DOSE: T+ 0:00	25 mg	oral	Amphetamines	(pill / tablet)
T+ 10:00	3 bowls	smoked	Lotus/Lily - Nymphaea nouchali var caerulea	(dried)
T+ 0:00	3 hits	smoked	Salvia divinorum	(extract - 5x)

BODY WEIGHT:

148 lb

MY SOUL WANDERS, TRANSCRIPT AS FOLLOWS:

As I write this, I am still held in awe of a salvia experience I had last night. This was so different I feel like I need to sit down and recount everything that happened so I can remember it myself without it slipping into white noise at the back of my mind.

To start off, I was home alone on a Saturday night, had gotten off work at about four, didn’t get to go work out at Gold’s, so I called up my friend to see if I could get any mushrooms from him, and it turned out he wasn’t home. I had purchased 25grams of Blue Lotus flower material along with 3grams 5X-extract of Salvia about a month ago, and still had quite a bit of each left.

I started off by burning some incense I had picked up from the local headshop, putting on Moby’s new CD … which set the surreal mood perfectly. I broke out my glass pipe that is my pride and joy, which I purchased for $5 from a friend even though its hand-blown glass with different inlaid design and worth $65 in any headshop.

I then proceeded to smoke 3 bowls of Blue Lotus in front of my PC watching a cool plug-in, but being more entranced by the thick, heavy smoke that hung in the air in front of my mouth. I was blowing some smoke rings with the stuff, holding it all in and letting it kind of filter and drift upwards with the incense towards to ceiling, and getting quite the opiate sense that somehow my body was disappearing.

I was feeling pretty good at this point (I had been really sore from working out heavily all week, but at this time I could feel no soreness) but I will point out that Blue Lotus doesn’t make me stoned or anything like that, just gives me an open door to my aura, and it also kind of works as a disassociative I think, if the definition of a disassociative is that of a feeling of detachment from one’s body.

My fingers were shaking as I opened the small sack of salvia, why I don’t know, but I loaded about half a bowl of the stuff and was once again surprised at how spiritual it looked sitting in the bowl, how different and holy it was from marijuana or anything else I’d smoked.

At this point I will say that I have smoked salvia three times, none of which I have experienced the mind-blowing effects that I have heard from others. The first time I took three good sized hits with a friend and really didn’t experience much, even though I had worked extra-hard at setting the perfect mood. My second time I was at my house just wanting to alter my consciousness a little bit, and so I smoked out on my porch, then felt the tendrils of Salvia’s hands pulling at my tongue through the back of my skull but somehow I escaped the full potential of the leaf at that time… My third time was a totally flat experience in terms of spirituality, although I had a really cool time sitting around the house watching stuff flicker and move and watching my Magic Mushroom Light, which is famous among my circle of friends. I then spent about half an hour watching plug-in swirl as I got caught in them while listening to Moby on Winamp.

Before I actually describe the experience, I will say that I hadnt gone into a lot of preparation for the setting in which I would be smoking, since it was kind of spontaneous, and also due to the fact that when I did put in a lot of time preparing my setting, the actual smoking experience wasn’t as good. As to the dosage, I am not sure exactly how much I smoked, but it was two good-sized hits followed short thereafter by a third mind-blowingly large hit. Also, earlier in the day (about 9-10 hours before) I had taken 25 mg of Dexotrostat (dextro-amphetamine) at work to help me through the day… but I’m not sure if this at all related to the experience. I might try to experiment with different combinations at a later time.

This time I was anxious to experience more, but had just read some accounts of some people’s harsh or unexpectedly forceful experience with the leaf, and how not to do it without a sitter, etc. etc. … but I felt justified in not having one, since I didn’t know anyone I felt comfortable sitting for me at the time. So pipe in hand I hit the flame and watched the Salvia crystals turn into a glowing flower of fire in the pipe while the chamber filled, I popped my thumb off the carb-hole, and took my first big hit. I held it in for thirty-seconds or so and immediately felt the parallel universe gripping my subconsciouness self from behind, pulling me deeper into another realm. As I exhaled I was belonging less and less to my every-day world, and was becoming a part of something totally unfamiliar.

My second hit was deep, and I didn’t hold it in for the full thirty seconds, but I felt I was being pulled deeper and deeper … I knew this going to be good. My lungs were already primed and expanded from smoking the Blue Lotus, and I decided to take one more hit from the pipe before settling back to enjoy the ride. As I semi-consciously began grooving to Moby I picked up the pipe and put the bic-lighter to the bowl. Time seemed to slow as I inhaled against the glass, saw the cherry of the Salvia flower light up and glow, effervescent in its holiness. It was alive in the bowl, but dying, I was sucking all the fire from it and it was slowing melting into a small ball of grey ash … I was objectively observing this without realizing the consequences of my actions.

I flipped my thumb off the carb-hole and inhaled, then the epiphany hit me – that I had just inhaled about the biggest iron-lunged hit I could possibly hold inside, my mind was going like a freight train rumbling across the mad american night, and all the smoke was oozing out my mouth, nose, and ears (at least it felt like it) and I coughed and blew it out. My lungs were feeling like hot ice, burning with a cold sense of being somehow frozen in all the smoke I had inhaled. I was blinking and thinking “oh, shit” I really was being pulled deeper into this Salvia trip and knew I had just injested the largest amount of Salvia anyone could take in at one time. I knew this was going to be some trip, but I was thinking this subconsciously, all I thought wasn’t really a part of me it was a part of this old person who had smoked the leaf, but now I was this unstoppable eternal being separated from my room, my house, my life, my eyes.

“People there come together, people there fall apart,
No one can stop us now, ‘cause we are all made of stars”

The stereo was speaking my mantra for the evening, and I remembered that I needed to breathe, that I had been holding my breath this whole time (how long had it been?) and my respiratory system once again started functioning, and I still felt little trails of Salvia smoke come drifting out from the dark cobwebbed corners of my lungs that had never been touched before. I felt like something was gripping at my throat, and I stumbled out to the back porch, where everything looked somehow vastly different from what I remembered it. I leaned over on my haunches and coughed violently a few times, almost expecting to puke … but the urge soon left, and as I coughed I looked into the grass and small that it was waving like fine little hairs - green-medusa snake hairs – that were all waving in harmony with one another, and patterns (subtle mental patterns is the best way to describe them) began to appear on the ground. At this point I experienced a total loss of self, and decided that I would go back inside and lay down and listen to some music and see what would happen.

Back inside I felt like I was in a totally foreign place, nothing had any meaning to me, nothing was my possession, it was all object. It was a weird feeling, so I turned all the lights out, turned the air conditioner on, and laid down with Moby still playing softly.

The first part of my trip was over, and the second leg began. I was stepping off the waiting platform and onto the spaceship now. One last look at home as I laid down on my bed … I looked at the high window on the opposite side of my room – I saw that the full moon was shining radiantly in the small half crescent window, and that I could only see it if I laid down in the position I normally do to sleep.

It seemed like it was a radiantly-holy moment or omen. The fan overhead was on, and the blades seemed to rush and swirl the whole room around them, and the moon had wholly grabbed me and had pulled me in. I was somehow transcendent and through the other side of the window I was looking through, and this scared me. The room I was in no longer seemed to exist, the only thing that existed (or mattered) was the music, and the moon through the small crescent window… it was so beautiful.

It was fate that allowed the moon to revolve around the earth at precisely this moment that I held until time began, becoming apart of the moon. Then I started mental/auditory hallucinating, “I am meeting God” kept echoing in my mind, and I was meeting God, it struck me that the moon was his eye that revolved around us as we sleep, and that I had the special priviledge to see this. This knowledge was extraordinarily overwhelming, and at that moment, I felt like I was being sucked into another parallel dimension, deeper and a plane past that which was the altered one I was already in. Overhead, the fan seemed loud as an airplane intake, and my hearing was distorted, I felt like I was hearing everything through this whooshed echoing drum inside my head. The fan was vibrated and that whole room was shaking under this oscillation, and I reached up and turned it off, because I didn’t want my room to be caught in a vortex or tornado or something.

The instant I turned it off, I heard raindrops hitting the roof, like a thunderstorm had just blown in and started dumping its contents on my roof. A second after I recognized that this indeed was what the noise was, I started feeling these raindrops hit and plunk on my metaphysical self … this was really interestingly cool, but I didn’t think it actually was raining, it seemed to be raining in another sense of the word. In fact, all words seemed at that point to have different senses, different ways and different planes on which we could use them, and this was just another metamorphosis of the fact.

My mind was settling down a bit after I turned off the fan, which had made everything seem like a black hole into which it was being sucked in – and I still felt the lingering halucinating rain and the moonbeams were falling mentally across the room while I stood in quicksand carpet waiting for something to happen.

“At least we were together, holding hands
flying through the sky.”

The words from the music kept repeating themselves over and over in my mind, and I then decided I would go outside to see if it was really raining, and if that deep whooshing OHHMMMM I felt when I had been laying down was something outside, or was it really a part of the Void that I knew was behind everything. As I walked through my living room, the old part of myself that was still alive in the back of my mind was saying, “Well now I know why people recommend using a sitter, otherwise you end up doing stupid stuff like wandering around looking for raindrops like I am doing right now!”

This thought was so fleeting I am not really sure if I even thought it or not, but I know I did because then I started laughing, because I realized how absurd that was, because here I was actually seeing things that were meaning things to be, as if I was a part of something larger, and beyond me. I was scared, but comfortable in this place.

I stepped out on the back porch, and saw the porch-light fall on the patio in weird angles, and I saw a train go flashing by in the night (I live right behind traintracks, so this wasn’t a hallucination) and heard the deep rumbling echo through my mind as I felt (or seemed to) the vibrations from the tracks. It cognitively dawned on me that this was the disturbing noise I had heard in my room, but then I dismissed that as ludricrous and irrelevant, because my room was in a different universe, and was no longer of any consequence because it was existent in another part of my mind.

Then I turned and looked at the sky. The clouds were a thin sheet of white, and suddenly – IT grabbed me: the Moon. I stood with my face to the wind, and looked at the moon. For a moment it seemed as if there were more than one, and I looked closer and they all coalesced into a single moon that had halos of gold around it. As I stood staring into the moon with my long hair blowing all around my face and my semi-naked body (I was wearing only psychedelic briefs) I had a notion that on some level I was communing, or one with (there are really no words for what I felt, so I don’t know how to decribe it corectly) Jim Morrison on some level … I really don’t know what exactly it was was, but I felt some connection with him, distinctly remember saying to myself as I stared into the moon, “This is how he must have felt…”

Suddenly as I stared into the moon, bright sunrays began to project from it and it was like the sun while I stared into its brightness, haloed by a ring of cloud that was swirling and changing different geometric patterns as I stood looking into it. The sky was a deep purple, and changed to light purple the closer it got to the moon, which was a pink/light purple/ gold color until it faded into where the edges of the Moon met the Void, and interlocked.

I kept repeating to myself “I know God, I am meeting God. I know this is God himself in manifest.” And I know at that moment somehow I met God. I found myself standing eternally on a coastline or seashore, and the clouds were lapping themselves on the shores of the moon, who was changing between shades of gold and purple around it. I was wholly transcendent at this point, no longer belonging to my body, although it was through my body that I remained grounded in existence on this side of reality. It was my first truly out-of-body eternal moment, and I will never forget it. There seemed to be this silent music playing all around that everything was apart of, and I don’t know exactly how long I stood there staring; it could’ve been 2 minutes, or it might have have been 2 hours. (I estimate it was close or between 4-6 minutes.)

I went back inside, comforted that the noise I heard was not a black hole of sorts in my room, that it was only a train, and somehow glad now I could appreciate the coolness of the hallucination without being scared by it. I was also basking in the moonbeam glow from that transcendent experience as well, and back in my room I felt time moving now in little vignette segments and not fluidly or dynamically. Then I perceived time didn’t really exist at all, but we could possibly live forever in a few moments, because there was no time. (I don’t know if I was thinking or realizing this at that moment, but now as I look back and remember this is how it felt.)

I turned my fan back on once I got into my room because I felt a little warm, and I crawled into bed, facing the wall. I didn’t feel like looking into the Moon’s eyes anymore, because I’d already felt the radiance of the fully holy moment and was content. It seemed like my room had shrunk, and in some sense I’d grown existentially large, because it seemed nothing outside myself was really important, and anything that I felt was coming from inside.

I thought that at this point the trip would be subsiding, but it was continuing full force. I was really enjoying this in an interesting way – as I was looking at the pillows they started having weird patterns grow and spread through them. I closed my eyes (I couldn’t hear the music anymore even it was playing, or the fan though it was on … I seemed totally tuned out to anything going on outside of my mind).

The instant I closed my eyes, it was as though a geometrically-patterned universe had opened itself up to me. My first impression was that of this vast ball of something (I’ll say string, since that fits the mental description as best as it can), so there was this great ball of string, or strand of infinity or something that really had no origin, but was being spun and unwound, much like a roll of toilet-paper or something, except multi-dimensionally. It seemed as though I was one with time, and we were both apart of this object that was being unraveled at greater and greater speeds. At this point my body could actually feel the pull and sensation of this hallucination/lucid-dream state I was in. I was truly on a metaphysical plane of being at this time.

I felt like I was spinning and swirling with this figment strand of infinity, along this black hole void of nothingness – then a pinpoint of light coalesced in my vision at the very center of me and I began to ride along this point of light/blackness/nothingness (it seemed to embody all of these qualities) and swirl faster and faster with it, opening up new paths through eternity as I traveled. Soon I had lost all sense of myself at all, and somehow managed to open my eyes and pull out from it before being totally submersed in it. It was awesome, but more than a little unnerving. Time had truly stopped.

Then I began to see that the room was changing, that patterns from my CEVs (closed eye visuals) were taking over, and I was seeing walls glitter with shimmering effervescense or something and patterns were re-emerging on my pillows and spilling over onto the wall… I decided to close my eyes again and lose myself in the visions.

This time I closed my eyes, immediately there infinite strands of what looked to be DNA, but soon it all came into focus, and was strands of PEOPLE inside the strands which were all spinning and entwining to meet at a focal point that was fixed in the center of my vision that was something like the ORIGIN OF EVERYTHING. I don’t know how else to describe it.

Then at some point I became a small speck of consciousness speeding along this dark landscape at this really high speed (speed didn’t have an exact definition, so I know it was really fast). Everything was morphing into black/purple, and I could make out a skyline to which I was going towards, and soon I was THERE, speeding along this freeway with the music of the cosmos in the background, and I was truly there. I had not only the mental sense of being in another world, I was truly there. My body was experiencing all of the phenomena of travel at high-speed, my eyes could function even though they were closed. It was an alter-universe I was in.

At that point I remember thinking, “so I guess aliens do really exist, because I’ve been transplanted to their world.”

This went on for a while, and I cant really remember the details, except I was on a totall alien planet embodied in some other form of consciousness for while, it was totally comforting, wondrous and totally unexplainable. I don’t think it was the ultimate peak of a Salvia experience, but I think it was somewhere close, and I want to really see how far I could go into this, but it scares me a little…

Anyways, after this I am not really sure what happen or how long, but somewhere along the line there was this transition from this alter universe to actually seeing three-dimensional objects in what seemed to be really high-tech computer animation. I think I was very close to sleep at this point, so I really don’t know what the visuals were, I just remember being pleasantly surprised and the realness of what I was seeing, and the somehow it was close to acid visuals, but somehow more individual (if that makes sense) and more personal.

The last thing I remember before slipping off to sleep and into lucid dreaming was that I was spinning around on this midnight merry-go-round that was covered in blue/greem lightening geometric patterns and I could feel my body spinning around in a bumpy, gelantinous circle…

Overall, this experience makes me a firm believer in the potential of Salvia, and its unexpected nature, since I had heard (and previously experienced) that Blue Lotus nullifies that intense disorientation and mental dissasociation from everything. Well I guess this isn't true, and last nights Salvia experience was a wonderful thing to have experienced. The best part is that this morning I still find some odd sense of visuals distorted or something imperceptible that is still off. It isn't trippy, but sometimes noticable if I pay attention to it. It’s quite cool, plus I’m still listening to Moby and his songs are simply the most smooth-soothing music I can imagine. I didn’t have any sort of after-affects at all, just bad dry cotton-mouth like when I smoke weed, but not so hollow feeling.

Exp Year: 2002	ExpID: 14934
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Dec 10, 2004	Views: 42,996
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Lotus/Lily - Nymphaea nouchali var caerulea (105), Salvia divinorum (44) : Alone (16), Mystical Experiences (9), Combinations (3)