DOSE: T+ 0:00	1.5 hits	sublingual	LSD
T+ 1:30	40 - 50 mg	oral	4-AcO-DMT	(powder / crystals)
T+ 1:30	100 mg	smoked	Cannabis	(extract)
T+ 1:35	15 - 25 mg	oral	4-AcO-DMT	(powder / crystals)
T+ 1:35	0.25 g	smoked	Cannabis
T+ 0:00	repeated	smoked	Cannabis

BODY WEIGHT:

155 lb

Author is an experienced user of psychedelics and daily cannabis consumer.

Wake up very early in the morning (4am) to maximize my time to search for mushrooms on a cold but still fall day. Search as the sun rises but find few. Trim a recently harvested cannabis plant and wait for my friend to be ready to join me to search for mushrooms again. We find many. As we were picking it struck me it would be a good idea to trip later this day after getting home. Not wanting to use the mushrooms I just picked, I opted for LSD. I didn’t mention to my friend the plan of tripping later in the day.

Upon returning home I eat a small meal and do some minor chores in the house. An hour or so after eating the meal I take 1.5 hits of LSD (115ug per hit according to darkweb source) letting it sit sublingually about 10 min before swallowing. I relax during the come up first by masturbating (sexual behaviour works well with LSD for me) and then trimming a plant and watching a documentary on youtube where a man was living with a tribe of people in Tanzania. As the acid develops I find things the host is doing to be more and more stupid then eventually laugh each time he faces the camera.

I don’t just want to do regular things in my house, I want to get very high and explore whatever space my mind is in. At some point before the LSD I had decided I would take acid and do stuff for a bit, then take 4-AcO-DMT and do a big dab as the acid started to approach the initial peak. After the show ended I took out my AcO-DMT stash (sourced online in an rc store) and poured out what I figured was enough for a solid trip on its own. I didn’t use a scale, I was aiming for 40-50mg. I’m experienced eyeballing doses of this stuff at this point (although I checked the pile of drugs and my remaining bag several times to make sure the acid didn’t get in the way of my judgement). Mix the pile with some juice and knock it back. This is about 1.5 hours since the LSD.

Go do a dab. Sit on the floor and stretch my limbs and close my eyes and focus on developing the trip. I’m starting to see some wispy closed eye visuals and gain a growing body load (feels like after you finish spinning around a lot in place). Have the feeling I might not quite have enough in me to get where I need to go so I ingest another dose of AcO-DMT in the 15-25mg range then vaporize some weed (do a bag). Again I sit and close my eyes and develop the trip. I decide I should go outside with my dog.

I put on my shoes and coat and put my dog’s collar on him, then I glance back at the steps and I’m struck with a strong feeling. I say to myself “but man what are you doing?” and I mean with my life. This year I had lost a well paying professional job because I lost the will do do it anymore. I have had no idea what to do next but know I couldn’t dedicate so much of my time to something I cared so little about. My life recently up to this point had consisted of social assistance, bouts of hopelessness, feeling as though I fucked up everything, and believing that I have no ambitions. As the words I said to myself started to sink in I began to cry and feel like I had to change something.

Walk through the neighbourhood with my dog and search for mushrooms on our way. I feel as though I have a great ability to see them in this state after spending most of my sober hours earlier in the day picking them. There are no visual distortions when I view the grass and everything else in the world is tuned out. I feel like I’m in a hyper aware athletic state and travel very quickly. I can’t know if this helped though because I did not find any.

We get to a park about a half hour after the AcO-DMT and I begin to notice that I am high as fuck and getting higher. I begin to play with my dog running all over the park (it’s just a big field on a hill) and having no trouble keeping up with him. He is really big and can run fast. I reflect on how it’s usually pretty hard to catch him. I was not noticing visuals although it is likely they would present themselves when I tried to focus on something in particular with my eyes. My body load had developed into a pleasant lightness.

I notice the less I conduct internal dialogue the easier it is to run around and not get tired. I have to maintain this state of no extraneous thought to be able to compete with my dog properly. It felt like a stream of consciousness performance state except with the added layer of my mind analyzing how to maintain it. The only other people in the park were two kids playing with each other. It was very nice to be able to pay attention to the kids as I played dog games. I liked watching them craft fun out of nothing and enjoyed how their focus seemed to shift quickly from one thing to another but always be so genuine and total. All of this put me in quite a state of bliss.

As the dog game slowed down I started to have more internal dialogue. My thoughts developed to thinking about how much fun I was having. Then I thought about weed and how I like it a lot. I thought about how it costs a decent amount of money and will likely just wind up costing more over time and after my country legalizes it. Then I realized that I just want to grow weed to make a living. I already do it for fun. I believe that my deep passion for the plant will lead me to a happier more fulfilling life.

When I tried to raise the energy levels playing with my dog again it started to cause my left arm pain for some reason. I wasn’t using it to throw things at any point (right handed) but the more I run the more it feels like I am damaging it. I stop trying to play.

I realize just how trippy my experience has been so far. With a truly psychedelic feeling of having thoughts then realizing afterword why I had them, and running until my arm hurts. Laughing at how overwhelming it all is but I am still able to follow myself. I feel very sure and happy. I cry and ecstatically say “yes” to myself, I feel thankful and happy about having achieved this psychedelic state.

There are no visuals, just what feels like a hyper clear reality. I feel as though I can manifest visuals if I let my mind wander but it feels as though they are distractions from focusing on introspection.

Leave the park to drop my dog home before visiting a friend. The walk back from the park was at first pleasant but built to chaotic once I lost track of my thoughts and stopped being able to remember the root of trains of thought I would go on. This felt like it could degenerate into thought loops trying to figure out pointless roots of psychedelic inference. Instead I laughed and thought about how it doesn’t matter why I’m thinking any of this, it’s just stuff my mind is filling itself with while I’m between tasks. I at one point sort of panic thinking I will go mad when I get home sitting in my house with nothing to do, but then I remembered I was on the way home to get some stuff before I saw my friend.

I was wondering how to remember this ability to deal with challenging thoughts, it always seems easier to be happy when on psychedelics. When I got home I felt the need to channel some of this feeling into some words so I could remember it the next day. I wrote:

wait

eat.meditate.think

tomorrow depends on today

[Meditate and think are synonyms more or less, and wait also means the same thing in this context. Kinda redundant, but they felt important. Wait also means don’t panic. Eat is a reminder to eat healthy food because you’re made of food. ‘Tomorrow depends on today’ is more or less the same thing as eat. If I look after myself today it will help tomorrow even if it doesn’t feel like it will. I kind of like this little message now. I wouldn’t present it with description if it was a piece of art but I’m trying to tell you what a high person was trying to leave for their sober self.]

Was pleased after I wrote this, it felt strenuous to write although it happened quickly. Decided to follow it before I saw my friend. Was hungry so I got some food, also did a bag. My sore arm had come back with me from the park and was developing into a strange tightness in my hand like the muscles and tendons were out of whack and some parts were pulling harder than they should. It felt like my joints would pop and crack if I did too much with this hand (especially in the palm). This became difficult when trying to open a zip locked bag of grains. I tried to open it without my bad hand for a while but was too rushed and used it anyway. I felt like I had injured my hand more after the bag was open and vowed to find alternative ways to interact with the world until my arm felt better.

My racing mind made it difficult to be in my house quiet and alone. I knew the distraction of people to talk to would help me come down and also hopefully stop my strange pain. It was now 5 hours since I took the acid. Gathering my stuff was taxing, I decided to sing songs about what I was doing to help me focus on something feel chill. I made my way to my friend’s house and on the way I felt as though I lost my ability to judge good/bad in the usual way. Sort of like I knew it was probably a good idea to not get hit by cars but things in reality felt so intangible I didn’t feel any real danger from vehicles that passed me. Similarly when I got to my friend’s place I was having difficulty gauging his reaction to things I was saying, whether it was acceptable or offensive or funny or what have you. This was to be a quick visit to pick up hash and weed because I had other meetings as well. I felt bad about this for some reason and didn’t know how to respectfully visit and didn’t want to disclose this information.

Conversation was difficult, I couldn’t really tell what my friend was talking about most of the time but I seemed to say things that allowed it to cary on. I was looking him in the eyes and rather close to him to show I was engaged in our chat but the whole time I felt like I didn’t know what I was doing. He was very baked though and struggled to find all his products and bags to put them in. While I was sitting on his couch watching him move around his home my visual perception was very strange. It felt like I could see everything in the room in front of me, even some of the things behind me, but I could focus on certain areas and then it was almost like I flew over there and had a closer look although I didn’t leave the couch and also had no physical sensations of moving.

I watched my friend find a bag, then lay the bag down and then immediately go look for a bag again. I found this quite funny but did not help him. He then asked what he was looking for. I said “a bag I think” he agrees and goes looking again. His roommate tries to tell him where there are bags, I knew this would further confuse my friend so I mention: “you got a bag a minute ago man look there”. He then goes back to the bag he found before and we all have a great laugh. It felt strange to watch this situation unfold but part of me had a sense that delivering the information slowly would keep me from looking impatient and also not accidentally hurt my friends feelings because I was not able to control my tone very well at the time (at least I thought). We talked more, and I felt as though my friend was trying to find his place in life as well (projecting my own feelings onto him though I think) and I hoped that the trip he is soon taking for several months would help him on that quest. Then I got my weed and went on my way.

As I travel toward the bar where some of my other friends are hanging out I feel as though the distractions of having to talk to them will help me regain my judgement and have me feeling more normal. I also tell myself that drugs wear off you just need to wait and that I haven’t lost it forever. I have a minor panic and don’t really believe myself, I think that I’ll be stuck awake all night wishing I could sleep. But I also have a belief that seeing my friend who was in jail the last few months will return some balance to myself and have me feeling better from then on. I had a strong trip earlier in the year where I felt like I knew the reason he went to jail (not the offence but the societal cause) but I came out of it with no tangible thought of what that was, or really what that meant, but somehow felt it was important. Now I connected it to my wanting to produce cannabis for a career, since he was in jail for cannabis production but now free and still planning to continue when it is reasonable to do so. He went to jail because he is meant to produce cannabis, he’ll keep doing it because he loves it. Our country is going to legalize, everything is going to be fine. I’m meant to produce cannabis as well, everything is going to be fine.

I get to the bar and see my friends. The bar is having a trivia night and I have difficulty understanding what the questions are even asking. My friend consults with me on some of the questions and I give answers. I feel like I am very wrong and have no idea where the answers really came from, retracing logic in my head feels impossible. We kind of give up on it all eventually and just have a chat anyway. I was having a lot of fun drinking a glass of water and eating a slice of lemon. I got to see my friend out of jail and another friend was working at the bar, this made it feel very right and I felt a great sense of belonging and calmness. When trivia answers came in I actually got all the questions correct that I bothered to answer. This made me feel like I was probably doing a good job so far in all my struggled interactions with people.

My friend and I left the bar and walked around talking about his time in jail. I contemplated telling him I was tripping but decided not to. I didn’t tell anyone I was tripping the entire time. After he had to go home I went back to my house. On the way I realized I felt quite a lot better than I did before I went to the bar. I’m happy knowing that I knew earlier that distractions and time would make me feel normal again.

At home I spread out my mushrooms from earlier in the day properly to dry and did some bags. Another friend came over to visit me, we just had some good conversations and smoked a few joints. It was 8.5 hours now since the LSD, 7 since the AcO-DMT, I felt quite good and no longer had any difficulties in conversation or any pain in my arm. After my friend left I was quite tired, it felt like I had been through an ordeal, and I was very ready to go to sleep 11 hours after my initial dose. LSD usually is quite stimulating for me and keeps me awake long after I dose, while AcO-DMT and mushrooms allow for sleep (or a sleep-like state) even while still tripping. Whatever the case, the combination of the two allowed sleep to come easily. I laid in bed wishing my partner was there to cuddle then within a few minutes of laying down they texted me asking if I wanted to sleep together. I felt very happy about this and made arrangements to do so. I was hungry so I said I’d go to their house whenever they were done drinking so I could get food on the way. I fell asleep and they got quite drunk and forgot I was to go to them. This worked out ok because they showed up while I was asleep and woke me up and said nice things to me.

The next morning I awoke to find them not in my bed. I thought somehow I must have imagined them visiting but it felt too real. After I got out of bed I found them in another room. They were drunk and passed out while smoking some weed after they got home, all good. I feel very refreshed and happy this day.

It’s been over two weeks since the event. I have felt very good ever since. Getting goals accomplished and spending my time doing things I enjoy. New grow lights are on the way, I am going to learn the art of cannabis production and find a way of life that I enjoy. I also gained closure on a heavy trip earlier in the year that left me feeling a little strange the past months. A very healing trip. I don’t feel lost anymore.

Exp Year: 2017	ExpID: 111203
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 28
Published: Nov 13, 2020	Views: 693
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4-AcO-DMT (387), LSD (2) : Various (28), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Combinations (3)