DOSE: T+ 0:00	12 mg	oral	4-HO-MiPT	(powder / crystals)
T+ 4:00		oral	Kratom

BODY WEIGHT:

147 lb

DOSE: 12 mg 4-HO-MiPT fumarate at 147 lb

Background: This was my first time taking 4-HO-MiPT. I am sensitive to most substances, and sometimes extremely sensitive, which is why I chose to take what I thought would be a small dose. I have used psychedelics for several years. Most of my experience is with 1P-LSD, psilocybin mushrooms and I’ve also had three low dose San Pedro trips, numerous smoked DMT trips, and one experience with 4-AcO-MET.

I had a playlist prepared. For weeks I had been researching this substance. I was set to dose in the evening with my girlfriend as my sitter. I weighed out 12mg of 4-HO-MiPT and stirred it into a clumpy suspension in water (4-HO-MiPT does not readily dissolve into water). It didn’t taste very good, quite a lot like L-tryptophan.

The first alerts happened in less than ten minutes. My vision started warping and it was hard to see details clearly, somewhat like being drunk. The come-up was rapid and distressing. I became very anxious and worried about just how fast it was happening because just a few minutes prior I was completely sober. I started breathing heavily and became worried about what I had gotten myself into. I didn't intend for this to be a strong trip, nor did I expect the possibility considering the dose. I was extremely restless and developed a lot of GI distress, then began to panic and became paranoid that I’d taken the wrong substance. My girlfriend reassured me I was safe and reminded me that we had tested the substance with colorimetric reagents not long before and confirmed its identity. The effects were unfamiliar and, at this point, did not remind me of psilocin. It seemed to peak 45 minutes from dose, but it could have taken as long as an hour. I calmed down when the overwhelming and rapid come-up ended, but my emotions continued to sway back and forth between quite pleasant and unpleasant. At points I wanted it to end. The body load was rough, and I had tremors and was very cold for most of the experience.

It had been years since I’d last taken mushrooms, and I was hoping this experience would have some of the mushroom essence that I value and missed so much. While many aspects were different from how I remember psilocin, the overall character felt the same. In comparison: 4-AcO-MET, which is considered adequately similar to psilocin by many, left me very disappointed with how utterly unlike psilocin it felt. 4-HO-MiPT, however, brought me back to the same beautiful place psilocin brought me during my very first powerful psychedelic experience. I said to my girlfriend that it was "just like it was the first time.” I felt like I had come home after so long and that the spirit of the substance loved me and was taking care of me. I knew I was in good hands and wept as I told my girlfriend how grateful I was.

In the time since my early experiences with psilocin, I’ve used various other psychedelics, predominantly 1P-LSD. Comparing 4-HO-MiPT to psilocin is difficult. It's been a long time since I'd taken psilocybin mushrooms and I was inexperienced when I was taking them. Similar to psilocin, I went back and forth between relaxation and laughter, between anxiety and comfort. This substance produced strong visual hallucinations but, unlike with DMT, they were neither incredibly vivid nor central to the experience. Nevertheless, they were novel. My body and surroundings changing form was the most prominent sensory hallucination. I often felt as though my body was water, especially when I was crying. I turned into a complex waterfall scene on the side of a mountain.

Colors on surfaces in the room shifted through the spectrum, however, colors were not super vibrant with eyes opened or closed.

There were auditory hallucinations similar to DMT, which unsettled me because of my mixed experiences with DMT. My DMT trips started novel and fun, although not profound, and ultimately became disturbing, grotesque, and even malevolent towards me. The 4-HO-MiPT induced auditory hallucinations that I found particularly uncomfortable were loud, menacing beeps and clicks, similar to the sonar of a pod of dolphins or the wispy synthesizer sounds of jazz fusion. When the music became quiet, or between songs, these sounds became very audible. Because of the sonic dissonance, along with the association I drew to DMT, I was not happy to hear them. I ultimately came to see this as a test of my mindfulness and my ability to fully let go. I repeatedly confided in my girlfriend for reassurance that everything was okay and that I was safe.

I saw these unpleasant aspects to be a test of my ability to truly surrender with full trust and faith. Once I realized that the spirit of the substance was testing me, my perspective shifted. It showed me that I did not truly understand. This intelligent guiding force was beyond my capacity for understanding. Instead of an experience of total clarity, which I’d felt on other psychedelics, this was a humbling experience that showed me the pointlessness in trying to understand things which were beyond me, and that instead, I should just have faith. The tribulations of the experience were both a test of my faith and a way for the presence to show itself to me and let me know that I had more to learn and grow. When I realized this, it was like the spirit revealing itself to me directly. The presence manifested itself and was divine and loving. It proved to me how small I am. I am not a religious person, nor was I raised religious, and I have never, and still don't, believe in a god or gods, which made this experience unanticipated and stunning. In total awe and wonder, I felt the humbling presence of God. I said to my girlfriend "I know that I truly do not know. This feels like God."

This was an experience of divine intervention. I’ve had the experience of a loving presence on psychedelics before, especially with psilocin, and I've encountered entities on DMT, but this experience elicited the strongest feeling of a powerful other. I thought it would be ridiculous for the ancients, and modern indigenous groups who use psilocybin mushrooms, to regard their consumption as anything other than consuming the body of God. The feeling of this presence was persistent throughout the experience. For what felt like a long time, I was crying and smiling at my girlfriend in total astonishment.

Whether or not the presence was actually conscious itself, or simply perceived as such, is not important to me because I do not believe that any consciousness has a self, or ego, at the center of it. Love was felt.

I began coming down two hours from dose. I hugged my girlfriend, thanking her for helping me through the experience and, with eyes closed, I felt my body turn into multiple flowering vines, which wrapped around her. For the duration of the come-down I was hungry, but had no appetite, and still later into the night it hadn’t returned. I felt very positive and relaxed, despite being very sore and having a headache. I gradually continued coming down for another two hours, at which point I took a small dose of kratom. I felt pretty much baseline at five hours from dose. I had no trouble falling asleep and awoke feeling rested and refreshed.

What a substance, and what an experience to behold and at such a small dose! It felt long overdue. This experience was incredible and beautiful, and unlike any other experience I've had, but it was not without its challenges. The presence of my girlfriend was reassuring and crucial to my ability to feel safe and give in to the experience. I have nothing but reverence for this amazing substance.

Exp Year: 2020	ExpID: 115736
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 22
Published: Oct 12, 2021	Views: 2,552
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4-HO-MiPT (342) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Entities / Beings (37), Glowing Experiences (4), Difficult Experiences (5), First Times (2)