DOSE:

23

oral

Mushrooms - P. cubensis

(fresh)

BODY WEIGHT:

130 lb

I've eaten mushrooms numerous times in the past, but before this trip I had never quite understood the 'communication' involved between humans and Psilocybin. My past experiences had mostly been at festivals such as the rainbow gathering where I had eaten just a few caps or had a cup of mushroom tea. These experiences were wonderful and put me in a very relaxed state where I felt in touch with nature and the people around me. The grass and trees would slowly breathe with me and I would see small dancing fairies within the campfires. When I closed my eyes I would sometimes see patterns dancing deliciously before me and entwining me into mathematical bliss. They were all very pleasant times but I had a longing to pick my own mushrooms and try taking a higher dose for once. So I gathered two of my friends and we headed to a field I was shown by a kind brother I met in the forest.

We wandered in the field for quite sometime as I showed the other two the correct mushrooms to pick and how to test them. Along the way we must have found at least 60 mushrooms, which we flicked (to release spores) and picked. I was amazed we found so many and it seemed like far too much for the three of use so we decided to go to a friends house an hour away and see if he would like to join us on our journey. When we got there though he was having a party with the neighboring apartment beside him. We were welcomed in and decided that here was as good a place as any to begin. We invited numerous people to join us but no one seemed to have interest in anything besides drinking and 'party drugs' that night. I washed the mushrooms with water and set them all out splitting them into 3 piles that contained approximately 20 each. One friend in particular (Z) took all the smallest ones by choice as this was her first mushrooms experience and she was nervous. It seemed like a ridiculous amount still so we ate only 15 to start with dipped in ranch dressing (10:00pm). Tasty! I love the taste of mushrooms and even just the smell of them gets me so excited!

While we waited for them to kick in we wandered back and forth from the two apartments meeting new people and socializing. There was a point when the 3 of us were sitting together on the couch a while after we began to yawn and we had begun to feel lazy. It was then that I realized I had been tripping for a while. It wasn't like the smaller doses at all but more similar to those moments on acid when you forget you are tripping. My heart started beating faster and I realized I was getting a bit nervous. We were in the apartment next door to our friends, which was the apt where most of the partying was going on and the drunks around us were starting to appear very messy and almost gross. I was getting a bad feeling about alcohol and decided it might have been not such a good idea to trip with people that were drinking. Honestly I was considering never drinking alcohol again after being able to see what seemed so clearly into what drinking does to people. We had to get up and leave. Z and W were telling me that they could really feel the mushrooms now and they wanted to go for a walk.

The rest of the night might not have occurred in the order I will explain it in. At some point time began to stretch itself out on a grid and moments would happen beside each other rather than after one another. It was the strangest thing I have ever experienced. I think I took a lot more mushrooms than I needed.

We were outside walking to a lake in our friend’s apt complex. I remember realizing that the under the shallow water there was a tarp and the water was dyed blue, it didn't make any sense to me. I tried to tell my friend Z but I couldn't form the words the way I wanted to and I started laughing at myself.

We walked back to the apartments but when we got there the door to my friend’s apartment was soft and warm but the door to the other was harsh and cold and I was scared to touch it. I sensed an evil chaos unfolding in that apartment and it took on a personality so I named it 'Cain' and the other that seemed kind and inviting I named 'Able'. I truly believed that there was a consciousness in each place now.

The first time I noticed the hallucinations was in the bathroom sitting on the toilet when the tile floor underneath me began moving like a conveyor belt which made the walls appear to be moving toward me. I realized the room was going to change shape and I closed my eyes. When I opened them it had stopped but the wallpaper was moving all around and paisley fish swimming around each other had replaced the patterns that really were there. I think I must have spent half an hour in the bathroom looking at everything. My reflection in the mirror seemed strange and foreign. I didn't understand why my reflection was doing everything I was doing and I didn't recognize myself visually. I walked out of the bathroom laughing.

The other first time I noticed the hallucinations I was staring at a picture on the wall and I couldn't figure out what it was. For no more than two seconds my vision was completely replaced by an image of a dragon head made out of colored light flying towards me and splitting into quarters as the four parts of it's head started spiraling and flew around me. I wasn't sure if my eyes had been open or shut. By this time I wasn't exactly sure what the difference was. My thoughts were moving so quickly and my stomach was feeling woozy.

I was outside walking with Z. I said it's time to puke now. I remember leaning over into the grass and vomiting up some of a sandwich I had eaten earlier that day mixed with some mushroom chunks. Some of the mushroom chunks became caught up my nose and I needed to blow it real bad. I reached into my pocket and pulled out some tissues and laughed saying 'HA! I preprogrammed my subconscious to know that I had tissue in my pocket for when I puke since I knew I wouldn't remember it'

We are playing grand theft auto on the playstation and the scenes keep repeating themselves. We are walking to the kitchen to eat the rest of the mushrooms and I am wondering if my hands are thinking something different than what I’m thinking.

We are in the kitchen again eating the rest of the mushrooms laughing like animals crying. We are drawing what our hands are imagining about on the chalkboard in the kitchen. Seems my hand was thinking about giraffes.

I am next door inside of “Cain” by myself when a good-looking guy with short dark hair and nice eyes comes up to me. I told him I was tripping and he seems soothing at first, talking to me about video games and computers. He is asking me to go somewhere with him. I think he is asking me to go back to his house now and play games with him but I don’t want to go anywhere without my friends and it just doesn’t seem right to me to ask someone who is tripping to leave their friends behind and hang out with someone who is not. I tell him no and get up. A few second later he catches me as I’m walking towards the door and grabs my hand saying, “ ok lets go now”. He over estimates how far gone I am. I realize that he is trying to fool me when he tells me that I just agreed to go with him. As I’m looking at his face I feel a presence holding me up and reaching over my eyes as I’m looking through it I see before me that the guy has changed. His hair has become electricity standing up and moving like snakes. His eyes have become wide open and chilling evil. His face begins to contort into a monster but I feel this presence holding me close and communicating to me that I am seeing into his soul and that I must not go anywhere with him or he will hurt me. I tell him no but he won’t let go of my hand and starts to drag me out of the apartment. I hear a voice say “scream”. I scream and tell him to stop so he lets go and go into the bathroom where I hear the door slam and things being thrown around. I thank my unseen protector in absolute amazement. Mushrooms understand. And they are good. They are my friends.

I am standing over the sink inside of “Able” and splashing water on my face. For the first time I think I might really have taken too much. I feel an electric pulse running through my head like a burning sensation. I am thinking uh oh I might have fried something this time. Then I saw a door open and tribal patterns pouring out. I still see them when I close my eyes today if I concentrate.

W is freaking out but I can't figure out why. People outside the bathroom are telling me to take care of him, I try to talk to him but he is mumbling about how he can't figure out what time it is and how moments pass. He is trying to keep his brain logical and it's sending him into frenzy. He says he has to get to work, which is 2 hours away from where we are, and so he's going to drive home. I took his keys and gave them so someone else. I told them not to tell me where they were because I didn't trust myself with them. Then we took W outside. He walked up and down the apartment complex in the dark while we tried to follow him and talk to him. After a couple of laps I suggested he try running because it felt really good to me. I turned to him but he was mumbling to himself and when I began listening he screamed out “God is hootie hoo!!”. He repeated this over and over again as well as something about finding the perfect universe and understanding it now. I was scared for him at this point in time and I wanted him to be quiet because I thought he would be waking up the neighbors and someone might call the police. I looked across the street and saw a cop car parked in front of one of the apartments but I knew somehow that he lived there and wasn’t after us.

I’m in the bathroom again. It’s the one place where everything seems right. I have this overwhelming feeling that for the first time in my life my head is thinking normally. Its like I’m home at last after a very long confusing trip. I find myself looking down into the toilet bowl and having to throw up again.. Across the surface of the water I see clear amoeba like shapes geometrically cut out into gingerbread men. This is the first time I have seen something so clearly in a hallucination. I could move closer to them and close my eyes and move my head around but they were still there just the same. I realized it was because they were real and I was tapping into some kind of “super-reality”. I looked closer and before me then men were duplicating and folding inward into the middle of the toilet. They were forming a complex pattern similar to the infinite triangular one in the movie “pi”. It was spiraling inward in perfection showing me the equation for infinity, time and space. There was an orb that had formed inside the toilet where within fit the entirety of all existence. Suddenly I could grasp the concept of what time really was. I felt a welling up within me as if my stomach were growing huge and trying to come out of my stomach. I bent over the edge of the toilet further and looked deep inside through the orb and to the hole where the water empties out. I thought if only I could push myself through that little hole I would be able to bring all of this knowledge back with me. Then as I was about to puke I noticed the mildew around the edge of the toilet seat. It became little men and I knew I was just hallucinating again. But the little mildew dudes told me not to puke there, that it was too dirty and that if I’m going to purge my spirit it needs to be outside into the earth so she can heal me back up afterwards. I got up and walked outside.

We are back outside and W is lying on the ground. He doesn’t seem to know who we are and he is crying saying that he is in hell because he found out what heaven really is. He is saying something about god and how he feels sorry for him because know he knows what it feels like. The sun is beginning to rise and it’s getting lighter outside. I start to worry about the cop that lives across the street and I start begging him to come inside where we won’t get in trouble. This goes on for at least an hour. It sends him into some kind of time loop that he thinks he can’t get out of so Z goes inside to get help. Our wonderful healer friend comes outside and gets down on his knees over W. He smiles down at him and says “good morning sunshine”. With his words W looks up and we can see him return to this reality. The 3 of us try to get him to take a xanax and drink some orange juice but he just spits it out. Eventually though, he gets up and walks inside where he lays down on the couch and calms down.

Z and I are close together on a bench by the lake and our hearts are beating together. I ask her is she can feel how connected we are and how we are thinking and breathing together. But I look up and she doesn’t seem to even hear me. We walk to the front of the apartments and realize that the party has died down. Most people left are sleeping but we aren’t tired so we clean up all the beer bottles and trash outside. Our wonderful healer friend comes outside again and I watch the apartments across from us stretch up sleepily and take one final breath as the roofs rise up and fall and they fall asleep. Z is baseline and I am only tripping lightly so we decide it’s time to go to sleep now at about 10 am.

The three of us slept soundly until late afternoon the next day. W missed work and we all felt a bit hung over. This was one of the most spiritual trips I have ever had and I definitely learned some amazing things from it. Z thought it was ok but I don’t think it was nearly as intense for her as it was for us. W did have a rough time and he was exhausted afterwards… but a matter of weeks later he sent me pictures of his “babies”! 30 or so half inch tall “mushies” growing in his room that he loved so dearly. He decided he needed to go back to that place and finish the journey he got scared of and stopped I guess. For months after this trip I gained the ability to draw intricate tribal patterns. Anytime I am near mushrooms now I almost feel like they are talking to me, and when I ingest them I feel like my mother is wrapping her arms safely around me telling me everything will be ok. They will talk to you if you are willing to listen.

I recommend these kind of higher doses for those types of souls that don’t feel the desire to hold onto themselves as they are and aren’t afraid to rewire a few things permanently. I will never be the same.

Exp Year: 2002	ExpID: 19907
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Oct 1, 2005	Views: 16,094
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Mushrooms - P. cubensis (66) : Difficult Experiences (5), Glowing Experiences (4), Mystical Experiences (9), Small Group (2-9) (17)