DOSE: T+ 0:00	100 mg	oral	MDMA	(capsule)
T+ 2:27		vaporized	Cannabis

BODY WEIGHT:

105 lb

Background: At the time of the experience, I’m a college student in my early 20’s who enjoys edm, raving, and festivals. I would consider myself a curious experimenter, but I have not yet tried “hard” drugs. My only experience thus far has been alcohol, marijuana, and nicotine which I would say is pretty common. I will say I have had more bad trips on marijuana than good ones and have tried every method – pen, edibles, bong, prerolls. By bad trips, I mean being paranoid and having a way too fast heartbeat which only added to the paranoia, so let’s just say I was pretty anxious for my first roll.

I decided the perfect time to have my first roll was at an edm event that my favorite artist was holding at the most beautiful venue. It would also be my second time at this venue/event with my rave fam, so I felt excited and comfortable going into this.

I researched the effects of molly and everything from preparation to what to do post-roll. Before taking molly, I took magnesium, alpha lipolic acid, and vitamin c. 24 hours after taking molly, I took all three of the vitamins as well as 5htp. For 5htp, I took one a day for 4 days after, although I’m not sure if you really need to take that much, just wanted to feel extra safe.

Before the event, I had obtained pure molly from a trusted source. It was pure crystal form, but we still tested it to be free from any worries. I got 2 points (200 mg), 1 point for myself and 1 point for my friend. We crushed it up into powder form and I roughly estimated half each and put them inside empty capsules. I literally had no clue what I was doing because I didn’t have a scale and no one in my group had done this before. Since I had a lot of empty capsules and was scared to take 100mg at once, I decided to split my dose into 3 capsules so around 1/3 each. This eased my nerves tremendously because I wanted to see how my body would react without taking too much at once. I had also heard that it’s common for people to split their capsules in half, so I was essentially replicating this. Naturally, some had more inside than other capsules since I eyeballed everything.

Before heading to the venue, my group got some fast food since that would be the last meal we will have in awhile. For some reason, I never like eating too much, if at all, before raves so this time was no different. One of my friends in the group who rolls often had told me to eat more but I just wasn’t feeling it. The last thing I wanted was to get nauseous or throw up during this which I heard was common during a come up.

We got to the venue around 5:30 PM and the event was set to last around 12 AM. My group was pregaming, but I wanted to make sure I experienced this in pure form, so I decided not to drink or vape at all then.

T + 00:00 [8:35 PM]
I take my first capsule which I’m assuming has around 1/3 of 100mg. I wait around 30-40 minutes, checking my phone for the time, but feel nothing, as expected. This was just a good test to see if my body would react horribly to it. I made sure to either have some gum in my mouth or some lollipops to ensure my mouth had something to do before I felt any effects.

T + 01:00 [9:35 PM]
I took my second capsule, again with around 1/3 of 100mg. I’m assuming it won’t do much since the general rule is to take your weight in kg + 50mg. I have my Vicks’ menthol stick in hand.

T + 01:40 [10:15 PM]
I wasn’t expecting to take the third capsule, for some reason I still thought I would feel something with the two capsules I made. But I wanted this moment to count and feel amazing like I was at the perfect venue, favorite artist, and great people so I knew I was safe. At this time, one of the openers had just finished their set and the crowd was insane. They were pushing and I was exhausted, so I took this last capsule while sitting on the ground and my group thought I was coming up right then. Maybe I was but I was more exhausted from getting pushed around for a whole hour without feeling much from the molly, so I decided to take my last capsule which had the most amount and was least crushed up. I was still terrified of feeling the effects too strongly, so I opened the capsule and split the powder in half, gave some to my other friend who was rolling, and dropped the rest on the ground. I take the capsule and hope for the best before my favorite artist starts playing.

T + 02:10 [10:45 PM]
I began to sway my body more, but I can’t tell if it’s because my favorite artist is playing the best set right now. This is day 2 of the artist’s event and they are playing some of their old and new songs which sounds insane live. I notice the lasers, music, and vibe are just too good and I can’t help but keep smiling. It was the combination of the set and the beginning effects of molly that created this pure happiness in me that was quite noticeable. My group was having a blast and I felt so happy and grateful to be there at that moment.

T + 02:27 [11:12 PM]
One of my intentions going into this experience was to record videos like I always do at these events. It helps me relive the moment and experience that similar feeling later, so I wanted no different this time. However, from 11:12 PM – 11:40 PM, I noticed I didn’t record any videos. I believe this 30ish minute period was when I was peaking. I remember hitting my friend’s vape right before this. I honestly believe that increased my high.

I don’t remember too much of this period except for the fact that I could feel my head rolling back several times. When my friends were either behind me or had their arms around me, I let me head roll back to experience the lasers. The lasers were INCREDIBLE!! I wanted to see how far they went, and I just noticed myself looking up a lot. I was truly mesmerized, a feeling I haven’t really experienced since probably childhood.

The best feeling to describe this moment is pure calm happy. I didn’t want to put my sunglasses on even though I knew my pupils were dilated because I wanted to experience the lights and lasers with my raw eyes. They were just so colorful and beautiful I was so happy. I sniffed my menthol stick and it feels purely amazing. It helps ground me and I feel this sense of security while sniffing it.

T + 02:55 [11:40 PM]
I snap out of this trance-like state I was in because the artist plays one of their more melodic song. This song reminds me of my uncle who passed a few years ago and it perfectly encompasses how I was feeling at that time. Coincidentally, the song was released a few weeks after he passed too.

As soon as the drop hit, the set was filled with the most colorful lasers and I don’t know why I thought this but in that moment I knew that both my uncle and my grandma, who also recently passed, were more than ok up there. It was this overwhelming feeling that everything is ok that filled me up and it added to the calm happy feeling I was overall experiencing. I’m not a religious person and didn’t grow up to be one, but I would consider myself a spiritual person. I want to add that before this experience, I prayed about my first roll to go as smoothly as possible and to have fun. I felt like this was an amazing sign that not only was I more than ok, but they were also ok. I kept saying “This is incredible” multiple times, especially when the drop of the song was about to hit. Looking back, it truly was an incredible feeling.

At this point, I felt like time was moving so slowly in the best possible way. I felt like I was alert and could enjoy the present moment so much. As each song played, I felt like I could enjoy every lyric and every drop fully. I have never felt so present at a rave before. I always felt like time moved by so quickly and I practically missed half the rave, usually from being too drunk. This time it was the complete opposite, and I was obsessed with this feeling.

T + 03:15 [12:00 AM]
The event eventually ends, and my group decides to take pictures. Looking back at these pics, I can see how dilated my pupils are. I still felt alert at that moment, but I wasn’t aware of how I would look to other people. I can’t lie, I looked a little insane.

The car ride home was a blur, but I remember bonding with my other experienced friend and conversing with her all night. We were hugging, cuddling, and kissed each other throughout the night although we are both straight and she had her man with her. It was this pure friendly love that felt so good and comforting, and the knowing that we both understood how each other felt at that moment.

I don’t think molly made me forget as much as if I were drunk, but there were definitely conversations my group and I had that I don’t remember much of. Also, besides the 30 minutes that I was peaking, I felt like being in the moment helped me remember not only the rave but how I felt in each moment deeper.

The day after, I did not have a comedown, except I could feel my jaw was tight every time I opened it. I had a slight headache, but the jaw pain was bothering me more. It was probably because I kept chewing my gum, but that prevented me from jaw clenching, although I can’t tell if I ended up clenching my jaw during my sleep.

48 hours after, I had my comedown. I felt really tired, slow, and groggy and had little motivation to go on with my day. Overall, I felt worn out. Luckily, I planned for this to happen, so I didn’t have any classes or work scheduled, just had some quick errands to run with my close friend who was not on the trip with us. It allowed me to reconnect with her and tell her about my experience, which helped a lot. As much as she was nervous and cautioned me about doing this, I was so appreciative that she was understanding, had an open mind, and was glad I was safe and happy.

Reflection
This year has not been easy. It has been filled with a lot of change and reflection. My intention of using molly was to experience pure happiness with the assistance of a drug, a feeling I had not experienced for a while at that point. With my grandmother’s passing, it has been difficult to cope, and I have found myself consistently distracted, and keeping myself busy. Some days are extremely difficult and other days are slightly easier. Molly helped me to see the beauty of life again and live in the present moment, free from any stress, worries, and concern.

I knew what I was getting myself into and how powerful the drug can be. However, I felt immense comfort knowing that while the feeling can be addictive, the drug cannot be abused without losing its magic. After the experience, I learned how powerful the mind is and I can see how people long to chase this feeling. I hope to experience this feeling again but will wait at least 3-6 months before dropping again.

Takeaways
1. Take vitamins before and after roll. I want to attribute this amazing experience due to the amount of research and preparation I did.
2. Have an open and positive mindset. Set intentions prior. It can truly make or break the experience.
3. STAY HYDRATED!! Take sips of water throughout the duration of roll.
4. Make sure you are taking it with people you love and trust, in a positive atmosphere – whether that is at a rave or music festival, or in a calmer setting.
5. Test your drug and obtain from a trusted source, for obvious reasons. :)

Exp Year: 2024	ExpID: 118225
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 21
Published: Nov 16, 2024	Views: 15
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MDMA (3) : Rave / Dance Event (18), Glowing Experiences (4), Combinations (3)