DOSE:

repeated

inhaled

Nitrous Oxide

(gas)

The complete story would fill volumes, and it has a need to be told, both to let others know of a dimension that exists in which all of our questions are answered, in which life's mysteries can be revealed, where God and Soul make absolute sense, and in which truth and madness are the same universe. But this tale is a warning, not an advertisement, and should those who read it decide to explore the world that I have come to know as 'Gascid', beware to the extreme - not only of Gascid, but more specifically of Nitrous. It is not the innocuous instrument of enlightenment that it may seem.

My brother coined the term 'Gascid' to describe the combination of Nitrous Oxide on top of LSD, although I believe that I may well have been the first to have discovered it - and if not I am certainly one of the most experienced. I have done over 1500 doses of LSD over the last 20 years and of those, about 300 were done in combination with Nitrous oxide. I read an article here 'Smeared Across Infinity' and inside surged with empathy for the fortunate voyager who experienced this psychedelic synergy.

To me, Gascid is a 'place', not a drug combination. It would take a novel to explain a single experience. I do not want to write 300 novels. Gascid is quite simply the most profound experience that there is. For me, it *is* truth - or was - I no longer do it (although I remember everything). Because of it, I am no longer who I was, and will never again be 'normal' in any way, for which I am eternally grateful. While I would like to write on the subjective experiences and journeys that I have undertaken, the things that I have seen and experienced and the understanding of everything that has come out of those experiences, this writing is not about Gascid, but about Nitrous Oxide and the dangers involved in its abuse.

For the moment, let us put the wonders of Gascid aside, because Gascid was never a problem for me (although most 'normal' people would consider me completely insane, something I also care little about), but at one point Nitrous Oxide became one, and now, seven years later, I still suffer from the effects of that problem.

For reasons that are unimportant for the telling of this tale, I slipped from moderate Gascid use to using Nitrous by itself. I have now read a few articles by people who travelled down that slippery slope and thank the spirits that I am not alone in my foolishness and suffering.

A time came where I began to use Nitrous for more than than my Gascid experiments. I was using 'whippits' as my source of Nitrous which complicated matters financially and nearly destroyed my marriage. I cannot remember the exact point at which I crossed over from being a psychedelic explorer and scientist to Nitrous addict, but it was marked by the fact that I began using Nitrous without LSD. It escalated to a point where I was using it daily. The 'addiction', of which I was totally unaware as even being potential, kicked in so violently and instantaneously took me completely by surprise. This was before the Internet, and I believed that my 'problem' was unique. I had nowhere to turn, no-one to trust for fear of what they would think of me. So I continued using Nitrous dialy. I was a musician by profession and I ended up not going to gigs as I was too hung up on Nitrous or felt too horrible to go. I was still under the impression that as long as you took breaks and breathed air for a while, you would be fine.

What I did not realize is that the effects of chronic nitrous use are cumulative. Hypoxia is a reality and I was slowly killing myself by degrees. I knew that I was in trouble, but I carried on. I simply could not stop, even though I felt/knew deep down that I was doing irreparable damage to myself.

Finally, at a gig, taking hits of Nitrous between sets, the tips of my fingers went numb. Within a week I was in a neurological ward. I had lost all physical sensation other than tingling and numbness. I had lost all motor control and could no longer pick up a cup, let alone play a musical instrument. An MRI showed that I had suffered serious demylination of the nerves in my neck (and ultimately throughout my entire nervous sytem). I had suffered brain damage. I have never fully recovered.

I cannot even begin to describe the horror that was the next year of my life. Every time I bent my neck I experienced electric 'shocks' throughout my body. The physical 'withdrawal' (in junkie terms) lasted three months - every moment of every day. Then the shocks were replaced by pain, chronic, intense, neverending, for years and years and years. Naturally I could never tell physicians the truth and because my life was not in danger per se, I was not allowed access to pain killers. There was no treatment.

I have survived. I am still alive. I have two kids now who fill a lot of my void. I still live with permanent discomfort, but over the years the condition has slowly improved to the point where I am no longer suicidal. Perhaps in another seven years I will be completely healed.

Gascid is a gateway to to true perception. Nitrous oxide can be worse than lethal. Those of you that want to experiment, do so - it's why the drugs exists, but BEWARE - Nitrous Oxide is not harmless. Be frugal, stay in control - never do it regularly - and if you *are* losing control, get help. The result of abuse can be worse than death.

Exp Year: 2000	ExpID: 142
Gender: Not Specified
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jul 11, 2001	Views: 31,853
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Nitrous Oxide (40) : Addiction & Habituation (10), Various (28)