DOSE:		vaporized	DMT
	repeated	insufflated	Ketamine	(powder / crystals)
			Pharms - Trazodone

BODY WEIGHT:

195 lb

S = Stage
Number between 0-100 with 0 being sober and 100 being at peak high. If the number is divisible by two, I was grounded in reality, if it ends with 5 I was out of touch with reality.

The dosage was roughly 1/4 of a gram, potentially 200 mg.

This was not my first-time snorting ketamine, I have enough time and experience with low to moderate dosages and have experienced minor moments of disillusion with reality, however, this experience was my first K hole. I started the ceremony with the intention to smoke DMT however we ran out of the stronger cart and resorted to a weaker strain. The high it delivered was beautiful, but not out of body. Ketamine was plan B.

S – 0
To my right, I am sitting next to a deaf man and to my left, I am sitting next to my cousin's new boyfriend. My cousin moves to sit in front of each of us holding the gram of ketamine as we scoop clumps of white dust on individual bumpers. She sits in front of me and shows me how large of the dose I should snort to enter the K hole. I take two large scoops and sit back to wait for the onset.

S – 5
The initial onset kicks in and I wait to sense the intensity before I take my next doses. I can already tell was at an adequate dose, as the people in the room I am with slowly start disassociating from my perception and I begin to follow my own trip. I was going into it slightly high from a weak DMT pen and was anticipating an out-of-body experience. I began to feel my body turn into a pile of jello and warm liquids, I was entering that dream-like stage pretty early and knew it was time to take the last doses before I lose control of my hands. I grab the gram and twist the top off; with the silver bumper, I snort two larger clumps. This caused my eyes to water and my right nostril completely close up after the last hit.

S – 15
The intensity of the onset increased as my mind felt unaware of the room I was in and the body that surrounded it. I could notice the deaf man to my right was playing on his phone, none of us know ASL and he can only read the lips of my cousin. She is sitting to my left and begins to cuddle her boyfriend as she drifts off. Her boyfriend and I lock eyes and I share with him my current feelings of euphoria and we discuss favorite movies. It was his first time on ketamine so I wanted to know what he was feeling and how he perceived it. Later we talked about Tenet and The Dark Knight while looking for music to drift along to. I play “In Dark by Mr. Kitty” and immediately fall into a new stage of disassociation. As I was telling him how the Dark Knight was my favorite movie, I lost my train of thought, and could no longer speak coherently. I decided to begin riding to the peak.

S – 20
My perception of time went away around this period as I am now rushed with immense joy and love. We all can barely talk and communicate, so we would look intensely into each other’s eyes and say “I love you to each other” after that we would break out in laughter. As the intense euphoria kicks in, it simultaneously dissipates as my body gets heavy and my brain begins to wander off into what I thought was just death. I did not feel like I died, I was simply just in a place that I recognized I will end up in later. I could not know if I was here before, what I was supposed to do, or what its purpose was. I was being without being.

S – 35
As I begin to perceive death, there were no emotions that surrounded it. I felt truly psychotic, I had the understanding that outside of this trip my body was on a couch with three others, though I was sitting in that same position and my ocular senses display that, my soul had officially died. My body was unimportant as was anything I ever learned on earth, I felt no sadness, no happiness, no joy, no pain, just voided of all feeling. I could only describe it as pure nothing, meaning there wasn’t even nothing to equate it to something. There was no ability to see or feel anything other than nothing or to even add to it, as there was nothing to add to, which made me realize I was nothing. Everything and I was nothing, I could barely grasp what I was doing or searching for. There wasn’t anything malice regarding this experience, I had no control, as I did previously in my sober world. I began to ponder more about the trip I was in and realized I was experiencing the afterlife. Because I was still alive I could not perceive anything around me. The idea the energy that encompasses my soul cannot be created nor destroyed showed me that after the separation of the meat, the energy wanders off within this realm. My energy was the same as all energies around me and I could sense that, but nothing more.

S - 45
I had no idea if it was night or day or what hour it was. I could occasionally remember it was after 6:30 p.m. and I could recall the moment I entered my cousins' house; this would briefly ground me back to the reality that I am high, but short-lived I would re-transcend back into the realm. As I am floating a perceiving absolutely nothing, I began to look at everyone around me. I can’t come to any possible conclusion on the physical walls and items around me. There was a cheap target canvas print of an elephant on the wall along with candles and a stained glass lamp that captured most of my attention. The head of the elephant would move like a cavalier oblique 3D projection while the body was static. I could look at this and know this was an elephant on earth. As I continued to look around, I would attempt to speak with the others. Words would come out of my mouth and come to life, the room would lighten up and my voice became naturally amplified. We all sensed our soles connect in this moment of me speaking, I began to fall back into the grip of reality and an overwhelming rush of joy filled my body. As I could begin to move and control my hand, I reach for the gram and go for another bump.

S – 30
At this point, I recognized it as an indulgence hit. In the previous stage, I had attempted to snort another bump, however, I was physically incapable of untwisting the gram capsule. The task of untwisting it made me feel like an infant, knowledgeable of what I wanted and with the know-how to attain it, however, my body was bullshit. I was anxiously attempting to open it, being concerned about dropping the cap and spilling the powder. I would twist the cap, but the logo on the lid would remain static. I would adjust my hand, arms, and even body to position myself in an advantageous position to open this device without dumping $200 worth of medicine. I eventually notice the logo moving and realized it could be any moment the lid would come off. I could distinguish the color of the lid from the clear chassis but couldn’t see where they come off. My vision wasn’t distorted, it was as if my eyes had no care to function and would only perceive the easiest light waves around the least lazy cones. I was able to successfully take a new hit with minimal distress and secure the K for my final wave.

S – 40
This last dose began to throw me into a delirious state, I was able to notice everyone around me coming down and becoming more grounded in reality. I recognized I couldn’t stay in this realm forever, so I came to peace with the fact that it was time to return. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the last peak of the trip.

S – 10
At this point I was officially coming down, once I began to speak coherently and was able to gain back most motor control, I felt sort of toxic. I took a sip of water which felt thicker and tasted cold, despite it being room temperature. That sip hit my core like I dropped a rock down my esophagus. I realized that I needed to use the bathroom to expel the “toxins out,” I could feel my body was overwhelmed with the K. I had no need to purge my stomach at first, just a need to pee. My cousin and everyone knew what I needed to do. I barely organized myself to get up and walk to the bathroom. I walked like a toddler with decent practice, using the support of the walls to keep moving forward. Once I reached the bathroom I pissed, felt great, and walked back to the couch. Upon sitting on the couch, the acid in my stomach started burning and my head began to spin. I did not hesitate, I stood up confidently and said “here it comes” and made it safely to the bathroom to puke. Immediately felt better and had a smooth come down, only downside was my brain activity was rampant that night and even with Trazodone, I was up for hours.

Exp Year: 2023	ExpID: 117141
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 24
Published: Sep 6, 2023	Views: 407
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Ketamine (31) : General (1), Small Group (2-9) (17)