DOSE:	1 seed	smoked	Anadenanthera colubrina	(ground / crushed)
		smoked	Cannabis
	8 carts.	inhaled	Nitrous Oxide	(gas)

Bufotenin Surprise

Previous experience: Psilocybe cubensis, 4-AcO-DMT, 4-HO-MET, 4-AcO-MET, 4-HO-DET, 4-AcO-DET, 4-HO-MiPT, 4-HO-DiPT, DMT, DiPT, DALT, LSD, Ipomoea tricolor, Argyreia nervosa, 2C-B, 2C-I, unidentified DOx(s), MDMA, some psychedelic piperazine(s), DXM, ketamine, memantine, nitrous oxide, diphenhydramine, Cannabis, JWH-018, JWH-250, A-834,735, some other cannabinoids too, Salvia divinorum, pentazocine, Amanita muscaria, Amanita pantherina, zolpidem, various legal herbs, pharmaceuticals, nootropics, lucid dream aids, and lots of random street drugs.

Set: Anxious with anticipation. Desperately trying not to overthink what lies ahead. I have been very interested in trying bufotenin for many years now and have formed several different ideas of what the experience might be like by comparing what I know about its chemistry to drugs that I've already had experience with; I force myself to push these thoughts away and go into the trip with no expectations. I ask only of the universe that my trip be enlightening and entertaining if nothing else.

Setting: At home on a very peaceful night, on vacation away from any sort of responsibilities at least for the remainder of the day. Everything that I could possibly need is here for me, from snacks, to drinks, to entertainment, to drugs to reverse adverse physical effects, to trusted sitters who will be sleeping and leaving me alone unless I tell them I truly need their help. Everything is good and ready for a night of psychonautic exploration.

Background: I have been taking psychedelics for several years now and have come to understand my relationship with them quite well. I am somewhat insensitive to geometric visual effects such as fractals, kaleidoscopes, and form constants, but rather sensitive to the effects on the mind such as feelings of sensory overload, dissociation, and vivid visionary hallucinations. I also tend to be sensitive to physical side effects on psychedelics such as nausea, muscle tension, and tremors. My favorite psychedelics are tryptamines for the seductive and powerful hallucinogenic style they have, but unfortunately they can also be somewhat heavy on my body particularly with the tremors. I very often use nitrous oxide in conjunction with high doses both to calm this side effect to a degree and to enhance the intensity of the experience. I also use cannabis essentially every time I take any psychedelic.

On this day, an old friend contacted me out of the blue to tell me about how he had obtained some Anadenanthera colubrina and done something with it to make it more workable to smoke or insufflate, I don't recall what exactly but he didn't say it was an extraction. His intent had been to increase the efficacy of the bufotenin in the preparation. After meeting up and hanging out for a bit, he left me with the preparation which was supposedly equal to seven Anadenanthera colubrina seeds. In retrospect, I should have accounted for the fact that this friend seems to be considerably less sensitive to both the visual and visionary effects of psychedelics by weight than I. He briefly described the experiences he had had to me after smoking one and two seeds, and they seemed fascinating but not overwhelming in any way. I am used to my friends being either only about as sensitive to things as I am or even more so, so perhaps this is what led me to divide the pile I was left with into sevenths and use about one seed worth as my first test dose.

I carefully layered the substance which reminded me of orange-brown extracted DMT into the middle of a bowl of cannabis in my bong, loaded a balloon of nitrous oxide with eight chargers and pinched it with a clothespin, and then turned out all the lights in the house and retired with my supplies into my bedroom. Once ready, I contemplated my situation for a moment, took a final deep breath, and then started lightly tapping my lighter flame to the top plant matter on the bowl to slowly heat the seed preparation. My friend had told me that I might be surprised that for the first five minutes or so it may feel like there was nothing happening at all, and maybe this is what got me in the end. I took only a hit or two at first and felt nothing at all, so I took this as some validation that that seed was not going to be at least any stronger than my friend had said, so I courageously finished off the bowl and relaxed in my bed.

For the next phase of the experience, despite the fact that I felt quite lucid for what I was going through, I honestly cannot give a certain chronological order of events. I will describe them in the order that makes the most sense to me though. I do remember that first the shadows in my room began to twist and slide around in ways that they normally do on psychedelics, but it seemed to be a lot stronger than I would have expected really anything to be. I had heard that bufotenin can be even more visual than DMT in the right doses, so it wasn't entirely unexpected. That is where things then start to get the most disorganized in my memory....

At some point I closed my eyes and attempted to meditate and calm myself into the trip. I recall that there was some rising euphoria in the background of everything, but I was also starting to feel quite a lot of physical tension building up within me. The meditation was a success at first, and I even managed to get to the point of seeing hyperspatial architecture similar to DMT beginning to form. It began as the walls of a hallway covered imagery forming before me, and it really was remarkably like DMT in design, but the color scheme was different. Light green, pale yellow, and moderate beige were some of the dominant colors, and white and black stripes made something of an appearance in way that reminded me of LSD above 1000 mcg. In addition to this, and just as I had heard, the design really did seem like it was even more chaotic and complex than it would have been on this level of DMT... but unfortunately, I was unable to explore this on a deeper level due to being pulled out of this trance by the general discomfort of the trip.

By this point, things had gotten pretty uncomfortable. Sweating was the first thing I noticed, and quite a lot of it. It felt like it was being caused by overheating, but I couldn't actually verify that this was happening upon inspection. Likewise, my heart seemed to be beating at a normal rate and strength, so I didn't feel particularly in danger, but I was still relatively worried about myself. My chest felt quite heavy and weird, but I feel like this may have been more related to nausea and gas than anything cardiovascular, though I did not vomit at any time. I've had worse nausea on other psychedelics, but this was far more amplified in a sensory overload kind of way than any others have been. For the same reason, I was also getting more tremors than I do on 4-substituted tryptamines just because my body was spazzing out from the overstimulation. Lastly, just to top everything off, I was getting what I can only imagine was the vascular effects I've heard about from bufotenin, as my limbs felt tight and my legs were actually in some light pain. Overall, I was not a happy camper.

With my eyes open again, the shadows in my room were taking on the form of colorless but completely three-dimensional and life-size humans floating by, swimming dolphins, running big cats, and other things that I was less focused on. The intensity of it was starting to make me shake to an uncomfortable level, and I was beginning to suspect that this was not quite as low of a dose of bufotenin for me as my friend's experiences had led me to believe it might be. Out of some fear of stressing out my body too much, I finally decided that I should grab the balloon of nitrous oxide I had prepared beforehand so that the anesthesia could force me to calm down for at least a little bit.

What I do remember about coming up on the nitrous oxide is that I was a little paranoid about how hard of a time even this was having controlling my tremors, which normally disappear after the first couple of inhales, but by maybe six to eight, sure enough, they had gotten lesser and lesser until they totally ceased. This was the first thing that allowed me totally relax into the experience. The next thing I recall is being completely entrenched in a death experience beyond me control, to a level I have not reached since smoking a Salvia divinorum extract on over 1000 mcg of LSD. The emotional intensity of the bufotenin pretty much completely overrode the dissociation of the nitrous oxide, causing me to flail around in the ether as my consciousness disintegrated until I realized that there was nothing I could do and simply gave into it. In retrospect, I realize also that during this time I was seeing my body from the outside, below me lying in bed and covered in beautiful rainbow auras and tracers. There may have been other things going on as well, but considering just how out of my mind I was at the time, I'm amazed that I even remember that much.

The return back to just bufotenin reality was slow and euphoric. I felt as if I was extremely far away from myself and my sensory perceptions, like I normally do on nitrous oxide and psychedelics, but far more than I ever had before. The first thing I did was realize that whatever just happened happened because I had taken drugs, and then I had sort of a happy aha moment to myself when I realized that I was also on bufotenin. This realization caused some very complex abstract visuals to start morphing around off in the distance, but I can't remember what any of them were like now. Unfortunately, this was probably the most enjoyable part of the trip, not because the rest of it still wasn't quite interesting, but just because it didn't take long again for the physical side effects to return after the nitrous oxide wore off, which doesn't always happen with other psychedelics. This was a little disheartening, but I decided that there wasn't really going to be much else to do at this point but just ride it out. I figured that maybe I could enjoy myself a little more if I went outside where it would be nice and peaceful and natural, so I got out of bed and started to head in that direction.

Moving was far more challenging than I expected it to be. All the tension all over my body was probably the first biggest challenge, since it was just making my body physically difficult to maneuver at all. After that, I was actually somewhat worried that at any moment I could snap off into an out-of-body experience and leave my body collapsed and injured somehow. I had this feeling that I was being pushed out of my body just due to the sheer intensity of the psychedelic intoxication I was feeling and the general vibe of sensory overload; the way that it was altering my perception was actually extremely similar to 4-HO-MET and the Amanita mushrooms, but it was definitely stronger than either of them. My perception also kept sort of flashing in and out with white lights like it has done before for me after sensory overload in public places on cannabis alone. Despite the trip clearly making its best efforts to fight me, I forced myself to keep a calm head through all of this and finally managed to make it outside where I collapsed on a lawn chair.

It actually was quite calm and quiet outside, but trying to just sit and listen to nature turned out to be a lot less relaxing than I had initially hoped. Actually, the simple white noises of nature very quickly grew to become so intense that my entire external reality was becoming rapidly replaced by some entirely different dream world with entities reaching around my perception and starting to attempt to communicate with me. This was far more than I had expected just from this simple change in setting, and it was only making my body take even more of a toll in terms of tremors and the like, so I quickly forced myself to get back up and go inside. This part actually would have been incredibly enjoyable and desirable if it hadn't been pushing my physical state into concerningly uncomfortably territory, a shame.

After this, I simply sat in my room with the lights on thinking about the experience until it finally started to wear off, around forty five minutes to an hour after it first started kicking in. Doing anything else up to that point was simply too overwhelming. Once it finally did start going away though, things returned to normal pretty quickly. Once the physical effects started wearing off I was actually able to enjoy the lingering euphoria a little bit, and my imagination still had a psychedelic visual twist that still managed to be deeply complex. Beyond this point I just went back to lying in bed with the lights off and had a little bit of lingering stimulation, but I still fell asleep before too long. Today I woke up feeling fairly refreshed but still just slightly in a funk physically every now and then. I also got a pretty bad headache from smoking too much cannabis a little while ago, but it went away after abstaining for a few hours. There don't seem to be any other lingering effects.

In the end, I would have to say that this trip was definitely too heavy physically to be worth going to with this dosage again. Perhaps it would be different if I had a clean extraction or preferably even the bufotenin freebase, but until I'm able to try either of those I won't be able to say. For what I have remaining of this preparation, I will likely only dose considerably lower, like maybe one fourth of the dose or maybe one third at most if that doesn't feel like enough, and I'm sure that will still provide me with a fairly powerful experience with hopefully considerably less of a body toll. I get the feeling that this method of use may be especially effective when combined with 4-substituted tryptamines, LSD, or dissociatives. However, I think any combinations with this would require much caution in terms of monitoring my physical state.

Aside from the horrible physical effects, this experience may actually have been one of my favorite of all psychedelics. It was generally similar to other tryptamine psychedelics that I have tried, but it was far stronger in many ways. Its geometric visuals seemed to be most similar to DMT, but different and somewhat more detailed. The psychological aspect of the trip I would probably say is most similar to 4-HO-MET, given the lucidity combined with the feeling of sensory overload. And the out-of-body visionary effects seemed to be most similar to the sort of delirious style I relate to LSD, 4-HO-DET, and 4-HO-DiPT, but to the point that it was practically more comparable to a high dose of diphenhydramine. The complex hallucinations like the completely realistic people and animals moving through my field of vision are like nothing I ever even imagined a psychedelic alone could do, and they outclass any visuals I've ever had on a psychoactive period.

Ultimately, it was a horribly difficult trip to handle, and it was worth every second of it in retrospect. I was concerned by the apparently heavy reaction, but again, no matter how uncomfortable I was, my heart rate and temperature never seemed dangerous. Never in a thousand years would I recommend it to a beginner. This actually feels like something much more fitting to be a conclusion to a long life chapter of drug exploration.

Exp Year: 2015	ExpID: 106345
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 24
Published: Mar 25, 2019	Views: 4,599
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Anadenanthera colubrina (139) : Combinations (3), Entities / Beings (37), First Times (2), Alone (16)