DOSE:

smoked

5-MeO-DMT

(powder / crystals)

BODY WEIGHT:

90 kg

He told me to inhale as much as I could, breathe it in, breathe it in deeply. I held it. Something happened, and I remember saying 'Woah', and hearing people around me say something like 'Haha, she said woah!' - except I couldn't hold on to the voices, they swam around my head and echoed through every part of myself and the universe.

Then, blackness. Later I was told it was blackness with a smile.

When I finally regained control of my head, I was floating, I was one with the universe, and my vision returned, giving me images of what I was floating within, blue sky and thick cotton ball clouds. They were almost digital, warping in to each other and myself. I had no awareness of my physical body. Things were good, briefly. Not that I knew this at the time. I recall no thought process, I wasn't thinking at all, just simply experiencing.

Then something snapped, perhaps the return to the physical realm. I became aware of my breathing, it was heavy and uneven. I looked down at my hands and somewhere along the way I had dropped what I was holding and my fists were clenched. I tried to lift my head but it felt like a weight, it felt un-naturally heavy. I lay back and told myself to enjoy the ride, I knew what I was doing, and I should appreciate the experience while it lasted. It didn't work. Panic and terror set in. I knew that I was messing with a chemical released in the brain when you die, so I somehow convinced myself that I wasn't going to survive.

I was so hot, so very hot. It took me a long time to figure out that that was what was wrong. I looked around and apparently had held a captive audience, including my best friend who had not been there when I first inhaled. She looked worried. I thought about speaking, but it was like my mouth wasn't connected to my brain. I knew what I wanted to say, and it was simple enough - water, water - but nothing came out, until I said 'I don't like this' without realising. I said it a few more times, and then asked for water.

It was then I started to feel the worst nausea I have ever felt. I ran to the toilet and vomited everywhere, and felt immediately better. Emotionally though, I was broken. After a good cry I looked up, and those cotton ball clouds I had appreciated earlier had formed into looming dark storm clouds.

I felt the storm coming. And I was reborn. What a perfect beginning.

Exp Year: 2002	ExpID: 17378
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Sep 10, 2002	Views: 9,355
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5-MeO-DMT (58) : First Times (2), Difficult Experiences (5), Small Group (2-9) (17)