DOSE: T+ 0:00	110 mg	oral	MDMA
T+ 1:30	20 mg	oral	2C-B
T+ 0:00	20 mg	insufflated	Ketamine

BODY WEIGHT:

75 kg

As I drove back from the set of Charlotte De Witte at Tomorrowland 2022 I repeated these 3 truths over and over in my head:

1) God is a DJ
2) It's a woman, her name is Charlotte
3) And I am the music

___________________________________

My relationship with 2CB is hit and miss. While my friends see all the colors of the rainbow I get a little to no headspace and all the negatives of the body load (and I'm talking about doses of 30mg with 0 visuals here). I'm pretty sure it ain't the product as from the same batch they experience life way differently than I do. I noticed however that in a nexus flip it works somehow, apparently I need that initial serotonin boost from the MDMA to have some 2C-B effect, but still not what others are reporting.

As this was the first of 2 weekends I didn't want to overdo on the MDMA or 2C-B. I normally leave months in between taking MDMA so I went with a extra conservative dosing for me :fun and energy but certainly not getting wasted:
T 0:00 110mg MDMA
T 1:30 20mg 2C-B HCl
T 4:00 20mg Ketamine
T 5:00 20mg Ketamine
(T 8:30 1/2 sleeping pill)

I'm a regular to the festival since 2007 and see it as a tradition to go there. I'm very familiar with the place and have lots of great memories from it, And after 3 years without it I am anxious to restart. I checked the schedule for this weekend and decided that today was the best day for MDMA. The lineup of this Saturday is much better than Sunday, so I'll be ok if tomorrow is just for hanging around and chilling.

As I get on the grounds in the late afternoon it feels like coming home, and still amazed at all these people coming from around the world to this tiny town in this tiny country. People coming from Australia while I come by bike. After 15 years I know my way by heart and meet up with friends, they have a beer and I keep drinking water and mocktails. I get to see some of the names I wanted to see for the past 5 years, enjoy the sunny weather and the people happy on life and more (so much nicer than drunk people). Contrary to 2019 I see less people on too much drugs, actually, which is also nice.

As the evening draws closer we go to the 'techno tent' as we call it, hosted by KNTXT, the label of Charlotte De Witte.
__________________________

I timed everything to make sure I would peak on the 2C-B during CDW's set, I'm giving it another chance tonight!

T 0:00 I take the MDMA and just continue having fun. The DJ playing is somebody I didn't know but a name I have to remember. He looks serious but plays a great set, I like his style!

T 0:45 I feel the first effects of the MDMA, legs and knees stop hurting, I feel euphoric and that wonderful love feeling. I'm a big fan of less is more: when I take more than 150mg the love feeling becomes overwhelming and annoying, I prefer it this way.

T 1:00 It's in full effect! I go in my standard routine of going through the crowd, looking for hugs, giving out stuff and having a blast. The best feeling ever in the best place to do it!

T 1:30 My alarm goes off, time for 2C-B, the set of Charlotte de Witte is starting in 2hrs so I should be peaking during her set and be ready to go home and sleep by the time it's done ...

T 3:30 The set starts and the crowd is getting denser. Unfortunately I feel that the MDMA is starting to wear off, but the 2C-B hasn't kicked in yet. I feel kinda bummed, 2C-B has disappointed me again? Should I take the MDMA redose of 50mg I have with me? No, it's too late. I force myself not to be distracted by the drugs, this set will be a blast with or without! I am here for the music after all.

As it starts the entire atmosphere starts to change, unlike the other artists the color scheme is very simple : black, white, red and blue. No detailed graphics, flames or organic visuals on the huge LED screens, but very sharp, bright and large area's of color with pixellated graphics. Another important detail: the tent is surrounded by bands of light that encircle you. This simple color setup matches the hard, simple and hard beats perfectly.

From here on it becomes hard to keep track of time as very subtly the 2C-B starts to have its effect. My headspace changes completely from being the euphoric extrovert spreading love and interacting and hugging people to going into my own world while the surrounding crowd seem to fade to the background. My head starts generating thoughts like on mushrooms : this is great! What song is this? Am I feeling something? Where are my friends again? Stay in the moment! Stop thinking, start feeling! Why am I not sober, this is stupid. And I realize : 2C-B is working but not as I had hoped!

But luckily it changes and with the music and the light show I enter in a state of trance . The light show seems to be made for people on psychedelics: the enormous X on the huge screen behind the DJ booth projecting its dominance over the crowd, the entire stage flickering red and blue at strobo speed inducing fractal patterns from the 2C-B everywhere, the beats thumping hard in sync with the lights with bright flashes... Somehow I wake up enough to add 20mg of Ket to the mix (I pre-dose them for ease, I don't trust dosing with keys) and shortly after that I go even faster on the trajectory I was on.

With each beat I was losing my sense of space, there was no world beyond this ring, beyond these beats, and I felt as I dissolved.

In this state three truths became clear to me
-In front of me was God, God is a DJ who created this world
-God is a woman, her name is Charlotte
-And I, I am the music

The huge X on the screen in front of me keeps pulsating with the beat and asserting it's dominance, leaving me no choice, pulling me in, demanding that I am the music, that I feel the beats. No, that I become the beat! I'm not allowed to escape to the real world, nor do I want to.
I hover between this state and realizing that I am a person at a festival as the 2CB comes and goes in waves and sneaking another 20mg of Ketamine.

I remained in this state for the remainder of that beautiful set while repeating the mantra over and over in my head as if I was mozes who descended from the mountain with the following truths:

-God is a DJ
-She's a woman, her name is Charlotte
-And I, I am the music

Normally I always try to leave 15 min before closing to evade the traffic and the crowds, even on the best of sets, but this didn't make any sense now. How could I leave? There is no other world beyond this ring of light I can go to?! I am the music of God.
________________________________________

As the set ended so did this state. I could function normally, find my way to the exit but I was in awe. This wasn't a set, this wasn't music, it was a mystical experience. As I left I had no words for this, I just kept saying wow, over and over and over, putting my hand in front of my mouth, going through my hair as if I couldn't believe what happened. All the way home I remained in this state, I just remained in awe repeating the same mantra in my head:

-In front of me was God, God is a DJ who created this world
-God is a woman, her name is Charlotte
-And I, I am the music

I wanted to tell others but realized I would look like a madman on drugs (which is certainly true even if it didn't feel like it)
The set ended at 1 AM and when I was in bed at 4 AM after a shower I had to take a benzo to be able to sleep, I was so awestruck that I couldn't fall asleep after what I experienced.
_________________________________________

This was one of the most profound psychedelic experiences I've had up to now (and I had 5+gr of shrooms in a dark room with headphones on before). The combination of the 2C-B, the music and the light show were absolutely unique and even days later I am still awestruck by the experience.

On one hand I am happy I lived to experience this, and also that I found a way to also enjoy 2C-B (and will retry this next week but with more 2C-B this time). On the other side though I am also sad. I feel as if from now on it is downhill after this peak moment. All the other parties and euphoria from MDMA seem so superficial and I will always compare them to this experience somehow.

Maybe time will help, plus it isn't as if Charlotte is retiring tomorrow...

Exp Year: 2022	ExpID: 116547
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 40
Published: Aug 5, 2022	Views: 1,255
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MDMA (3), 2C-B (52), Ketamine (31), Music (457) : Glowing Experiences (4), Music Discussion (22), Combinations (3), Festival / Lg. Crowd (24)