DOSE:

70 mg

oral

MDMA

BODY WEIGHT:

100 lb

I write this during the so-called Molly Hangover. I wouldn't call it a hangover per se. More along the lines of... a kind of mental limbo. Its five a.m. I took my dose at around 8 or 9pm last night. So it's been a good eight or so hours by now.

I haven't rolled in about three or four years. This time I chose to do so with my fiance and best friend. On that note; I urge you to think twice about who you roll with. If you're an easily embarrassed person, do it with someone you trust. You're more than likely going to at least say something you probably wouldn't normally. Inappropriate displays of affection happen many, many times on Molly. This can be awkward later.

My brain is still a little fuzzy. So I'm going to try and write this the best I can.

My MDMA was uncut and in capsule form, I chose to dissolve it in water and drink it. While I've found it usually hits me faster, it tastes awful.

I have done both Molly and 'Dirty Rolls' probably thirty to forty times. I am used to the come up taking twenty minutes to a half hour. Sometimes but rarely any longer. For some reason, maybe due to the long hiatus between doses, this hit me within minutes.

I can feel everything seem to slow down right before the drop. Gravity seems to shift. My head starts to feel thick and cloudy. My vision quickly becomes fuzzy and for a moment I can't focus on anything but catching my breath. The euphoria is overwhelming. My hairs stand on end. All I can do is gasp and smile.

I watch my boyfriend next to me lay back as my best friend turns of the bright room light. It hits me less than a second before he feels it and starts saying 'wow', bringing his hands to his face. I touch mine and it feels great. But I have the overwhelming desire to relearn what his skin feels like. I want to feel his fingers against my face.

This lasts about 30 minutes. During this time, we are trying to discuss if it's okay to kiss our friend, however he is not rolling and has not yet every had the experience so we opt to go against this natural-feeling, impulsive urge to share the love. Instead, we give back and head massages. No doubt they felt better to us than him but he was amused and played the part.

The intensity comes in waves, some rolling, some crashing. This also depends on what we are doing. I found that listening to music helps to intensify the roll while taking a walk down the street calmed us down quite a bit, almost allowing only a body buzz and slight giggles. I'm finding everything interesting or aesthetic at this point. I'm also feeling a sexual attraction to my partner that is hard not to give into then and there. Almost as though I've never seen or felt these things before. .. the part of the brain that tells me what I know about something almost seems to be disconnected, leaving only a strong desire to simply experience. Anything and everything and anything that catches attention.

Upon walking back inside into the dark room, the computer light catches my eye. We watch some electric sheep visualizations just for the fun of it. I notice how in sync they are with the music I am playing on another page. As if everything is supposed to fit together perfectly.... all the while we give each other back rubs or kiss or caress each other's faces, hair, clothes, anything. We are both excited for our friend to roll with us next weekend for his first time. We tell him all the things we want to show him and how much he'll love it.

This lasts for another for hours. My boyfriend and I walk home by 12am. We try and wind down but end up talking for two and half more hours. As soon as I feel myself come down, I am a little sad. I wish it could last a little longer. The insomnia and restlessness has set in. I'm a little disoriented and frankly, bored. I still see visuals in my peripherals but hardly.

This is a pretty standard non-rave/party roll experience as we hadn't done it in years. I was satisfied with the quality of the MDMA and the all together. However it is five thirty and I've yet to be able to fall asleep.

Exp Year: 2012	ExpID: 103677
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 21
Published: Sep 19, 2019	Views: 747
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MDMA (3) : General (1), Small Group (2-9) (17)