DOSE:

2 hits

smoked

DMT

BODY WEIGHT:

160 lb

I started taking psychedelics when I was eighteen, Martin Luther King Day 2013 to be precise. As of today, I’ve taken LSD 12 times, and psilocybin mushrooms once. These experiences have/are taking me on quite a soul-searching journey to say the least.

When I finally acquired DMT in the spring of 2014, I took it back home and was excited to experience it as soon as I could. Looking back, I should’ve waited for a day when I was more relaxed and ready. Regardless, the experience itself was positively satiating.

I prepared .1 of DMT in a bubbler, with ash on the bottom of the bowl, DMT on the ash, and enough marijuana above the DMT so flame from a lighter wouldn’t make contact with the DMT. I made a playlist of appropriate music, and I was ready to go. I was sitting on my bed, my friend across from me ready to catch the piece in case I couldn’t put it down myself.

I lit the top of the weed, and took the longest drag I could. I remember the sensation of smoke hitting my throat changing from the familiar weed feeling to what could only be the DMT. I held it in as long as I could, long enough that I remember thinking that I wasn’t sure at first whether I was starting to black out, or I was feeling the DMT’s effects. As soon as I exhaled, I put my mouth to the piece again and inhaled again as much as I could.

I put the bubbler down quickly, because I suddenly felt it was getting harder to move. I looked across the room at posters on my wall, and saw the colors on them intensify, and for a second it looked like they were starting to slide around. I quickly felt the urge to lay back and close my eyes, so I did.

I felt like my eyes were open, even though they were closed. Then it was as if the colors and hues that are present when I close my eyes and just pay attention started to form together into something. I watched, and it took form into a shape with a presence I could feel. It appeared akin to a chrysanthemum flower. It was pulsing and turning in on itself and moving in indescribable ways. It was like I was seeing the music I was hearing.

The flower in the center of my vision started to break open and get bigger, as if I was being propelled into it. I started to panic a bit, because the propelling sensation was nothing like I’ve ever felt before. The moment I felt nervous, the flower took notice, slowed its movements, and sent streaks of the most incredible soothing pleasure through my whole body, like every inch of my body was orgasming at once. It knew I was scared, and it intentionally calmed me down. It comforted me so much, and then all I wanted to do was let the flower fully embrace and consume me, and it did.

I guess this is what people call blasting off. I went soaring through massive, ever changing, monolithic fractals. I’d see one, and fly into it, all of its internal walls flowing around me, and then I’d just keep going deeper and this would repeat. I went down curved hallways, lined and shaped by fractals. At some point, I saw an eagle-like shape flying in place in front of me. The more I’d let myself go, let go the layers of whatever connection to any part of this conscious world I felt I had, the deeper I’d go.

I started to see a cloaked figure; in fact it looked akin to the grim reaper minus the scythe. It was rising up to its chest out of a swirling galaxy. It took notice of me, and suddenly I was there, wherever there is. I wasn’t being propelled any longer, I felt stationary. I was dazed and confused at first from the intensity of the ride. I started to realize I had the ability to look around and observe my environment. The first thing I saw was it, standing in front of me. I feel bad calling it “it”, but I don’t know what other word to use. I had little perception of anything happening around me at first, because I was so focused on and astounded by the figure before me. Keeping its stature turned mostly towards me, it turned its right shoulder away from me and extended its arm out, motioning me to walk with it. Everything felt so incredibly inviting; I felt like I was at the eternal home where we all belong. I stepped forward, and realized this was my opportunity to see as much as I could while I was at my destination.

There were four or five seconds where I was walking next to this being, and I started seeing things take form, like symmetrical and flowing, living essence around me. I turned to look at my new friend, observed its incredible presence, and suddenly I started getting pulled back. I saw it running in the distance, this time in the form of a kid with a hat running up stairs and through streets. That only lasted about two seconds, and then I fell up and out of it all. I found myself revolving around a fractal-y sun-like object. I tried to push myself back forward, up, and into the sun, because the center of that sun was where I just was before. My efforts proved worthless. Things started to fade and lose form after what felt like ten minutes. For more than an hour afterwards all I wanted to do was close my eyes, relax and watch whatever faint flowings and driftings I could still make out.

You know how people say that when you go into a massage place and get a deep, full body massage, you walk out feeling like a different person? That’s exactly how my mind felt after this experience. Well, my physical body felt relaxed too, but my state of consciousness was relaxed in ways I didn’t know were possible. I feel so much more in everything than I ever did before.

Exp Year: 2014	ExpID: 103673
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 19
Published: Jun 8, 2020	Views: 1,018
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DMT (18) : Entities / Beings (37), First Times (2), Alone (16)