DOSE:

150 ug

AL-LAD

(blotter / tab)

Trip timeline:
9:54am 1 tab 150ug AL-LAD placed on tongue
10:05 Euphoria beginning
10:10 Visuals coming on SO SMOOTH I FORGOT I TOOK THE TAB!!
10:45 Sooo sleepy + a little cold, some stomach discomfort, smiling ear to ear though, colors are very bright. Feels mushroomy and I have a little trouble walking normally. YAAAAAWN
11:03 My existing headache growing worse, may take aspirin. The visuals are growing stronger, they creep up on you. Feeling quite nauseated indeed
11:26 Feel LOOOPY, strange body load, muscle tremors, lack of clear thinking usually associated with LSD.
12:14 I puked, it felt wonderful (but still unpleasant that I had to). Now I can enjoy the trip, but I'm oddly messed up and can't control my muscles very well, this is unlike LSD for me
4:15 Pretty much back to baseline

Total Duration: 6 hours

As I noted, I felt considerable nausea that detracted from the experience. It was hard to get into the trip because of it and it’s therefore hard to appreciate it. I must say though, the headspace itself at the peak and comedown were very relaxed, more so than LSD. At one point, I went for a walk to my special spot overlooking the Bay and I didn’t even bring my iPod with me, which usually acts as a kind of barrier between me and the overwhelming, sensory amplified trip world. Instead I enjoyed walking slowly, savoring the hot day while listening to distant lawn mowers puttering, birds whistling in the trees and the gentle whoosh of cars passing by. The visuals at the brief peak were pretty spectacular, and perhaps more interactive than any I’ve had at comparable doses of acid. I was thinking of the “hands and feet of God” and a cloud was morphing into giant hands and feet – amazing!! Color was slightly more muted than with acid, but I liked it since sometimes that kind of color saturation at medium-high doses can be almost painful. While sitting on a bench overlooking the water, I thought about my life and meaningful places and people I’ve known. I thought about something a friend said to me recently, which is that I tend to be reserved in sharing my opinions because I feel defensive, and I had a small realization that my feelings are self-evident inside me, and don’t need to be guarded or justified; I can just say what I think without being on edge. I watched the clouds morph for a bit longer before I turned around to go home.

When I got back to the house after my walk, I went upstairs to my mom’s house since she was at work, and I sat on the couch contemplating the fact that I had grown up and lived in the same home pretty much my whole life. I was looking at all the hardcover books of classical literature on her antique Soviet Union bookshelf. There was everything from Dostoyevsky to Plath and books on chemistry and string theory on the shelf; an intellectual indeed. I felt very tenderly connected to my mom at that moment and saw how this bookshelf was more than a storage piece for her favorite novels: it was a statement of who she is and what she values. I thought more on my upbringing as a child of two scientists as parents, and how I had always felt the need to live up to the expectation that I, too, would be an academic. Instead my mind drifted to what my living space looks like downstairs: scattered with cookbooks and exotic teas and spices; psychedelic and foreign art, homesteading and organic gardening how-to guides. It made me smile to consider how our living spaces really are expressions of who we are, and I found a sense of joy in knowing that I have begun to find my niche in life.

At one point while sitting in a lawn chair outside underneath my apple tree, I was listening to a song called “The Meaning of Life” by Reuben Halsey, and at one point there is a voice recording of a woman explaining her take on the world, and she says “I definitely would not want to read the meaning of my life, I wouldn’t want to feel that insignificant. I just feel what makes our world our world is that nobody knows their meaning, and we’re all kind of like, searching together, and that’s what unifies the human race.” I found that statement to be especially profound and beautiful at the time and felt connected to the world in the way that I so crave from psychedelics. It was a transpersonal experience, whereas oftentimes on LSD I feel very drawn into my own internal world and how that relates to the world at large. That there was a slight difference I noticed with AL-LAD, so it's interesting and worth paying attention to next time.

More poetic thinking continued as I gradually came down…

Overall, I wasn’t really prepared for this trip as well as I could have been (I didn’t have any ear buds so I couldn’t wear a hat over my bulky headphones, and therefore didn’t feel comfortable to go on a long walk in the summer heat without sunscreen, which I also had run out of) so I was trapped in the shade of my backyard. Also, I didn’t cook any palatable food and was dying for some crackers to soothe my upset stomach (note to self for future experiences).

Still, I find therapeutic and recreational value in AL-LAD and was experiencing the familiar lysergic thinking about connections in my life, avenues for personal growth and reflections on my past. The next time I try this molecule, I’ll be sure to eat something light but filling beforehand and will have bland food ready in case I feel nauseated and shaky again. The body load was a real drag, especially throwing up, and hopefully it was a one-time fluke - I hope so, because mentally this is a very nice substance!!

Exp Year: 2013	ExpID: 101628
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 21
Published: Nov 6, 2015	Views: 8,169
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AL-LAD (603) : General (1), Alone (16)