DOSE:	1660 ml	oral	Alcohol - Beer/Wine
	50 g	oral	Cacti - T. pachanoi	(tea)

BODY WEIGHT:

150 lb

SOME WEEKS PREVIOUS Ah’d purchased a small quantity of magic cactus from an online vendor – San Pedro, fifty grams, perfectly legal, perfectly above board – a potent brew of which Ah wanted tae try making according tae the instructions that came with the package. Step one was tae steep aw ma freeze-dried cactus flakes in cold water for about three hours prior tae adding some more water plus the freshly squeezed juice from a whole lemon. Seemingly this wis vital.

Ah turned on the auld gas cooker, jist a low heat, at about four-thirty in the afternoon. The water began boiling about quarter tae five. Boiling stopped at seven o’clock.

NB: during the boiling process ma kitchen became filled with a heavy, sickly sweet smell though Ah attributed this tae the required lemon juice Ah’d added tae the brew. Nonetheless Ah wis forced tae fling open a couple of windaes, letting in gallons of fresh air tae dissipate the horrid smell. Also a tiny taste on a teaspoon revealed an intensely bitter, repugnant flavour.

Once the brew had cooled doon a bit Ah strained off the initial liquid, carefully pouring it intae ma designated ‘tripping mug‘. A thick-looking slime, dark green and very viscous; of a consistency similar tae wallpaper paste. Tasted utterly foul. Nonetheless Ah placed aside the initial extract and resumed ma extraction process by the addition of further tapwater tae the cactus flakes for boiling a second time, also according tae ma instructions. By nine o’clock Ah wis finally ready to begin ma San Pedro cactus trip.

It wis a nice evening. The sun wis shining bright and thir wis a refreshingly fine breeze on the cairds, blowing in from the Cromarty Firth. Ah had aw ma windaes flung wide open and aw ma doags were ootside, sniffing aroond in ma front gairden. Ah could hear somebody playing thir records from another hoose. Ah made maself comfortable on the two-seater sofa and prepared tae take ma first sip. Jesus fuck! So foul wis the taste it simply wisnae possible for me tae consume the bitter liquid in one swift gulp. The maist Ah could manage wis meagre sips followed immediately by a hefty swig of Singha beer, imported from Thailand and sold by the bucket ten miles doon the road from where Ah now sat. (Important note: Ah’d already partaken of several different beers prior tae consuming ma bitter-tasting cactus brew. Two 330mL bottles of Hoegarden plus two 500mL bottles of Vratislav, the latter being an import from the so-called Czech Republic.) It took me nearly an hour tae drink the first cactus brew. It tasted utterly shite. Thick, viscous, like poison. A green, slimy syrup. Utterly disgusting, utterly foul.

By ten o’clock Ah felt violently sick.
By 22:43 Ah felt even sicker so Ah wis forced tae go upstairs and lie doon on wir kingsize bed for a while. Ah just lay there with ma eyes shut, trembling. Thus began one of the most incredible series of high-intensity coloured visuals Ah’d ever experienced in ma life, including dreams. At which point Ah suddenly realised ma entire existence, from birth tae death, could be written doon in a book tae be stored, eventually, on a shelf inside a vast library filled with similar books and therefore similar stories tae mine but which could only be accessed or made relevant by those who had known me in life, even peripherally. The visuals consisted of intense, multicoloured fractals moving at high speed – patterns with a strange alphabetical significance almost like language, hieroglyphs.
Suddenly an entity, a kind of shadowy librarian, spoke up from somewhere deep inside ma subconscious.
How did Ah want tae be remembered?
As a great humanitarian?

Whatever ma answer – bad, good, indifferent – the entity assured me Ah’d have tae work hard at it. Very, very hard. Thir wir several questions Ah wanted tae ask the entity, but Ah wis basically too fucked tae articulate any of them. In short, Ah wis completely fucked. By midnight Ah wis unable tae remain in ma bed any longer so Ah took ma doags ootside for a ten minute hike before returning tae wir hoose. Ah felt shaky, a wee bit trembly of chin.

Ah returned home and briefly went inside ma doonstairs toilet and checked ma reflection in the mirror, confirming what Ah already knew: that ma face wis basically flushed bright red with a temperature. Ma heart wis pounding; Ah wis alternatively hot, followed by violent shivers – classic symptoms of poisoning. Ah tried playing a little of ma new guitar, a beautiful Yamaha acoustic that had cost me a small fortune, but the cactus juice had effectively overpowered me. Ah wis fucked. All Ah could manage was a half-hearted strumming of ma guitar strings.

Feeling increasingly weak, Ah climbed the stairs tae ma bed and sometime eftir this Ah tried in vain tae fall asleep. It simply wisnae possible for me tae fall asleep. And nor could Ah stop shivering, feeling uncomfortably hot at the same time. By one o’clock in the morning Ah was still tripping hard. Even by three a.m. Ah was still tripping only less so, or so it seemed tae me. Gradually Ah began tae stop shivering though sleep continued tae elude me. By the time six o’clock rolled around Ah felt shattered, emotionally drained. This had been a difficult trip, one Ah had nae desire tae repeat any time soon. Only once Ah felt fit enough Ah went doonstairs tae the kitchen and discarded the remainder of ma cactus cuttings, chucking everything in the bin.

Overall this wis a horrible experience, though perhaps it would’ve been better withoot the physical symptoms of poisoning – the hot flushes, the shivers, the pounding of ma heart, the delirium, and so forth. It’s also difficult for me tae overstate how utterly foul the slimy extract tasted. By comparison, magic mushroom tea tastes much better. The cactus visuals and the stoned effect were also strikingly different tae those obtained by drinking yer typical mushroomic brew.

By eleven o’clock the following morning Ah felt more or less recovered. Ah just didn’t feel like doing anything in particular. Ah hadn’t even bothered phoning in sick.

Exp Year: 2012	ExpID: 100858
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 36
Published: Sep 28, 2018	Views: 1,382
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Cacti - T. pachanoi (64) : Combinations (3), Entities / Beings (37), Difficult Experiences (5), Alone (16)