DOSE:

repeated

smoked

Methamphetamine

(powder / crystals)

BODY WEIGHT:

175 lb

Preface: I no longer do drugs. This is an account of my last use. It's worth noting that before this experience, it had been roughly 10 years since I had participated in any meth use . I had moved back home, got married, and had children. The worst I had done in the previous 10 years was synthetic weed.

I had just separated from my ex-wife, her and the kids were staying at her parents. I had been staying at our home by myself, just in a vicious cycle of drinking insane amounts of vodka and going to work hung-over everyday. After a week or so, my old drug buddy C sends me a text and tells me he's back in town. Such a weird coincidence, however in my state of mind I didn't think much of it.

He comes over and picks me up around 5pm and says he needs to go to Dallas to pick up a refrigerator so off we go. Ok the way he mentions that he needs to make a quick stop along the way. At some point we end up in some random parking lot just waiting, until another car shows up and C goes to the other car and sits for about 15 mins or so before coming back, producing a plastic sack full of meth. From there we go pick up the fridge and then take the long drive back to his place.

After we get back, we load a bowl and, at this point I am so nervous about the situation, not because I am new to drugs, but exactly the opposite; I am very well acquainted with meth from the past, and had a very rocky relationship with it, to say the least. Back on point; he hands me the glass and I melt it down, and hesitantly put it to my lips. I click the lighter and let the smoke start to build inside the bowl and then proceed to take a very long, hard hit. The RUSH!! My good dear ole' nightmare of a friend!

Every problem I had going on with my life suddenly had a solution and no longer wore me down. I was on a high mountain, higher than any other point, and I climbed it without even breaking a sweat.

We pass it around a few times and catch up on our lives, talking about the old days etc, and before I knew it, it was 3am. I need to get back home, I still had the next day off work to recuperate but I knew how quickly that would fly. I get a gram from him (not sure why I thought that would be a good idea) and he drops me off at my place.

I get home and sit on my couch, thinking about trying to sleep it off. Fuck that, I break out my bag and the crappy old glass C lent me and continue the party on my own. This is exactly why I stopped so long ago in the first place. If it was there, the green light is on until it's gone. So here I am in the wee hours of Sunday morning, in a continuous loop of loading the bowl, blowing huge clouds of white from my tired lungs, and geeking out by the window.

Before long, the bag is empty but the craving is not subsiding , as a matter of fact, the hunger is growing more and more and I can feel the frayed tinges of drug psychosis entering the realm of my world. This was not a clean high where I'm energetic and want to burn energy by tidying up. I find myself curled up with a blanket on the couch, shivering. I'm hitting the glass stem, but I know there's nothing there. Soon, I remember that earlier I had spilled a bunch all over the coffee table and floor (not in reality, but a false memory) so I start looking at the table. There were specks all over it, but I noticed that something happened to my vision. It had become super sensitive. I could identify which specks on the table were actually Crystal and which ones weren't, because each speck had a certain symbol that I could clearly see. Some were letters, and some were alien-like.

I gathered all the good ones I could find on the table, floor, couch... even places that I knew it was impossible to find some. I loaded the bowl (which I had used so much by this time, was broken) and smoked it. I felt the rush again!

This went on and on. I somehow managed to call in sick Monday morning and I was still on this binge! I couldn't think about the outside world. It never once occurred to me that I could probably have just called my friend to hook me up. I only wanted to stay enclosed in my own psychotic world. I could not sleep. Everywhere I looked, I could still see the little specks, each with its own identifying symbol.

Tuesday morning I knew I had to go to work, so apparently, reality started to gradually sink in, but only minimally.

I tried like hell to pull myself together, wash up and to look like a normal human being. I don't remember driving to work or even arriving there. I was working at a factory with a team of assemblers and it was fast paced work. Somehow I managed, though I could tell others knew something was wrong with me. I passed it off as still being sick. All I could do was to try to ignore seeing the specks everywhere with the symbols. But, it just kept getting worse. Soon, the hallucinations turned audio. At first, they manifested as a stereo playing extremely loud. The music was clear and for awhile I actually thought that they allowed someone to play their stereo really fucking loud. It was playing a.d.i.d.a.s by Korn, over and over, and not the radio version either. Then I finally realized how absurd it would be for them to allow this, so I didn't mention anything about it to anyone, I just kinda jammed along with it in my head. I also figured out that I could change the song that was playing by sheer willpower. It was totally unlike just merely having a song in my head, I was ACTUALLY hearing it, every note crisp clear. While this was quite nice, someone unplugged the radio and instead of music...I heard chanting.

It was mild at first and I could not understand the words, but a slow crescendo arose and then I could hear a whole multitude of people, like at a concert venue or something, all screaming at me in unison. They were screaming things like 'IF YOU DON'T LEAVE, YOU WILL DIE IN SIX MONTHS!!'. Over and over. I acted cool and tried to engage in conversation with others to ignore it, but it just kept taking my attention away from everything.

After what seemed like an eternity, work was over. The chanting had finally subsided by that time and I was somewhat back to normal.

My water had been turned off at my home, so I needed to stop at Walmart to get like 6 jugs of water to bring home. The store was right across the street anyways, so I stopped. I started thinking things were back to normal, walking the parking lot to the doors, I didn't hear anything weird. As I go inside the store though, I hear Korn playing loudly on the intercom. I knew it was bizarre, and I almost asked someone else if they heard it to, but I knew I was just crazy. I pay for my items and drive home. I go to the bathroom and the stereo is still playing, but now it is music that my mind was creating. Lyrics and all. It was pretty damn catchy too, and I remember wishing I had a way to record it or write it down. I could have written a whole album of catchy songs and I was singing along with them. By now it was day 4 since I first smoked, day 2 of complete psychosis and I was afraid it would never stop.

Eventually that day I passed out HARD. Fortunately, I awoke the next morning comparatively normal and hungry. It actually took another week or so for the music to stop playing for me completely, and another month before I stopped seeing/looking for specks on the ground.

I have no urge to ever do meth again, and I can honestly say I know everything I will ever want to know about meth and benders. I've been squeaky-clean and straight as a razor ever since.

For those who have never tried meth, or are just experimenting, I will not preach to you, but I can honestly say that doing meth was a total waste, least of all my money, but most of all, my time. I will never get that time back, and that, with family and good friends, is the most precious thing of all...

Exp Year: 2013	ExpID: 110593
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 34
Published: Jan 18, 2022	Views: 1,288
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Sleep Deprivation (140), Methamphetamine (37) : Various (28), Multi-Day Experience (13), Hangover / Days After (46), General (1)