DOSE:

smoked

Crack

(powder / crystals)

BODY WEIGHT:

140 lb

All along I thought nothing could ever happen to me, but I was wrong. I was out of high school and going to college, working and partying on the side. I had done other drugs before like weed, coke and x, but this time I wanted to try crack. I did it with one of my ex-boyfriends who was a previous crackhead but had quit and bought quantities from his friend.

At first it was small amounts like $20 or $30 worth then it got to $100 a day. I started skipping college first to go get high, then work, finally I wouldn't even come home for days. I didn't know myself anymore and neither did my family. This went on for months, I would get mood swings when I didn't have any and I started pawning my things, even my sisters jewlery. We would go to hotel rooms to get fucked up and I remember crying every morning when the crack would finish.

I would try to blame these feeling of depression on my family and myself and I didn't give a damn about anyone. All I wanted was to do some rock and die if I had to. I began to isolate myself from family and friends that cared about me and didn't let anyone know about my problem. Anywhere we would smoke crack I would feel paranoia and my heart would race I felt like someone was out to get me or that someone was gonna catch me smoking. I dropped alot of weight because I wouldn't eat. I remember sleeping at 7 in the morning waking up at 3 or 4 P.M. taking a shower and then buying more crack and starting my same routine each day.

Now I think of all the time I wasted and the trust that was lost. I wouldn't have stopped if it wasn't for my oldest sister who went to get me. I had to move to another town and start my life again with no friends or nothing. Sometimes I think of going back to my hometown but the thought of crack hurts my chest and I can't take the chance of starting that shit again. I feel like I still want it sometimes, just one more hit on the coke can, one more inhalation of rock. I can't forget it, but I try to take one more chance in living my life and erase the past.

Exp Year: 2002	ExpID: 16250
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jul 24, 2002	Views: 33,516
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