DOSE:

0.25 - 0.75 mg

oral

Pharms - Alprazolam

BODY WEIGHT:

250 lb

I have found a personal miracle cure for my panic and anxiety disorders, and so far, I have not been able to find any testimonies that match my experience. It is important that I document my success in using less than a milligram of prescribed generic alprazolam at an irregular schedule of once every four to ten days.

Many of the stories about people taking Xanax and finding relief go one of two ways: the person uses Xanax daily and never comes off of it, or the person has success for a period of time before having to dose up to the point of ineffectivity and ultimate overdependence that leads to their weaning off the substance. Therefore, my number one goal in using Xanax as an adult was to use it safely and non-dependently; I had not been prescribed alprazolam since I was 16 years old and experiencing suicidal thoughts frequently. At that time, I was administered 0.25mg a day and it caused a dependence that made the summer of 2008 incredibly difficult. After being taken off of this medication, growing up and being treated for various other psychological issues such as depression and ADHD, I realized that the number one unchecked and left untreated issue in my life was my growing anxiety.

For this reason, I went to my local doctor in late 2020 and explained my history of anxiety as well as my history of using this particular medication and having it administered to me when I was younger. I was advised to get a psychologist and a blood test first, but after extensively trying to find a therapist who works with both uninsured self-pay patients and request for controlled substance referral, I found no luck despite searching up to an hour's radius from where I lived. My doctor's office decided to waive the psychiatric referral requirement and prescribed me 180 0.25mg Xanax for six months. (Many people in my life tell me that this decision on their part was malpractice and that I shouldn't have been granted it, but those are the opinions of non-medical civilians. My doctors made this choice and I've even told my pharmacists this and nobody seems to care that I've been given this potentially very abusable substance. Luckily, I had no intentions of abuse.)

I told my doctor of my intention to use the Xanax to less frequently than the label allows (suggested for daily use but I wanted the 'as needed' approach), as to avoid dependence both chemically and habitually. The risk of Xanax dependence isn't just the chemical buildup and strain on the GABA receptors of one's endocrine system, but additionally the programmed-action dependence effectivity of being able to just reach for a pill to help guaranteedly take the edge off. Any fast acting pharmacological solution runs the risk of gaining this addiction. It is no wonder that people with a proclivity towards enjoying alcohol find themselves attached to it for stress relief; my only reasons in life for not being much of a drinker is the heavy toll that alcohol has on my digestive tract. Xanax manages to play with my GABA receptors without causing any stomach distress, making it a very likely candidate for a drug that I could abuse if not careful. For this reason, I decided I would only be taking Xanax one to two times a week maximum , and that in some instances I could skip a week entirely if I felt I had my anxious behavior and spontaneous panic under control.

2021 begins and I have the prescription, I've set an itinerary for myself that lists which days I'm allowed to have Xanax, but there's an extra caveat: I allow myself to take up to three maximum (0.75mg) per the RX label's safety guide for my weight and height, but I always start at the lowest dose (0.25mg = 1 pill), wait 15-20 minutes, and see if I need more. In many instances across early 2021, I took a single pill in moments of panic and I would be absolutely fine for the four days after. This effect was almost non-psychoactive, simply helping lower my heartrate and jumpy reaction to the adrenaline of worry. But sometimes I would feel like a 0.25mg was not useful or transformative enough, whereupon I would allow myself a second pill. This 0.50mg two-pill dose became my standard dose, not out of dependence or lack of the 0.25mg working, but rather because I would find that I could be fine for up to ten days after 0.50 as opposed to four days after a 0.25mg. When I say that I would be "fine for four-to-ten days", I mean that my worry and anxiety would be so manageable that I wouldn't have any urges or negative side-effects that bring me towards Xanax use. I still have never had a Xanax craving, and I believe it is because I simply don't let it build up or concentrate in my body to enough levels across enough time. The month of April 2021, I took 0.50mg of Xanax only three times, ten days apart (04/03, 04/13 and 04/23). A single milligram and a half of Xanax to control my anxiety for an entire month is almost enough to consider it a long-term microdose. If I had taken the Xanax as many times as some doctors would want, I would've been on 1.5mg a day by this time!

There would be a few emergency instances where panic arose suddenly, such as thinking I was exposed to COVID or having a family member sustain an injury. In cases like this where I experience irregular and acute panic from circumstance beyond my control, I take an instant "emergency dose" which is 0.75mg all at once instead of staggered. This is a strict emergency measure that I only feel comfortable doing when I know that my panic has rendered me near-incapacitated. My anxiety causes reckless behavior by proxy of mistakes made due to how the anxiety causes my body to react physically, i.e. shaking, stuttering, higher fall risk, etc. Since I have strained muscles before in the midst of panic attacks, this 0.75mg three pill dose feels appropriate, and thus far, I still have had zero negative effects or even a pronounced comedown in the day(s) after needing to use this emergency dose. I don't punish myself for taking this dose and allow myself to return to the 0.25-0.5mg dose four days after the emergency.

It is now 16 months after getting my Xanax prescription, I have used close to 150 of the 180 pills that I was told would last me six months and yet I am still safely using these once to twice a week (or in those lucky weeks, not at all with the ten day consecutive no-worry streaks that were completely impossible prior to ever having Xanax). I went to my doctor in early 2022 and told them of my success and requested a refill of the same amount as it would last me to 2024. They have agreed provided that I undergo another blood test to confirm no bodily harm, but luckily, I have zero side-effects to report.

A huge weight is lifted off of my shoulders as I feel like I have found the sweet spot in Xanax dosing for my body. This form of irregular, longform alprazolam microdosing has worked wonders for me. This substance is far too dangerous to take daily and yet I believe it has medical application that is not yet being explored. During the time of taking Xanax in 2021 and early 2022, I have been able to reshape my thinking habits. My time while under the influence of Xanax lets me slow down my thinking and rationally work things out that would otherwise fluster me , and so when I'm not dosed on Xanax, I can much more easily access those reasonable cues from my time on the Xanax and apply them to my entire life. I'm not just less anxious when I'm on these pills, but even better yet, I am less anxious at all times in my life now regardless of what's in my system. That is a true blessing and feels like the closest thing to a cure I've found for anxiety yet.

I only hope others can find the same level of usefulness from this substance as I have.

Exp Year: 2021	ExpID: 116329
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 29
Published: May 7, 2022	Views: 5,316
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Pharms - Alprazolam (98) : Alone (16), Depression (15), Medical Use (47), Glowing Experiences (4), Retrospective / Summary (11)