DOSE: T+ 0:00	1 hit	oral	LSD	(blotter / tab)
T+ 0:00	1 mg	oral	Pharms - Alprazolam
T+ 0:00	2 g	oral	Mushrooms	(tea)
T+ 24:00		smoked	DMT

I went camping with my friends R, H, and G at Leo Carrillo in Malibu. It definitely was a spiritual journey. I learned that love is life is God, everything is connected through a consciousness that relies on love, and that life is just the way it’s supposed to be; with all of it’s downfalls, it is perfect.

We took the acid in the early afternoon. It was my first time taking acid, so I took 1 tab, my friend H took 1, R took 2, and G took 4. It was sunny and mild and we were all lying in the sun, taking our time, drinking our tea, waking up. The first realization I had was when I was gazing at the tall, sunny, bird-filled trees. I saw a few crows that which gave me bad omens, but there was also a flock of loud colorful green parrots which gave me good omens about the trip I was about to have. I looked up into the sky and saw a high flying seagull, which reassured me that it was all ok.

Anyways, as I said, I was gazing at the large pretty green sycamore tree and it suddenly appeared much more alive than I have ever noticed before. I showed the tree love and I received love. I realized that everything was connected, the people, the trees, the grass, mountains, dirt, flowers, all through a consciousness that relies on love, which I will call God.

We walked across the road to the beach. Everything was so beautiful, it was like looking through a shiny glass. There was a certain watery white shine to everything. We stepped onto the beach, and it was almost nostalgic. Everybody was on the beach together; everybody was family. There were children playing, and people sitting on blankets. We ran along in the shallow water, swirling around, continuing its energy.

Eventually R and I swam out deeper into the water with all of our clothes on. So cleansing, so refreshing, so relieving; I couldn’t stop smiling, I had to laugh and cry. R and I were laughing together with the waves, and she pointed behind me and said, “Watch out, there’s a wave behind you!” I laughed as it washed over me. I was experiencing the truest beauty of life and love towards R and the ocean. The ocean reminded me of life. Some of the waves sent me swirling more than others, some sent me farther off, and right before we got out of the ocean the waves became so gigantic an powerful. The huge waves reminded me of the power of the earth and all of the energy that flows.

I looked up at my friend R’s face, and I remember feeling like she was the most beautiful person on the earth. The colors of her dress blended in with the sky, and her robust brown eyes shone like stones. The sky was 1 million shades of blue.

I experience social anxiety, and it was still definitely apparent at this point into the trip. I read too deeply into things that I should have been able to brush off, and made it uncomfortable between myself and this group of guys. I didn’t know how to make it better. The perfect metaphor at the time was having sand all over me and not being able to get it off. I took some Xanax. My friend’s H and R were understanding of my situation, and helped me through it with kind hearts, but G didn’t. He is deaf, and before I haven’t explained how this happens to me sometimes. He abandoned me with a cold heart. He told the others that he wished he could make a movie so he could show me what I was doing wrong. He said, “everything is yours.” It made me upset. The way back wasn’t as bright. I dislike him truly now but I still love him because he is my friend.
So we got over that.

We got back to camp, and there we met some hippy people who were also on acid who came into our camp and hung out a bit. I really wish I could have been over my coldness and been able to seem normal and friendly, but they understood to a degree. Hippy guy J told me that once I get into the habit of not talking it’s hard to break. I was walking in circles around the camp and said, “I don’t know what I’m looking for.” They said, “whatever it is, we have extra.” J and I looked into each other’s faces as we spoke. He asked me what I liked to do, and I showed him some of my drawings. He said just keep on drawing, but you probably won’t die rich from doing it. He told me that I was good-looking and that life will be easy for me, he said has to walk around his whole life looking like a skeleton. He said he had probably just given me the worst advice ever, but whatever! I feel like I had known those beautiful people, or met them somewhere before. Maybe in a dream. They left to hike without us because we were taking too long to go with them. We hung around camp. My friend cried and was able to feel suppressed feelings from her past. Our other friends came and set up camp and all was well.

When it became nighttime, we sat and stood around the campsite some of us including myself, drinking mushroom tea. For most of my mushroom experience, I was leaning over the fire pit of burning embers. I spoke to them, I told them I loved them and they got brighter, I told them they were dying and that it was ok. I was there with them to appreciate them and watch them pass. I looked into the face of death, and he told me that dying is just a part of life. And that life is perfect. My friends K and B were in their tent giggling, which made me giggle, which made them laugh, which made me laugh. Many times this hysterical laughter happened. Looking back on it I feel bad about it because it was around 2 in the morning and other campers were trying to sleep. Oh well.

At one point, while I was climbing into the tent, I became aware of my body, and let go of some of my ego. I go both ways about my physical appearance at times, but then I realized that it really doesn’t matter. G was making me feel bad about my problem, about his problems, and he told me that we live in a world of shit. I believed him for a while, so I cried and it felt good.

Looking back, I believe that the crows I saw symbolized the social anxiety parts of the trip, and the high flying seagull said to me that it was all ok anyways. This reinforces my belief that life is perfect, including all of its downfalls, because that is the way it is supposed to be.

The next morning, R and I smoked DMT at the beach. That was my final psychedelic experience. I really feel like I experienced the meaning of life, which is love. I loved the ocean, I loved the birds, I loved my friends. Everything was connected. The ocean made a strange electrical buzzing sound. I had a deeply intense feeling of love, happiness, and it was also sort of melancholy because I realized that all things pass. As the drug wore off, we walked back to the car. I turned to the ocean one last time and said goodbye, to the ocean, to the spirit of the drugs which had helped me see things through a new perspective, and to the whole trip. And then, we were on our way.

Exp Year: 2014	ExpID: 102436
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 18
Published: Feb 4, 2019	Views: 968
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LSD (2) : Combinations (3), Nature / Outdoors (23), Glowing Experiences (4), Small Group (2-9) (17)