know” That fraise sticks out in my mind because it really tripped me out when I realized I had written it and I started to fall into confusion for a few moments. Then I had the craziest most vivid hallucination I had ever had. It felt like my feet had roller blade wheels under them as part of my foot and that the wheels were rolling and I was riding on these roller blade feet of mine. I was at that point completely unable to write anything else down and I knew this so surely I didn’t even try. I put down the pen and went out to smoke a cigarette.

I’m not really sure about what exactly all happened after that. I don’t remember a lot of it and the chronological order of events disappeared after they had already happened. I went out side and just wandered around. I didn’t light up a cig for a while because I totally forgot to. I was just lost completely. I didn’t know anything. Everything around me looked way out of place and even when things appeared perfectly normal looking at them they just seemed somehow off in appearance. My mind was going off on all sorts of thoughts that had no real form or structure. I was consistently thinking of very odd expressions, visuals, and all these new sensations I had never felt before.

At this point some of it was a little scary being totally lost and all but it was all very amusing. I walked around aimlessly around the block on the sidewalk in the middle of the street and swaying my direction my entire walk. My motor coordination was shot. It felt as if my mind had actually been removed from my body and put into a new one and I was slowly learning how to walk and control my body.

Eventually I felt like I needed to sit down. I sat at my porch and look around at everything amazed in a sense of new perception and amazing mind blowing orgasmic sensations coming into my mind and flowing through my body. I looked a cross the grass and the texture of it tickled my brain and intensified the rolling feeling I was now having. It was somewhat similar to the roll XTC gives me but not quite the same.

The outline of the tree across the street remained close to the same but was a little shaky. I many times totally left reality but I don’t really remember any of those events. That whole next hour is all a big blur to me.

I remember at one point I felt I was completely out of my physical body and my conscious was floating over what looked like a dance or a rave. All the people were blurry though and immediately after words I went into a phase of believing everyone in existence hated my guts and all that their conscious minds would ever conceive is how I am a vile human being. This made me experience extreme paranoia of people all of the sudden. Worse than I had ever felt before. I realized this was triggered by my social anxiety I have felt I have been suffering from over the past few years ever since I had moved.

I thought back to how I use to be very immature and I tried very hard to fit in and was a total failure at it. Then when I decided to just be myself I always had this undying fear that people wouldn’t accept me for who I am. It was a bit more than just I felt my friends would be a little limited and I’d just not be very popular. I use to get paranoid just sitting by myself thinking of all the horrible things people are probably thinking and saying about me. I just realized that the thing is that I’m just one of those different people. If someone has a problem with how I am that’s just tough shit for them because I don’t change for anyone. I realized who are my real friends.

I also had a problem with when people would insult me I’d just think in detail what they said and analyze how they would conceive this from me. A lot of times I’d see where they were right and change on that. A lot of times I’d be real insulted by things I didn’t believe where true at all and would think about it so much that it just invades my mind and makes me feel that it is true. I went through all these problems at a new extreme this night. Thinking them through at that level made every solution for these I’d come up with much more impactful than any of the solutions (a lot of them the same) than ever before. One thing I did that took a huge weight off my shoulders was I took all the things people have done and said to really bother me lately, I wrapped them up in what looked like a giant gum wrapper and threw them into infinity.

I looked around at everything and it all seemed very lucid as if I were in the Matrix or something. It felt very much like I was dreaming and I had a slight ability to contort the things I see to the point were it’s to obvious that I’m not really making it do that. I had to trick myself into thinking my mind was actually contorting the image. When I’d think to myself flat out, I’m just tripping and tried to stretch and contort it too violently the hallucination would go away completely. With this mentality growing stronger I looked at some bushes and bent them with my mind. This was my most solid visual hallucination. It looked completely solid and like it was actually happening. I made them bend just like a psychedelic swirl.

At this point I was very aware of the fact that my conscious and everything I consciously think was completely separate from my physical form which is able to move things by exerting pressure on them. I used the same technique I used on the bushes on my conscious self. (The non-physical side of me that now had the appearance of my physical form but was not part of the physical world) I made my projected mental self bend like a psychedelic swirl. Just like I made the bush do. I could visualize my mental form bend and stretch out of my body.

I remember thinking about my friend telling me about his acid trip where millions of gay gnomes where chasing after him. It was his first time and he took two hits. I figured that these gnomes were actually small robotic entities that go after trippers and try to ruin it for them as bad as they can. I got a really eerie sense around me from this. I then pictured what they looked like in my head. After picturing them I was able to identify the locations of all of them. They where just invisible. Since I had located them and they knew I had it scared them and they lost everything that was intimidating about them.

Then I felt that everything’s part of one big picture and all the atoms and molecules are group together into shared consciousness. I then felt my mental self partially leave my physical self and take the physical form of things around me. Parts of my physical self remained attached to my conscious while others left and went into objects and plants that where in my nearby spectrum of vision.

For instance at one point I would be my head, my arms and a nearby rock. Then I’d be the steps, my torso, and head. I always kept my eyes though. My metal self never left my eyes completely for now. I looked across the street at my neighbor’s houses and noticed that everything was in 2-D layers put on top of each other in front of me. Like on paint shop. Seeing this made me realize that now my consciousness consisted of the layer that my head was in. My legs were out in front of me so they weren’t part of this state of me being. It was my torso, my head, and arms, the pillars around me and the overhang and the step I was sitting on. That was who I now was. Now that I had altered to my conscious to this form I was able to move portions of my conscious self to sections of the many layers present in front of me. This made it so that now my conscious self was spreading out everywhere I could see and was just like before continuously changing and shifting around. My mind continued to go through all sorts of phases like that for a very long period of time.

I couldn’t stay in one place any more though for very long. I was going in my house and up to my room, sitting at my porch, and walking around my neighborhood. I smoked many cigarettes. Though it made it so I’d have to drink more water to hold the Robitussin down the nic rush was very strong and orgasmic.

The rest of the night consisted of me doing this constantly. I’d sit somewhere for what seemed to be hours then I’d realize it had only been like 2 or 3 minutes when looking at my watch. Strange things were constantly happening. I’d either be seeing some strange visual, hearing noises or voices in my head, and feeling very strong emotions. Along with all that I had very orgasmic rolling sensations. I remember walking up my stairs and it felt like I was floating up them.

I had continuing Déjà vu. I’d walk into my bathroom to take a piss then I’d realize my toilet is clogged then go into my sister’s bathroom to realize her toilet was clogged then go downstairs to use that bathroom. It felt like I had done this millions of times. In my downstairs bathroom all the sounds and voices in my head would become more off the wall, louder, and clearer. I think this was because I know how the bathroom downstairs echoes a lot. I couldn’t identify any of the voices they were just voices I’d hear. This one time it was very clear and loud and sounded like it was coming from right out of me. It was some guy continuously screaming, “WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!”(Remember M saying, “what the fuck!” and storming out the room.) That was the one time the voices started to get to be a bit too much. It was the only time the voices spooked me.

The darkness of my room was where I had the most visual trips. When I came in my room it was pitch black at some parts but the window gave it light about half way through. I looked to my door after I shut it. This is where it was pure black I saw no light in this area. Looking into the blackness was like looking into a void to nothingness. I felt that I could have even gone into the nothing and I’d be trapped into nothingness for eternity. There would be no exit since it is a void. No beginning or end to anything either. I walked to another area of my room looked into another area of blackness where in the darkness I could see numbers and word in green floating towards and away from me.

I turned on Manson and was sucked into the CD. It caused me to witness tons of hallucinations looking through the dark and especially when I’d close my eyes. I was looking at the edges of the darkness. It appeared to have purple fuzz to it. About a foot thick. Then I realized this fuzz was cells from human flesh. These cells started to move in front of me. They then swirled in a big cloud around each other.

I started to notice human bones swirling through this massive cloud of human calls constantly rearranging. This visual was totally generated by “The Beautiful People.” How these arrangements of cells had come together to make this organism that a sense of superiority over others due to their natural appearance that categorizes them as “one of the beautiful.” How this thought of value on people is ignorant.

At the last chorus the cells began to form together. My room grew to the size of stadium. I grew quite a bit but in retrospect to my room I was pretty small. I was then at the top of my room looking down at my bed. In the middle of my bed was the black void into nothingness. Coming out of the nothingness and going down into it forever was two stilts made out of bones. At the top in between the two bones were Twiggy Ramirez’s ribs with rotting flesh hanging off of them and Marilyn Manson’s head bloodied and battered.

I tried it a few days later with my friends. I drank 2 and ¼ bottles and I tripped hard. The thing is the trip just wasn’t the same. Having my friends around made me not notice things that I was tripping on as well. It didn’t really have that sense of leaving reality. I just felt retarded and it was all really funny. At one time we saw a cop and everyone ran to our friend’s car. I just walked because running wasn’t an option. After that being outside just didn’t feel safe. I felt a real sense of security in my friend’s car though. I was holding a shirt, which I couldn’t figure out if it was mine or not. I kept thinking the shirt was actually a valuable, fragile possession. Not mine but important.

At one time I went for a walk and when I got back to my friends I felt really refreshed like I just woke up or something. I remember at one time I said, “Guys, I feel like a robot.” I remember leaning against a power box and it was like it and the ground I was standing on was rotating in a 90-degree angle back and forth.

At one time it felt as if though I were holding a giant cube of some sort. It didn’t end nicely though. Everyone went to sleep and I was just awake with nothing to do at all. I was just sitting there all bored. The visuals were just not meaningful at all and not convincing either. I’d just see some double vision. I stayed up unable to relax and go to sleep for hours. It took me until 7:30AM.

Then the next day I took one and a half bottles. It was nothing special at all. I just felt all spacey and at this point nothing was really tripping me out any more. Me and my friend just walked around talking about dumb stuff and I felt real depressed. I didn’t want to go in my room for some reason. I just wanted to sit outside and be totally gone from everything. I was once again awake for hours after my friends went to sleep and there just was nothing that entertained or interested me about any of it. I just felt really sick of being that way.

It’s Monday now and I took three bottles at 10:00. I recorded certain things on my computer.

10:45- Bleg! Puked my guts out. It was just too much on my stomach.

11:00- I’m pretty spacey. Typing is fun. I’m going online.

12:00- Bored as fuck I just feel that it is a good idea to drink another one. I can hold one in since I puked all of it out earlier.

1:00- Rocko’s Modern Life is a really good cartoon. I love how it shows a lot of metaphors with daily life.

Rocko- He’s a good guy. He’s got a good clear head on his shoulders and he’s always doing what is right.

Hefer- Stupid, fat, lazy, but an honest loyal friend to Rocko who though sometimes can get carried away always realizes what’s important.

Philburt- This guy is a turtle for a reason. He’s insecure. What do people do when they are insecure as in they don’t know what to do and can’t handle things. They hide in their shell. Their shell being their homes and their lies and such.

Mr. Bighead- He’s pursued money and being ahead of everyone on the business scale. He’s blind to the fact that in the business world he’ll never be on top. He devotes his life to such useless things such as, “Checking the tops of bottles,” and trying to get promoted to putting the tops on bottles.

Conglamo-The perfect name for a Multi-conglomerate corporation, turning masses of living beings into drones of hard work for a small cause. All these people compete in a business to get more money and when you break it down it all just sounds dumb. I like how it shows how Ed Bighead has to suck up to those of higher rank than him. It shows a subliminal example of how the richer get richer and the poorer get poorer but if I don’t revolve myself over money none of this really applies t you.

1:35-I just think the rock lifestyle is what is right for me. I’d rather play my instrument and connect with people that way than trading dollars and coins.

2:30-This is just too addictive. I have to stop now. No more. I keep wanting to find answers and paths and such. I just need to stop being so fucking fuck!>!>@WIS* Wis- ha ha la la., I just need to clear my head of this fucking drug. Get it out of my system. I am having a hard time doing anything right now. But I have figured out I like to type a lot more than I like to write. Pushing buttons… ahhh….

I’m not seeing anything really just noticing myself going crazy slowly. So slowly. Like everyday is just another continuation of my adventure through my ever-slipping away mentality. I have never known if it was true. Everyone says I am stupid and retarded. Now I feel that way. It feels like when I’m no longer like this how can they even say. I need to stop seriously.

4:20-Damn I wish I had some weed.

Later that night I felt really depressed. I was just in an all-together horrible mood.

It gets old being like that for 5 days. I’m done with it for quite a while.

Exp Year: 2004ExpID: 37045
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jun 20, 2007Views: 10,596
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DXM (22) : Various (28), Depression (15), Music Discussion (22), Retrospective / Summary (11)

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