DOSE:

oral

MDMA

BODY WEIGHT:

220 lb

I've only tried MDMA for the first time recently, maybe around February of 2016. My first pop was extraordinary, I felt at ease with myself and my actions, and smoothed over patches with friends just because we felt so lovely inside. Since then, I've popped occasionally (every month or so) and felt the 'magic' as prominent as ever.

It was until I went to a friend’s party that I ended up popping over 6 within 24 hours that I understood the term 'crusty' and experienced first-hand the negative effects of MDMA. After popping so many E's, I felt buzzed but void at the same time. My body was pumping but I felt stone cold on the inside. Usually, with my friends, we smoke a lot of pot, especially on MDMA. So I’m not sure if that was the interaction between the two substances but that’s when I truly felt the magic slipping. After that, I took all the precautions of minimizing the damage I had caused to myself (taking 5 HTP, melatonin before bed and multivitamins).

After sleeping it off, the next day was fine. I didn’t exactly experience a depression days after; I felt great, I felt enlightened. However, I recently popped with a close friend of mine and I felt like I had at my friend’s party. I felt a rush with my body, very much like speed, but nothing in terms of my emotions. I felt sober but like on 100 coffees if that even makes sense.

That night, many hours after popping, I experienced severe mind racing. I couldn’t sleep even after taking 4 pills (3 mg each) of melatonin. I felt crazy, I was anxious, depressed, out of control all at once. Within the span of two minutes, I created the worst idea of myself and seriously contemplated suicide because I was so sure this idea was legitimate. Luckily, I brought myself back up for air and was able to fall asleep after what appeared to be a war with my mind I believed I had lost. Next morning, I felt weird but much more at ease than the night before. I realized I was blowing certain events way out of proportion and thought about things that had zero relevance to my current and future life.

Point being is, MDMA is fucking fun but there does come a point where you’ve had all the fun there is to have and you just have to appreciate what it has made you feel. Ever since that night, I told myself I wouldn’t pop MDMA anymore. Well, maybe not anymore, but I definitely do believe my usage should be much more moderate so that I can experience the magic once again.

Exp Year: 2016	ExpID: 108885
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 19
Published: Jul 26, 2016	Views: 1,717
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MDMA (3) : Loss of Magic (34), Retrospective / Summary (11), Large Party (54)