DOSE:	repeated	insufflated	Methoxetamine	(powder / crystals)
			Tobacco - Cigarettes	(daily)

BODY WEIGHT:

90 kg

Warning: I'm not a native English speaker

As an avid DXM user in the past, I've decided to try methoxetamine. I've never tried PCP or ketamine, though I think if presented with such option, I will at least once, as DXM's dissociative effects seem to really agree with me (I've used benzydamine, a little-known deliriant in high doses, too, with overall positive experiences, so I guess I'm the weirdo here).

I'd ordered 500mg from an online shop. I still have around 70 mg of it. I've been binge-snorting MXE during the 9 last days, with one two-day break. I've been doing it at night, usually around 11PM, sometimes redosing a little at AM hours. I've tripped at my flat, usually not leaving the room unless I wanted to go to the toilet or eat.

I've weighed the first few doses on a friend's scale, but then I started just eyeballing it once I knew the look of 25mg of it. I KNOW that it's not advised for any drug.

I've been constrained to low doses, around 20-25 mg, and found that they give something I've called 'psychotic euphoria' - despite MXE flattening the emotions a bit, it also induces its own kind of euphoria and feeling of well-being with the world. The dissociative elements of the experience were most noticeable while laying down in one place and concentrating on one point, though during one of these days I've noticed a 'robo-walk' similar to DXM, with similar effect of 'controlling the body, not being in it'. The music is more enjoyable, though flattened a bit. It seems to have more stereo separation on my (studio grade) headphones, and seems a bit more distorted than it really is. I'm a lyric-writer and a music-maker on my own, too, and have noticed excessive amounts of creativity that led to creation of some abstract, psychedelic and noisy DJ mixes, some beats and writing lyrics that are well-written, but very controversial, offensive, abstract and overall not very well suited for being made public. After a few days of nightly snorting, the creativity toned down a LOT (with some single flashes), while the general mindstate retained all of MXE's initial effects.

But what's 'psychotic' about the MXE euphoria? It's the fact that MXE in low doses (at least for me, your mileage may vary) seems to be a totally mindstate-changing drug (I have believed it should be classified in its own class, like marijuana, before taking bigger doses which potentiated the psychedelic and dissociative effect, and reading again the DXM FAQ which explained to me that it's normal on DXM too. I last used DXM a few years ago, so I didn't remember much of my thoughts).

It's hard to explain, but the general idea is that my thought patterns are messed up and sometimes flipped in contrast to my normal behaviour, and I sometimes realize that only after the trip comes down, even if I'm not hallucinating/dissociated! For example, I am usually a cold, rational and slightly antisocial person, but on MXE I've been emotional, full of love (an unknown feeling to me before that), and even actively discussed religion with my family, though I've been avoiding this topic like fire while off drugs. On another dose, I've started to be 'wild' instead and wrote a lyric which was slandering positive historical figures such as pope John Paul II or Napoleon Bonaparte. I started also to be a lot more talkative. All of these effects on my mind went away when I stopped being on MXE, apart from one: my music taste has changed a bit, I've been starting to appreciate rappers such as Soulja Boy or Chief Keef, while I hated 'dumbed-down' lyrics and such beat production before. All of this while maintaining a constant euphoria. I should also add that MXE acts as a stimulant. I have slept during the days (most of the time from around 1pm while dosing at 10pm the day before), or got no sleep for 2 days at all and then only a few hours of it.

Latest 2 days of the binge I've been starting to take bigger doses, up to 40-50 mg approx. I've noticed then more dissociative and psychedelic effects. They still are more noticeable when concentrating on one point of view. The psychedelic effects included something like OEV Lilliputian hallucinations, but different ('microverse' feeling while focusing for example on a very small object on a surface - it feels like it's the surface of the 'new Earth' or something and a huge monolith standing on it), distortion of body image (looking on my hands and manipulating them was tons of fun - for example, the fingers seemed to be huge, or short, or curvy, or it seemed like my - slightly big - belly is deformed in various ways - this was a pleasurable experience for me though some users can panic), slight variation of overall tint (for me it seemed like everything was tinted slightly reddish or orangeish), more enjoyment of (previously stupid to me) TV sitcoms (at one time I've started to associate with the characters' abilities and personalities and once I thought for a brief second that I AM in the TV, not them - again, it was pleasurable, but some can panic), weird alteration of interaction with animals (I've been thinking the way my dog could 'think' while playing with her), perceiving nonexistent textures while looking at single-colored or slightly-patterned objects, 'mini-holes' consisting of brief full dissociation from the body while eyes closed, though without CEVs (I have not encountered a real M-hole yet, so this term is only something I've coined for my own use).

The main negative effects were: shivering while on MXE (went away along after MXE wore off), warmth in body (really a good feeling though I've been slightly worried about myself sometimes), slight muscle pains (No idea why, it just felt like my hand was very tired from workout even though I did none), slight chest pain, hard dry coughs, double vision (actually neutral to me, because I'm used to it from memories of low-plateau DXM trips) and some skinworm-like feelings. I've repeatedly checked if I don't have an internal bleed because of this weird feeling of something flowing in my body - I'm most certainly sure that I won't see the blood through the skin in case of real internal bleed, but it was my only real paranoia during the MXE trip, and overall it was still enjoyable because of the mental effects overflowing the bodyload. (I've had something like that on coffee overdose, too.)

I should also add that I'm a chronic cigarette smoker. I feel that MXE reduces my craving to go for a smoke, but the craving comes back with the comedown of the trip. One interesting thing is that cigarettes on a comedown tend to (at least in my case) bring up the psychedelic (not dissociative) effects - once I've thought that the nearby growing grass looked like marijuana (not cannabis plants - just marijuana) right after smoking a cig outside. Haven't smoked during the main trip, though my wild guess is it will potentiate it.

The second-to-last day I drank a beer, about 3 hours before taking my highest dose of MXE yet. I wanted to drink another beer, but I couldn't just resist puking (I was on MXE previous night). Later the sensation went away. Then I took a huge line after these 3 hours, about 11pm, around double the first line so I assume 45-50mg, though my eyeballing could be impaired by MXE use itself so please, take it with a grain of salt. I've encountered the strongest feeling of the psychedelic effects described before. I went to sleep about 4am, but decided to read the DXM FAQ again on my phone (I plan to come back to DXM in future). I just fell asleep on my phone about 5:30am. I don't remember my dreams but I woke up by punching my wall with a close fist, to the point of blood spilling from my knuckles for a while. Interestingly, I had already come down off dissociative effects before falling asleep, but I don't remember feeling anything at all from the punch! Then I started to feel increasing dissociation and a feeling of being 'out-of-place' and slightly crazy (like marijuana 'craziness', not psychosis) until midnight, along with increasing shivers, warmth and bodyload. Interestingly, when I went to evening school and then to a friend's, I was pretty much okay.

Things got worse when I came back home (is it an effect of time or sensory input associated with previous week's tripping?) - By that time I was really tired of MXE and wanted to lay it aside for a week or two, and then the effects came back to me and I was feeling really bad. I even considered serotonin syndrome (confusion, shivers, a bit of sweating too) and was about to go to a nearby hospital in the worst moment, but I just kept drinking liquids, went to bed and I woke up fresh.

Overall, it was a good nine-day week, though the final hangover was not pleasurable at all. MXE seems to not build up tolerance very quickly, but I would strongly NOT advise MXE binges, even in low doses - of course, if you take the risk of doing a psychoactive drug at all, which I don't recommend too ;). I had the psychotic euphoria (I still regret listening to so much Soulja Boy, but it seems like this guilty pleasure will hold on, and I've actually recorded some of these written on MXE lyrics - hoping I won't publish them online on an another MXE trip), and the bodyload effects. Sleep deprivation and disruption of the day-night cycle is also not good for the brain, though I guess it contributed to the trip, because I often can't sleep for 3 days or so and I get some delusional/paranoid/psychedelic thoughts out of that alone (though not as intense as those of MXE, even if I managed to get a few hours of sleep during the days). And the most important, YMMV. I haven't seen a report of such weird thought patterns on MXE by anyone, most seem centered on the psychedelic/dissociative effect, so it's possible that my brain is wired a weird way.

Peace!

Exp Year: 2014	ExpID: 102839
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 20
Published: Jun 26, 2017	Views: 1,955
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